Experienced fathers, pls advise first time father here

playground

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Congrats!!

1) natural birth of course. faster recovery
2) a lot of debate about this. I was kiasu so I did it. Doesn't cost too much anway.
3) No - at 6 months they're still not very social. IMO IFC is a last resort if nobody can help you take care.
4) No. We have a 9mo but no car. Invested in this stroller that converts into a car seat (https://simpleparenting.co/car-seat/). We grab/uber everywhere and it only takes a minute to install this in the car. Have also brought this with us on holidays. Beyond 1yo, you can get a travel system - refer to this article http://www.straitstimes.com/lifestyle/families-who-take-taxis-turn-to-portable-car-seats

5) baby sling/carrier. yes, the UV steriliser is worth it. should only cost $300+. if you are intending to breastfeed, consider a good breastpump ($200+ on qoo10) and nursing pillow

6) if your parents place are only 5 bus stops away - that's quite ok isn't it? better than the other alternatives. For me, I made the drastic decision of moving house to be near my parents, who volunteered to babysit. I rented out my HDB and now renting a unit near their house. Makes our daily routine a breeze.
 

-nzy90

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1) Natural birth if possible. Cuz after C-section second one onwards may not be able to try natural. My wife did C-section though. Our gynae told us not much difference to the baby. But recovery takes longer. She was only able to get down and start walking the next day. Hospitalised for 2 nights.
2) I never do for my 3 kids.
3) I sent my kids to nursery at 3. But my wife is stay home mum so we prefer to be responsible for our own kids. IFC, kids can pick up many bad habits also.
4) take the train or bus. We have a car but we rarely use the kids when going out as a family. They see and learn more when you use public transport.
5) breast milk pump?
6) I would prefer to put with parents if they are ok with it.
 

themuk

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(4) Just feel that if taking a car, necessary to get a good child seat / boaster and always strap your child in. No matter how tight you hold the child, in the event of an emergency brake, we'll sure lose grip and they'll just fly off.
 

Mclairs83

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Congrats! i believe many parents here have answer your doubts. i shall contribute as well.

1) Natural birth is always better. Ask ur wife for her pain tolerance, if she cannot take pain, ask her go for epidural.

Always try for natural birth unless you believe in bazi and your fengshui master gave u a specific time to cut.

2) having 2 healthy girls of my own without having signing up for cordlife. i seriously think this is a waste of money. Just my POV.

3) Infant care is expensive. if your wife is not working. why is she not taking care of the baby? Check with ur parents or in-law if they are comfortable helping u out with monetary payment.

4) i'm having 2 kids and a maid. i travel around by Grabtaxi. and yes. UberX and JustGrab/GrabCar will not be able to fetch you. Sometimes they will.

5) ahh Haenim UV sterilization machine sibo? for a start get those which uses a bit of water

6) arrange with ur parents to come over lor. else discuss with ur boss on this. Else ask ur wife to find a job that has no OT.
 

serangoon1

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I will be welcoming my first child at end of year. Doc says its a boy.


Please help me with below questions:
1) is c section or natural birth better?



Needless to say, natural better. But if doc advises csection, listen to him. Some parents I known die die want go natural.
Insisted to deliver big baby naturally. Forceps can cause damage. And wasn't there a few thread on vagina fitsula where poo flows to vagina??? Baby too big thus doc need to cut more resulting in fitsula.


2) is signing up for cordlife or donate cord to the cord blood bank worth it?


I see it as an insurance. I never sign up in end cos of possible cordblood contamination. But it might be more useful if you plan to have more children. Eg. First child healthy, maybe second child might need that cordblood.




3) Worth to send to infant care? My wife keep telling me 6 months can send, but I think he doesn't know anything at that age, and its expensive, why not just send to toddler class at 18months. I personally started education much later at K1.

Not worth to send if your wife just wants him to learn.


4) Is it a need to buy a car with a baby now? I heard grab and uber don't entertain children.


If can afford, just go for it. If not, take public transport also not too bad. Esp now the buses allow open strollers. Just don't get those bulky strollers. Take lift also troublesome. Buy one that can easily fit into bus entrance. I always lift stroller with my child to board bus.


5) What to buy besides baby clothes, baby cot and baby stroller? My wife tell me there is a milk bottle sterilisation kit that costs $400??


nappy rash cream, nasal aspirator , baby fever pads (these 3 very important)

Baby sling try get tula. Buy both sling and stroller. Once bb reach over 10kg, wearing sling is really very tiring

Try getting a cooling mat too. It helps in bringing baby's fever down.

