any parents here? your parents got refuse to take care of your baby/child?

Le_coq

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they not obliged to take care but since they are the ones who opened their big mouth, all i say is they played you out.

normally i would say parent's don't owe you, you should be taking care of your own kid. Your case different i guess.
 

Ange1cry

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I have hear my friend mentioned to me that taking care of the grandson is very tiring, then my friend suggested to hire baby sitter, then the mother say, like that might as well pay her that money. What's worse is that she expect more than a baby sitter cos it's like she give face help to take care.

For me, I am lucky that my in laws are taking care of my son for me cos of my medical condition. However there are still times whereby she'll nag about how tired it is.

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Emo_Rhino

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My story is both sides fighting to take care of my son...

My wife always let her mum aka 外婆 take care whereas my mum aka 阿嬤 only see her grandson once every month and she is very sad...

My wife hate my mum, every thing my mum said or do, she buay song but everything her mum do is ok...

Really is FML...
Haiz happened to me too. Wife not happy my mum. My mum not happy my Wife. :(
 

Ange1cry

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Infant care should be around 1.4k lidat. I am unsure if there is any subsidy.
As for maid, it should be around 1k if you were to add in all those misc.
Actually quite tough. I have a friend just got married. Both their parents left liao. So they just got a baby. Wife take care baby at home, then my friend, wake up at 7am, go work + fight ot and reach home around 10+ in the night. Whole week never see baby awake before.

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revil78

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once your kid goes childcare and the necessary injection . he will can sick easily. more good days ahead
 

Emo_Rhino

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Hi ts, i am parent myself. Child at 17 months now.

I do hire a helper more on household chores. Mil and sil is helping in day care. 6.30am move off, 9.30pm reached home. I do drive, else i really dun know how. Public transport sure more exp.

My advice to you is based on your situation, consider infant care. 2 months above is the requirement. Of cos, as much as most ppl doesnt want to, no choice. Unless hb jin eh sai, mother doesnt need to work.
Had thought abt it but full day infant care costs much more than maid and maid can also do other stuff like clean the house. Also infantcarr need to pick up by certain time and me n Wife both work Long hrs. But maid I worry will mistreat child. If do both hire maid and send child care one mth 2k plus gone. I not so rich. :(
 

Ange1cry

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Haiz happened to me too. Wife not happy my mum. My mum not happy my Wife. :(
Same. My wife hate my mother to the core. To the extend won't even want to go eat dinner together for cny. One year maybe just see one time only.

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Emo_Rhino

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I don't think TS is pushing all the blame to his parents bah.
I think at this moment he is very lost. Wife due to go back to work, parents last min don't want to look after bb.

He need to find a suitable care giver within a short period of time is not easy.

If his wife can extend her leave of coz is gd. If can't then really is headache liao.

Thanks u got maid agency recommend anot :(
 

gumbokins

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hi bro, feel your pain

went through the same when my first one was born

i dont have in-laws to help, only my mum. also the first baby in the family, so i guess we were all out of our league coz no experience. i was breastfeeding so my mum also felt that it added to the problem because the baby was very hard to comfort. so it was a super stressful period of our lives..I remember one night husband and i went out on a movie date and 30 mins later she called me asking me what time i will be back and can hear the baby wailing in the background. when my husband went to pick the baby up, my mother was in a dazed stupor and didn't talk to us for the next few days (lol). after that we never left the baby with her at night anymore after that.

anyways it was like that for the first few months or so, every once in a while she will bring up the issue of hiring a maid but we didn't as we didn't want to jaga a maid on top of everything else. it got better as the baby got older. but when i got my second kid, it wasn't even up for negotiation, she made it pretty clear that she would not be caring for No.2. I got a babysitter till No.2 was old enough for childcare. Babysitter was also another adventure...every few months will tell me want to stop taking care, must go and sayang her.

The truth is, our parents are not obliged to care for our kids, lah. sometimes when I sit down and think about it, do I want to spend my 'golden' years caring for my grandkids? but at the same time, your parents also need to have time to adjust to a newborn as well.

It's a very heartpain issue coz it's family, yo. all the best, don't take it (too) personally. See things from their perspective as well.
 

fired0ll

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Had thought abt it but full day infant care costs much more than maid and maid can also do other stuff like clean the house. Also infantcarr need to pick up by certain time and me n Wife both work Long hrs. But maid I worry will mistreat child. If do both hire maid and send child care one mth 2k plus gone. I not so rich. :(

Arbo engage helper then ask your parents to come by more often and install CCTV lo
 

kitten19

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Your parents dunno how to say no. Maybe they did want to look after your child but as grandparents, they want the fun part of looking after their grandchild but can't deal with the cranky aspects. Anyway, personally, it's better that way because if you or the helper looks after your child, you can have his diet, hygiene regime, methods of disapline on your terms. When my kids were babies, bloody outlaws would tell me my stock for porridge was too flavourful (no salt used, just bones and veg) and MIL's method was water and soya sauce!
 

Emo_Rhino

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I have hear my friend mentioned to me that taking care of the grandson is very tiring, then my friend suggested to hire baby sitter, then the mother say, like that might as well pay her that money. What's worse is that she expect more than a baby sitter cos it's like she give face help to take care.

For me, I am lucky that my in laws are taking care of my son for me cos of my medical condition. However there are still times whereby she'll nag about how tired it is.

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When I initially told my mum I consider infant care 1.6k she said she will take care instead n ask me pay her that. Now she chut stunt say no ability take care of baby. Sigh :(
 

Ange1cry

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When I initially told my mum I consider infant care 1.6k she said she will take care instead n ask me pay her that. Now she chut stunt say no ability take care of baby. Sigh :(
It's sad to hear that from someone that we thought we can rely on.

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CCCustom

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Srsly. Nowadays difficult to get maid. Pinay and Indon now prefer to go HK or even Taiwan for those who can communicate in basic Mandarin, because pay much higher.
 
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