Actually quite tough. I have a friend just got married. Both their parents left liao. So they just got a baby. Wife take care baby at home, then my friend, wake up at 7am, go work + fight ot and reach home around 10+ in the night. Whole week never see baby awake before.
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In All the couples i have seen only the wife's parents take care of their kids. The husband can only bring his child to visit his own parents about a month or worse ars once a year onlyMy story is both sides fighting to take care of my son...
My wife always let her mum aka 外婆 take care whereas my mum aka 阿嬤 only see her grandson once every month and she is very sad...
My wife hate my mum, every thing my mum said or do, she buay song but everything her mum do is ok...
Really is FML...
In All the couples i have seen only the wife's parents take care of their kids. The husband can only bring his child to visit his own parents about a month or worse ars once a year only
while my wife was pregnant, my parents who were wishing for a grandchild all the while said they were willing to take care of the baby. I said ok, thinking that grandparents look after baby is better than a maid.
fast forward, baby is now nearly 3 months old. baby has been taken care of by confinement lady in first month. and second month by my wife, while my parents came at times in the day to play with him.
then this week, my wife and I took 2 days break to go for a short trip nearby. When I was back, my parents say they cannot look after him. He said he cries every few hours for milk and the crying at night was especially difficult. I mean that's what babies do. Anyone can play with the baby, but to change his diapers, rock him to sleep, and feed him is different issue.
so end up now, they told me to go hire a maid when my wife go back work, and they will just pop by at times to check how it goes.
I have mixed feelings about this. if I knew at the start that they are not going to take care of him, I would have hired a maid, but now I am scrambling to find one before my wife go back to work. also, my parents are not doing anything, not working, just staying at home watch tv, or go market or go out. they are free to live their lives that way, but somehow I just feel abit disappointed and abit jealous that some friends of mine have their parents looking after their children for them.
anyone here also like that?
First of all, as a disclaimer, both my parents and in law are either too old or too with their own lives to look after a kid for even 8 hrs aday.
That said. Sounds like u had a kid on the grounds of what ur parents said.
I wld advise u not to. Its ur life, your family and your child. Your name is on his/her birth cert. Grandparents are there to play, tickle and enjoy their company.
So decide on whats best for your child, your family, your life. Sure its hard.... no one said anythibg in life is easy, but dont give away your right as a parent on the premise of someone else promisig you that they can make it easier on you.
Yeah. Now running, chasing for a miad, training....OmG Omg... i know. I been there and still there. Option is infant care. A compromise perhaps... but what in life is not?
On the flip side... be glad that grand parents dont get involved in your kids upbringing. Dont get me wrong.. but bringing up a kid.... grandparents do a **** job.... parents shld do this role.
Geandparents are there to play, and enjoy them.
Thats my stand. Hope u take it in theright way.
Take it easy dad.... its a never ending iteration of decisions and re-decisions... compromises and commitments.
You can't fault your parents entirely for playing you out. Was the handover done properly before you went away with your wife? Was there a transitional period where you and wife brought baby over to your parents' place to familiarise baby with their home, an environment completely new to him, and to familiarise the gramps with baby's routine throughout the day, his preferences, quirks, hunger cues, tired cues etc? Did you set up the place to be as similar to your home environment, with his usual comfort items?while my wife was pregnant, my parents who were wishing for a grandchild all the while said they were willing to take care of the baby. I said ok, thinking that grandparents look after baby is better than a maid.
fast forward, baby is now nearly 3 months old. baby has been taken care of by confinement lady in first month. and second month by my wife, while my parents came at times in the day to play with him.
then this week, my wife and I took 2 days break to go for a short trip nearby. When I was back, my parents say they cannot look after him. He said he cries every few hours for milk and the crying at night was especially difficult. I mean that's what babies do. Anyone can play with the baby, but to change his diapers, rock him to sleep, and feed him is different issue.
so end up now, they told me to go hire a maid when my wife go back work, and they will just pop by at times to check how it goes.
I have mixed feelings about this. if I knew at the start that they are not going to take care of him, I would have hired a maid, but now I am scrambling to find one before my wife go back to work. also, my parents are not doing anything, not working, just staying at home watch tv, or go market or go out. they are free to live their lives that way, but somehow I just feel abit disappointed and abit jealous that some friends of mine have their parents looking after their children for them.
anyone here also like that?
They got other side babies to take care so abit hard. Initial plan was with my parents since they doing nothing.
my friend fb, his young kids photos only show with his in-law parents side, be it b'day celebration, outing, oversea trip, CNY etc~ i hv yet to see his kids with his own parent side~
I think mine mum most extreme. When wife preg she say no need to hire confinement nanny. She would help look after baby. Lucky I still go ahead to get a nanny as my wife was still can't walk properly for 2 weeks after giving birth.
After giving birth to her grand child , she ask my dad n my brother not to touch my baby till after 1st month as it's consider dirty.
Wah lan... from tat moment I gave up on my mum to look after my baby.
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