Fathers, is a good primary school really that important for your child?

mrspiggy

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I want to provide a different perspective, because it seems to be missing from there.

Fathers-to-be, please do your damnedest to send your kid to the best school that he/she qualifies for, no two ways about it.

The society doesn't value how moral or upright a person is (I'm not saying it's not a virtuous thing, I'm just saying it's undervalued), and if you are unable to inculcate these values at home, don't expect the school to provide that. To put this aside, it means that the pure duty of the school is an unadulterated academic experience.

Do not, for a moment, think that perceived cutthroat schools have drawbacks on character development. In fact, if anything, by growing up in a competitive environment, it builds up character and resilience.

My parents made the (to me) wrong decision to send me to a sub-par neighborhood school, and in that I missed many opportunities when I was young. It doesn't matter if you graduated first in the entire level for PSLE (I did), but the opportunities were just not around. The financial funding of the school is laughable; we had no money for the lithium batteries for our robots, so we couldn't outlast the faster robots from richer schools in competitions, for example. No money for the lab equipment, no money for better computers, for the software... and this wasn't an isolated problem for my CCA.

It's never just about letting nature take its course. When there is a paucity of resources, you are limiting your kid in every imaginable way possible.

And who is to be blamed? You.

I scored high enough to be awarded a scholarship to attend any independent school in Singapore, and yet my parents didn't feel that I could compete with the best in Raffles and Hwa Chong. I scored well above the median score of students getting into those schools, but to them, I was limited because coming from a poor background, I wasn't just good enough for those schools.

They put me in a school where they thought I would be more comfortable, but the only comfort came in that I had literally no competition. I cruised through the levels, got excellent grades, and had to fight for opportunities that were handed to my peers in Raffles. So much struggle, for?

Why do you want to make a choice to limit your kid's potential, and watch him struggle while others just go onto the freeway for success?

Overcoming unnecessary obstacles, and what happened after I got out of those years? Got scholarships and universities offering their most prestigious programs, took up one, graduated with the highest honors from one of the very best university in the world. You could say that the outcome didn't change if I had gone to Raffles, but what you didn't see are the tears and the pain because the school simply couldn't support you when you need them.

Why do you want to make the task difficult for your kid? My parents made the wrong choice. Don't make it.

You are speaking from real life experience...
 

zensushi

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Initially, the intention was to secure a place at RGPS.

After considering everything, my gal is now registered in a neighbourhood school nearby for her primary school education next year.

If, like her cousin, she's bright enough to be admitted into the GEP at Primary 4, we shall cross that bridge then...
 

peterchan75

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@ts,
Just sharing my experience. We were very relax on our first kid. Didn't bother about his reading and writing skills. When he entered primary one, he was put into a remedial program. By that time... panic! :o

As parents, we want our kids to be up to speed if not ahead. The kids also feel the stress when they fall behind. :s22:
 

blurrz

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I tot i was kiasu enough but din expect parents here even more kiasu than i am.
I guess u have to take note of the amount of stress in terms of academic when u r in an elite school.
 

zensushi

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@ts,
Just sharing my experience. We were very relax on our first kid. Didn't bother about his reading and writing skills. When he entered primary one, he was put into a remedial program. By that time... panic! :o

As parents, we want our kids to be up to speed if not ahead. The kids also feel the stress when they fall behind. :s22:


My daughter is soooooo gonna be in trouble... since that's the approach my wife & I are taking! :eek: :o
 

Retribution

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Too many kiasu people in here.

Everyone is working to burn out their kids before they reach post-secondary education.

I don't know if most of you are from public sector based on how people are talking about primary and secondary school.

in reality, what really matters is your post secondary education and hard-work from there.

The other thing that is going to help is you paying attention to your kid and understanding your kids strengths and weakness.

Understanding that, you can carefully mentor her/him to success by guiding the way to his/her strengths and try to be no 1 in the field of expertise and teach him/her how to grow with strength.

In the workplace, the certificate matters, but its only passport. What really matters is your skills and you EQ. The cert is useless after entry.

I was from a normal stream and failed my "O" level twice because I hated memorizing and vomiting stuff.

Now, I earn more than most of my express school mates and have built up a reputation in the field I am a good at.

All because, I learn over time my strengths and from the understanding built myself up.

All the money spent on expensive child care, primary and secondary is useless if your kids get burned out by the time they reach post-secondary education.
 