Cotton buds to wipe eyes.

6) Who to take care of baby if both parents working? We both work long hours. One option is leave with parents, but baby travel at night back to my house is troublesome, same HDB town but 5 bus stops away. Stay with my parents my wife also not keen. Second option is hire maid, but I am worried about child safety. Third option leave baby at childcare but even at 7pm, both of us may not be out of office and may get bogged down by OT. How do you manage this?

You willing consider moving into wife's parents hse to stay?
Once bb is out, both of you won't mind extra pairs of hands.

If not consider getting a helper and ask parent to supervise.

pls advise thanks. :(



....................
 

chickenpiez007

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Other than q1 and 2, the rest of the questions are financial questions. Got money to spare or not heartpain to spend, go for the most expensive, else go for alternatives.

Edit: FYI, my wife also opt-ed for natural birth, gynae also strongly recommend natural...but in the end still went for emergency c-sec.....very chor-siao.....so q1 is really dependz on circumstances....

Q2 is how you view insurance....you dont buy the most expensive car insurance just to pray for accident to happen and claim it right? If you do, cordlife most expensive storage plan is just the right match for u.....not your baby.

Sent from Samsung SM-N950F using GAGT
 
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AnTzX_

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first time father here... which hospital to go to ah? actually my wife n i wan to go kk but under private as wife ish pr... but i see alot ppl go tmc, mount a etc like no ppl like to go kk why ah?
 

Arcanell

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first time father here... which hospital to go to ah? actually my wife n i wan to go kk but under private as wife ish pr... but i see alot ppl go tmc, mount a etc like no ppl like to go kk why ah?

congrats to fatherhood!

ask your gynae which hospital he/she uses for delivery. Your wife will follow your gynae throughout her pregnancy term. Make sure both of you are comfortable with the gynae and know upfront the delivery charges. KK is govt hospital, if your gynae is from KK, expect longer appointment wait time and charges are relatively cheaper compare to private doctors. TMC and Mt A are private hospital, hence shorter wait time and more personalised service.
 

AnTzX_

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congrats to fatherhood!

ask your gynae which hospital he/she uses for delivery. Your wife will follow your gynae throughout her pregnancy term. Make sure both of you are comfortable with the gynae and know upfront the delivery charges. KK is govt hospital, if your gynae is from KK, expect longer appointment wait time and charges are relatively cheaper compare to private doctors. TMC and Mt A are private hospital, hence shorter wait time and more personalised service.

thank u... :) but if i were to go kk for my gynae and opt for private suite package will the waiting time be same as long?:o
 

themuk

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first time father here... which hospital to go to ah? actually my wife n i wan to go kk but under private as wife ish pr... but i see alot ppl go tmc, mount a etc like no ppl like to go kk why ah?
kk is fine... quite some of my friends go there...
 

AnTzX_

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kk is fine... quite some of my friends go there...

Oh ok... But here comes the qns... There's a lot of docs to choose from... Shld I juz randomly ask the nurse choose for me or wat... Cos there's a lot of recommendations online... Duno how to start.. :s22:
 

themuk

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Oh ok... But here comes the qns... There's a lot of docs to choose from... Shld I juz randomly ask the nurse choose for me or wat... Cos there's a lot of recommendations online... Duno how to start.. :s22:
erm, so you rather fixed of choosing kk? do consider the travelling to kk. For mine, we visited one of the neighnourhood gynae.
 

zjlim86

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I will be welcoming my first child at end of year. Doc says its a boy.


Please help me with below questions:
1) is c section or natural birth better?
2) is signing up for cordlife or donate cord to the cord blood bank worth it?
3) Worth to send to infant care? My wife keep telling me 6 months can send, but I think he doesn't know anything at that age, and its expensive, why not just send to toddler class at 18months. I personally started education much later at K1.
4) Is it a need to buy a car with a baby now? I heard grab and uber don't entertain children.
5) What to buy besides baby clothes, baby cot and baby stroller? My wife tell me there is a milk bottle sterilisation kit that costs $400??
6) Who to take care of baby if both parents working? We both work long hours. One option is leave with parents, but baby travel at night back to my house is troublesome, same HDB town but 5 bus stops away. Stay with my parents my wife also not keen. Second option is hire maid, but I am worried about child safety. Third option leave baby at childcare but even at 7pm, both of us may not be out of office and may get bogged down by OT. How do you manage this?


pls advise thanks. :(

I will be short and sweet.

