any parents here? your parents got refuse to take care of your baby/child?

chopra

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night time is e most xiong la. and babies peak in terms of crying during 8th to 12th week.

think it's too much to leave ur kid with them for 2 weeks.
 

Xcert

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Actually quite tough. I have a friend just got married. Both their parents left liao. So they just got a baby. Wife take care baby at home, then my friend, wake up at 7am, go work + fight ot and reach home around 10+ in the night. Whole week never see baby awake before.

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Tell your friend be careful and try to be home earlier...

if not...wife also dun have liao.
 

Tyeehee

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I got my in laws and maid to help out with 2 kids. Once awhile sneak out with ah lao to watch movie and pak tor. haha
 

CatLuVer

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My story is both sides fighting to take care of my son...

My wife always let her mum aka 外婆 take care whereas my mum aka 阿嬤 only see her grandson once every month and she is very sad...

My wife hate my mum, every thing my mum said or do, she buay song but everything her mum do is ok...

Really is FML...
In All the couples i have seen only the wife's parents take care of their kids. The husband can only bring his child to visit his own parents about a month or worse ars once a year only
 

dc7176

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I think mine mum most extreme. When wife preg she say no need to hire confinement nanny. She would help look after baby. Lucky I still go ahead to get a nanny as my wife was still can't walk properly for 2 weeks after giving birth.

After giving birth to her grand child , she ask my dad n my brother not to touch my baby till after 1st month as it's consider dirty.

Wah lan... from tat moment I gave up on my mum to look after my baby.

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sunsetbay

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In All the couples i have seen only the wife's parents take care of their kids. The husband can only bring his child to visit his own parents about a month or worse ars once a year only

my friend fb, his young kids photos only show with his in-law parents side, be it b'day celebration, outing, oversea trip, CNY etc~ i hv yet to see his kids with his own parent side~
 

shizuka_b

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seems like TS got played out by his parents at the last minute, when his mom realized that she is not up to the task after all.

TS, bo bian...bite the bullet and put IFC. I wish you best of luck finding one at such short notice.

ps; i havent been on ANY trip with my wife since my kids were born. My sibling has been on several couple trips, throwing their kid to my parents. Haiz. :( sometimes life doesnt seem fair but we can't keep fighting the injustice. Just focus on energy on overcoming the problem. Jiayou!
 

kaya123

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TS,out of my curiosity asking, if your parents had been upfront telling you that they wouldn't take care of your baby, would you still have one?
 

pikafunk3

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while my wife was pregnant, my parents who were wishing for a grandchild all the while said they were willing to take care of the baby. I said ok, thinking that grandparents look after baby is better than a maid.

fast forward, baby is now nearly 3 months old. baby has been taken care of by confinement lady in first month. and second month by my wife, while my parents came at times in the day to play with him.

then this week, my wife and I took 2 days break to go for a short trip nearby. When I was back, my parents say they cannot look after him. He said he cries every few hours for milk and the crying at night was especially difficult. I mean that's what babies do. Anyone can play with the baby, but to change his diapers, rock him to sleep, and feed him is different issue.

so end up now, they told me to go hire a maid when my wife go back work, and they will just pop by at times to check how it goes.

I have mixed feelings about this. if I knew at the start that they are not going to take care of him, I would have hired a maid, but now I am scrambling to find one before my wife go back to work. also, my parents are not doing anything, not working, just staying at home watch tv, or go market or go out. they are free to live their lives that way, but somehow I just feel abit disappointed and abit jealous that some friends of mine have their parents looking after their children for them.

anyone here also like that? :(


dont take things for granted lah

your parents cannot tahan your baby, what you want to do

in the end it's the parents' responsibility. not the old folks.
 

localITguy

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First of all, as a disclaimer, both my parents and in law are either too old or too with their own lives to look after a kid for even 8 hrs aday.

That said. Sounds like u had a kid on the grounds of what ur parents said.
I wld advise u not to. Its ur life, your family and your child. Your name is on his/her birth cert. Grandparents are there to play, tickle and enjoy their company.

So decide on whats best for your child, your family, your life. Sure its hard.... no one said anythibg in life is easy, but dont give away your right as a parent on the premise of someone else promisig you that they can make it easier on you.

Yeah. Now running, chasing for a miad, training....OmG Omg... i know. I been there and still there. Option is infant care. A compromise perhaps... but what in life is not?

On the flip side... be glad that grand parents dont get involved in your kids upbringing. Dont get me wrong.. but bringing up a kid.... grandparents do a **** job.... parents shld do this role.
Geandparents are there to play, and enjoy them.


Thats my stand. Hope u take it in theright way.

Take it easy dad.... its a never ending iteration of decisions and re-decisions... compromises and commitments.

agreed they will dote on them n say nvm
 

CSI.Hippo

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How much are you willing to pay your parents? Excluding allowance, I pay my mum $1500 per month to take care of 1 baby. And I pay for all baby expenses like diapers and milk powder.
 

BiomedicalPasta

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Considering how my parents are so **** up to begin with, im not even gg to let them see my baby daily or monthly.
 