JAson1980

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So as you know, my baby is coming out end of the year. yesterday I catch up with my friend, he say need to plan for primary school liao. I say isn't it abit too early? He say no. If you want BTO near branded school, you need to apply now, and when BTO completed, just nice your child can apply primary school. He also say if you want to start as community leader, you need to also start serving now.


I studied in neighbourhood primary school myself but the more I google, the more I realised Singapore parents are really very kiasu, got this website called kiasu parents just talk about primary school, and I must admit the allure of my child entering a branded school does sound attractive. My friend told me, if no BTO, see which areas of resale appeal to you. Pay abit more nevermind, don't let cheap BTO price affect the future of your child. Yes you pay lower BTO price, but your child future will be affected just because he does not live near a branded school. Next time when he is older as a teenager, you want to apply BTO live punggol also nobody cares.


Is my friend right? Really so cut throat nowadays in primary school? Secondary school or JC I can understand but primary school level??? :(

Just ask yourself. Do you want the best for your kid?
 

Retribution

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My daughter is soooooo gonna be in trouble... since that's the approach my wife & I are taking! :eek: :o

Reading and writing is fine is the basic tenet of good communication so I think everyone should do that for their kids as they interact with their kids daily.

But to sent them for tuition classes in K1 and enrichment and them back home to do homework and primary 1 work is just ridiculous.

to me anyway.
 

mypillowtalks

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Well, recently a group of us were chit chatting about life with our university professors b4 graduation and this was one of the topics.

In summary, as people are very realistic , we agreed that it will be a privilege as well as good for the overall wellbeing of the child, if they can be placed in a reputable school from the start of his/her academic journey. Assuming that the child can continue into a reputable sec school n beyond.

One reason why we came to this conclusion was because among the group of us, we didn't get to study in those branded schools, and some went thru the ITE route, and some went thru poly into uni. The professor also went thru the poly route into uni, then slowly become a professor, thus he understand it is not a very easy journey.

However, we also have colleagues/friends who got into branded schools since young, and they seems to have a smoother n easier journey later in life.

The schools one attended makes up their "portfolio". It is analogous to choosing the "stats" of the character at the start of a computer game, always trying to get a character w good stats.

My stats :
Neighbourhood Primary School
Neighborhood Secondary School
Local Polytechnic
Local University (In debt w tuition fee loan)

My friend's stats:
Branded Primary School (Head prefect)
Affiliated Branded Secondary School (Student council commitee)
Ang Moh Mia Junior College
Prestigious course in Local Uni (First Class Honours, Dean's list , Scholarship)

My friend definitely look better.

It is also important to be in a reasonably good class in pri n sec school too. I was in the last few class in my sec school, sometimes our teachers kept changing, not so good for our studies. Halfway thru the lessons the discipline master comes in to administer a public caning. Teacher spending lesson time screaming at the class because we r noisy.

Maybe the environment in a reputable school will be more encouraging for the students.

Sent from The Magical Land Of Talking Pillows, Bolsters & Blankets; Far, Far Away Deep In Another Galaxy using GAGT
 
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Retribution

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What is "best"? How do you it is "best"?

What criteria do you use to define "Best"?

How do you know this "best" is suitable for your child?


Up to individual parent. I will give my kid the best i can afford without turning him into an asshole. :o
 

JAson1980

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What is "best"? How do you it is "best"?

What criteria do you use to define "Best"?

How do you know this "best" is suitable for your child?

NO way to substantiate. Instead of asking me, why not ask yourself?
 

CCCustom

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I believe in sending my kids to the best schools within my means. Specially buying a home near a top school to try for Phase 2C is not "within my means". Joining RC / grassroots may be "within my means", although as mentioned previously, I have no ideal school within my constituency. Parent volunteer work during office hours is also not "within my means". Both my girl and my boy will have Phase 2A priority into Mommy and Daddy's alma maters though. I'm not saying I think our alma maters are the best schools out there, but they are the best schools with pretty much guaranteed spots for our kids. Sure there are even better schools, but some of these are oversubscribed even at Phase 2B and still have to ballot, so I'll stick to the bird in hand.

We provide our kids with the tools i.e. the opportunity ... what they do with it is up to them. Important thing is, we'd done our best within our means.
 

Yuripa

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Every school is a good school, its how you spend time and interact with your child that matters slightly more so than going into a famed school.

As long as you can provide your child within your best of means, plus if they understand the importance of acquiring decent life skills then you have done a considerable amount of job.
 
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