1) natural is better.
2) we donate in the hope that it will help other since keeping for our own use is too ex.
3) infant care is ex. for me, my mum is helping look after till 18months. also got up and down.
4) i got a car, but mainly is for going in malaysia to visit grandparent. otherwise, traveling in singapore taxi is sufficient. huge expense owning a car
5) since going malaysia, got baby diaper from malaysia. so far baby still on breast milk, so save money on milk powder. got some feedback that milk powder is different in malaysia.
6) my arrangement: sunday evening bring over to parent hse. baby stayed there still friday evening when we bring her back for the weekend. down side: baby does not recongise our hse and is cranky. good side: least troublesome. of cos parent must be willing to take care. baby equipment buy 2 set, 1 for parent hse 1 for your own hse.

hope this help
 

sunshinemou

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For sharing purpose :o

For baby clothes, can consider checking this wholesale place:

Shen Kwong Trading Co
Blk 269 Queen Street #01-246, Singapore 180269
Opening hour: mon- sat (9am-5.30pm)

U can find items for newborn such as:
iCjr186MlGHQB1Q8C2p3.jpg

$17 for 1 pack (12 sheets)

dscn1688.jpg

Kimono top for newborn
Around $10 for 6 tops

Long pants for newborn
Around $12 for 6 pants.

They also sell different sizing of towels and handkerchiefs for infant.
 
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themuk

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For sharing purpose :o

For baby clothes, can consider checking this wholesale place:

Shen Kwong Trading Co
Blk 269 Queen Street #01-246, Singapore 180269
Opening hour: mon- sat (9am-5.30pm)

U can find items for newborn such as:
iCjr186MlGHQB1Q8C2p3.jpg

$17 for 1 pack (12 sheets)

dscn1688.jpg

Kimono top for newborn
Around $10 for 6 tops

Long pants for newborn
Around $12 for 6 pants.

They also sell different sizing of towels and handkerchiefs for infant.
thanks. bought lots of napkins last time for my first child. end up never even use once after seeing the convenience of disposable diapers.

oops, just realised this is where we bought my child's clothes. :)
 

Arcanell

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thank u... :) but if i were to go kk for my gynae and opt for private suite package will the waiting time be same as long?:o

the waiting time will be long is your gynae is based at KK. On the day of delivery, I highly doubt there will any waiting. As for choosing a gynae, do consider the traveling time and cost. Some gynae offer appointment package during pregnancy (meaning lump sum for all appt until delivery). I'm sure your wife will have some mummy friends recommendation.
 

zensushi

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thank u... :) but if i were to go kk for my gynae and opt for private suite package will the waiting time be same as long?:o


Private Suite has become not-so-private any more... :(

Nonetheless, you should be seen within 15 minutes of your appointment time, unless the gynae was called away to handle an emergency or otherwise delayed.
 

o0KelviN0o

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I will be welcoming my first child at end of year. Doc says its a boy.


Please help me with below questions:
1) is c section or natural birth better?
2) is signing up for cordlife or donate cord to the cord blood bank worth it?
3) Worth to send to infant care? My wife keep telling me 6 months can send, but I think he doesn't know anything at that age, and its expensive, why not just send to toddler class at 18months. I personally started education much later at K1.
4) Is it a need to buy a car with a baby now? I heard grab and uber don't entertain children.
5) What to buy besides baby clothes, baby cot and baby stroller? My wife tell me there is a milk bottle sterilisation kit that costs $400??
6) Who to take care of baby if both parents working? We both work long hours. One option is leave with parents, but baby travel at night back to my house is troublesome, same HDB town but 5 bus stops away. Stay with my parents my wife also not keen. Second option is hire maid, but I am worried about child safety. Third option leave baby at childcare but even at 7pm, both of us may not be out of office and may get bogged down by OT. How do you manage this?


pls advise thanks. :(

1. Natural better & cheaper... but depends on situation

2. Kiasee & kiasu - Signed up both my kids. It's like additional insurance

3. Both my kids start at 18 months because have parents to help out

4. Yes if you can afford

5. Everything also got budget price

6. Number 3
 
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