2nd one...
Won't go into detail but... When it rains, it pours.
It is this f**king spiral that once you go down, it is really hard to come back up because it really drains you mentally and emotionally. Past few years really no luck - do anything also won't go well. Sometimes plan everything so nice liao with backup plan but still fail until backup plans also cannot salvage the situation and end up in a worse state.
Then so many wtf things just keep happening over and over... Start to feel cursed or jinxed. You start to get demotivated and tired - you want to take a break but you know you can't. And if you do, your life becomes stagnant and sure enough another obstacle will hit you very soon.
It even came to the point I just don't bother sharing with others because they either don't seem interested or just find me "bad vibes" so they distance themselves. You will also feel like a burden because everyone so happy but you're depress/sad and become a mood downer to everyone like that. They also think I'm just not doing anything and having that victim mentality, but knn, I've been trying over and over but everything just not smooth. Most of the time these people will only come find me just to haolian and brag, but first they will feign asking about your life first and just give lip service then start their bragging liao. Either they're super low EQ, or they're doing it to get some sick satisfaction.
Even start to have that resentment against everyone because no one is around when you're down or in the darkest times... You start to realise the knn f**k up side of humans - everyone is selfish and only cares about themselves; they only care about their happiness and expect you to help and listen to them; but when it is your turn they all siam far far or give l* reasons like "i was busy". And when you get mad, they say you f**k up and unreasonable or being totally dramatic. Really knnpcb one.
You also learn the sad truth about women (not bashing women) like they don't care if you're a nice guy going through a tough time; they only want high-quality men... They won't bother if you're struggling. If they know you're struggling, they will just put you on the backburner or "backup" then go find other guys liao. They don't care about the process but the end result. You can also be the most filial child, but in SG people only care those who has 'made' it - condo, car, high-paying job... Filial piety is nothing.
I went from a happy-go-lucky weird guy who always share, while spreading kindness and give listening ear; to a grumpy, cynic old man who feels society is f**k up and don't bother socialising liao.