13oclock

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while my wife was pregnant, my parents who were wishing for a grandchild all the while said they were willing to take care of the baby. I said ok, thinking that grandparents look after baby is better than a maid.

fast forward, baby is now nearly 3 months old. baby has been taken care of by confinement lady in first month. and second month by my wife, while my parents came at times in the day to play with him.

then this week, my wife and I took 2 days break to go for a short trip nearby. When I was back, my parents say they cannot look after him. He said he cries every few hours for milk and the crying at night was especially difficult. I mean that's what babies do. Anyone can play with the baby, but to change his diapers, rock him to sleep, and feed him is different issue.

so end up now, they told me to go hire a maid when my wife go back work, and they will just pop by at times to check how it goes.

I have mixed feelings about this. if I knew at the start that they are not going to take care of him, I would have hired a maid, but now I am scrambling to find one before my wife go back to work. also, my parents are not doing anything, not working, just staying at home watch tv, or go market or go out. they are free to live their lives that way, but somehow I just feel abit disappointed and abit jealous that some friends of mine have their parents looking after their children for them.

anyone here also like that? :(
You can't fault your parents entirely for playing you out. Was the handover done properly before you went away with your wife? Was there a transitional period where you and wife brought baby over to your parents' place to familiarise baby with their home, an environment completely new to him, and to familiarise the gramps with baby's routine throughout the day, his preferences, quirks, hunger cues, tired cues etc? Did you set up the place to be as similar to your home environment, with his usual comfort items?

Even if it's just 2 days, to your baby who has only known mummy for most of his short time in this world, it's a looooong time. And sense of familiarity and security means the world to a baby. If you can't understand this, next time you will be whining about why your baby keeps fussing, and then come tantrums in toddlerhood.

It's a blessing that your parents let you know early and not try to be possessive or be paiseh to reject you and attempt to take care when they can't actually handle. It's for the safety and well-being of both baby and gramps. Worst thing you want to happen is getting a phone call at work that something has happened to both your baby and your elderly parent because they were to tired to be alert enough to handle baby.

And I'm with the others - infant care is your best bet. Not need to go atas infant care. Don't know how you arrive at $1.5k. Source for cheaper alternative.
 
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chenaz

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My Nephew ytd sleep at 7pm and wake up at 2.30am to play . Feelin g sad for my Mother. Whole day taking care of him and finally at night can sleep ended up this boy woke up and play till donnoe what time .

I did try to take care of him for awhile. But after 15 minutes. Play play and lazy to take care Liao. Is very tough to take care for whole day when they just started to walk. They tempt to keep wanting to walk and keep fall. 1 year 6 month and I have to keep following him to prevent him from falling .

Baby still quite ok. Drink and sleep and drink and sleep again
 
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Ormitohhoot

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They got other side babies to take care so abit hard. Initial plan was with my parents since they doing nothing. :(

Doing nothing????
They do more than enough liao for you. To raise you up n u still wan make use of them.
They dun expect you to take care of them , you already tio chio, still wan something in return.

Actually to be honest to yourself , you know y they dun wan help you. Juz that you cant reveal or you still didn't recognise the problem. Give them pocket money regardless they help u w kid or not . Then on to of the pocket money , looking after your bb , you muz give them market rate. Plus by 7pm , you or your wife muz come back take over. N weekend , you have to let them off. Milk n diapers all under you n not under the allowance you give them. Can you do it? If can,I think they might consider helping you.
If can't, then what make you think they muz help you?
Btw, if they didnt open mouth in the first place n say wan help you take care of kid, then will you confirm 100% not having kid this life?
 

paperplane1943

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Hire a maid to do the chores and teach some easy cooking like porridge and easy dishes. Then grandparents just oversee the maid and help here and there.

Most important is to welcome your parents to your home that they find it comfortable to come daily or stay with you every now and then.
 

sneggg

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why night time also need parents ?

night time can ownself, share duties with wifey.. daytime parents can take care, should be fine no ?
 

paperplane1943

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If both parents working , usually wifey take a step back leave work on time or go for part time flexible work arrangement if possible.

If both Cheong hard at work, then leave for grandparents, the grandparents will suffer big time. Coz they also old liao how to take care
 

Ormitohhoot

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my friend fb, his young kids photos only show with his in-law parents side, be it b'day celebration, outing, oversea trip, CNY etc~ i hv yet to see his kids with his own parent side~


You know y? Cuz in laws r selfish kind. If got choice, they will choose to take care of their daughter's children. Son's children leave it to them. Cuz normally the one suffering is the mother which is other ppl daughter. Get it?
 

Ormitohhoot

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I think mine mum most extreme. When wife preg she say no need to hire confinement nanny. She would help look after baby. Lucky I still go ahead to get a nanny as my wife was still can't walk properly for 2 weeks after giving birth.

After giving birth to her grand child , she ask my dad n my brother not to touch my baby till after 1st month as it's consider dirty.

Wah lan... from tat moment I gave up on my mum to look after my baby.

Sent from BOT using GAGT

Hmmm.... What abt touching her own daughter child?
 
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