Shahmatt
Senior Member
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- Oct 2, 2006
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My 3 year old is supposed to start at pcf n2 this week. I have my doubts about how he will cope.
The problem is his communication skills are not good. Because of this my wife and I cannot explain to him we will leave him with a teacher for 3 hours. Unfortunately we have never left him alone. Always my wife or I have been with him. Unfortunately we do not have much nearby family so there has been no one to leave him with to test.
Also he is very emotional, very sensitive, easily distraught, extremely hard to calm down. He also has a very temperamental personality, and will also daydream and ignore what you say.
Both my wife and I feel he does not need the learning as in this respect he is good. He can recognize and make out words in books, and even read small books by himself. He can read 3 digit numbers. He can do coloring, pasting things and small activities. Physically he is quite strong and active also and can go on scooter and kick the ball hard.
My wife feels though our lack of nearby family is restricting his social skills. So she wants him to meet and play with other kids. She feels that pcf will give him that. His communication is improving but slowly.
So I have three problems:
1. I do not know how badly he will react to first 3 hrs in his life without us. Sometimes when he is very distraught he does not respond to anything or anyone except me. Sometimes even my wife, who cares for him all day, cannot get through to him. I do not know if a teacher can manage. I do not wish him to become permanently scarred in some way because of this.
I am fine with a child crying in discomfort, but I think he should understand that we will come back soon, so that in his mind he has something to come to terms with. Right now he cannot understand and that's why I am worried.
So I would like to know from parents: How well have you seen pcf deal with separation? Is it the blunt force method of leaving them to cry it out? Do they scold? Do they negotiate? Bribe?
All we have been told is that we have to leave the child and go. No waiting around. This gives me discomfort. What should I do?
2. Will the school give him these social skills or is learning the focus? Will they force him to sit and learn? My kid is guided by my wife but if he is not interested in something no amount of coaxing will work. At his maturity level it is not possible to negotiate with him. We cannot make him sit down and stay in one place if we want to, unless we physically keep him in place. For this same reason strollers have been a disaster, a few minutes seated and he will start screaming. His scream is very powerful and loud so we are normally forced to take him out to be socially considerate.
3. Is it better for me to pay for something else where parents are allowed in and social play is emphasized? If not pcf then where should I look?
The problem is his communication skills are not good. Because of this my wife and I cannot explain to him we will leave him with a teacher for 3 hours. Unfortunately we have never left him alone. Always my wife or I have been with him. Unfortunately we do not have much nearby family so there has been no one to leave him with to test.
Also he is very emotional, very sensitive, easily distraught, extremely hard to calm down. He also has a very temperamental personality, and will also daydream and ignore what you say.
Both my wife and I feel he does not need the learning as in this respect he is good. He can recognize and make out words in books, and even read small books by himself. He can read 3 digit numbers. He can do coloring, pasting things and small activities. Physically he is quite strong and active also and can go on scooter and kick the ball hard.
My wife feels though our lack of nearby family is restricting his social skills. So she wants him to meet and play with other kids. She feels that pcf will give him that. His communication is improving but slowly.
So I have three problems:
1. I do not know how badly he will react to first 3 hrs in his life without us. Sometimes when he is very distraught he does not respond to anything or anyone except me. Sometimes even my wife, who cares for him all day, cannot get through to him. I do not know if a teacher can manage. I do not wish him to become permanently scarred in some way because of this.
I am fine with a child crying in discomfort, but I think he should understand that we will come back soon, so that in his mind he has something to come to terms with. Right now he cannot understand and that's why I am worried.
So I would like to know from parents: How well have you seen pcf deal with separation? Is it the blunt force method of leaving them to cry it out? Do they scold? Do they negotiate? Bribe?
All we have been told is that we have to leave the child and go. No waiting around. This gives me discomfort. What should I do?
2. Will the school give him these social skills or is learning the focus? Will they force him to sit and learn? My kid is guided by my wife but if he is not interested in something no amount of coaxing will work. At his maturity level it is not possible to negotiate with him. We cannot make him sit down and stay in one place if we want to, unless we physically keep him in place. For this same reason strollers have been a disaster, a few minutes seated and he will start screaming. His scream is very powerful and loud so we are normally forced to take him out to be socially considerate.
3. Is it better for me to pay for something else where parents are allowed in and social play is emphasized? If not pcf then where should I look?