Are we just delusional and kidding ourselves?

[jack-320]

The truth is, we dont really know. On the surface, it looks like those who marry early, get a BTO, and have a stable job are progressing smoothly, while those still single seem stuck in a loop. But does that mean they are truly happy? Some might be, but others could be struggling in ways we don’t see.

If happiness was just about financial stability, why do some seemingly successful people: those with high salaries, families, and houses still turn to drugs, prostitution or mistress?
If they were truly content, why would they need an escape?

At the same time, being single isn’t necessarily better either. While it comes with financial freedom, it also has its own challenges, loneliness, societal expectations, and difficulty forming deep relationships.

End of the day, both paths have their ups and downs. Perhaps, we should take path that resonate with us, we find meaning with and suits our preferences rather than what others or society tell us.

As some thoughts.

Well

singles are stuck in a loop, hoping to get out of it one day

singles face the most challenges in life, and they have it tough

you had also admitted that singles isn’t necessary better

but for those who are attached and married, they are happy as they have smooth life

where is the struggle? Where is the challenges in life that they faced

For them, life is good, and bed of roses, once they are attached and married, they have everything in life, their problem is something singles envy, single’s problem is not something attached and married couples envy

to say the truth

Those I know, when they were single, their life is bad, like for example, having little or no money in their bank account, stagnant in their career position, low pay, and so on

but once attached, their life becomes better. Then once married, their smooth sailing good life is set for life

Getting attached is hard, staying attached/married is much more easier

that being said

hope all get attached and married

Of course for the right reasons

then happy, smooth sailing life will be here to stay forever

 

[Bzzbzz]

No one can have everything and I know that. But is easy to just label those who didn't have it easy as just accept and learn and move on when reality we should be thinking deeper why such a vast difference.

I always believe this, is funny how we accept rich people that they want more means inspiring and go getting, while we tell poor people to learn contentment and is the same rich people who have been telling the poor to be contented? Something is fundamentally wrong in the first place, or to be exact, everything is wrong.

When there is a true lack, no amount of telling the person make do is helpful, in fact is dismissive. Is want thing to fix the desire to compare is another thing to actually acknowledge with comparison comes improvement.

That's cute, but you don't really want to improve yourself, do you?

 

[fearlessImp]

Doesn't really bother me. For me, being a BBFA is a coincidental choice I made while managing my hereditary sicknesses. I didn't want to pass down the faulty genes I was born with to the next generation, so I didn't get married. I still look after my elders in my family, and I support other cousins and sibling in their dating and marriages, I wish them well too. The good news is that because of my BBFAness, I get a lot of spare bandwidth to practise Buddhism as a secular Buddhist, I spend a lot of time studying the teachings and trying to transcend myself, it's something which money cannot buy.

I'm quite grateful as I age, things might not be a bed of roses, but there's plenty of blessings which I can still give thanks for. I'm happy.

Thanks.

Do you work on abilities like the third eye? Possible to open?

 

[congster2]

20 years ago 3k is quite a lot. Nowadays many people are still making 3k. But things are so damn expensive and we probably don't have the same opportunities when comes to property liao.

Frankly, you sound like someone who would prefer to be attached. That's why this being single thing is eating at you.
If that is the case, don't give up, keep looking, but pace yourself. I duno what you look like but it doesn't hurt to groom yourself, stay slim etc. Set some targets. Find 2-3 options and pick 1. I have friends who got married in their 40s. Some even in their 50s. It's never too late. Maybe by the end of the year ure attached and it's all worth it.

 

[Okmolly]

not really
i always say human can skip 2 or 3 gen
we are over populated liao
no other big body top super alpha predator got numbers even close to us
we even prey on other alpha predators

i just act out my advice
true to my words

Ya man we need to start open AI skynet for a good apocalypse…

 

[Okmolly]

I used to be like that when I started working after uni. By now uncle already mindset change want a relationship also too old and no longer attractive compared to the yandao 20-30s.

Sometimes don’t think too much just put yourself out there and meet people.
Does not have to develop into a relationship, if it does good, if not also ok.

I realize overthinking often hinders a relationship because I do that too

Damn positive. Agree to this

 

[zeebrugge]

Do you work on abilities like the third eye? Possible to open?

I tried initially, but IMH and SPF intervened by saying that I was going crazy. I was hospitalised at Woodbridge for two weeks and they warned me against practising supernatural powers whether third eye or psychic powers. I told them I will follow their advice.

Maybe it interests you and you might want to give it a try, but my shrinks highly recommended otherwise. They told me it's for my own good not to play with the supernatural. Don't take my advice at face value la, what doesn't work for me might work for others. My Buddhist aunt for instance likes to explore the paranormal, it gives her meaning.

 

[Tiny Shrimp]

Couple both around 30s? Possible cos if both in their 30s, pay shd be around $7- $8k , combined $14- 16k?

Recent report says sg median household income abt $11k + so not surprising

are you a wholesome person?

 

[fearlessImp]

I tried initially, but IMH and SPF intervened by saying that I was going crazy. I was hospitalised at Woodbridge for two weeks and they warned me against practising supernatural powers whether third eye or psychic powers. I told them I will follow their advice.

Maybe it interests you and you might want to give it a try, but my shrinks highly recommended otherwise. They told me it's for my own good not to play with the supernatural. Don't take my advice at face value la, what doesn't work for me might work for others. My Buddhist aunt for instance likes to explore the paranormal, it gives her meaning.

I tried one session, can feel something, but not sure that is the way ahead. After that didn't practice anymore.

 

[zeebrugge]

I tried one session, can feel something, but not sure that is the way ahead. After that didn't practice anymore.

I see.

My ex-girlfriend was into tantra, she taught me a lot of ways to manage my sexual energies and how to recharge. In Tibetan Buddhism we call it "yab-yum". It was also very liberating, I felt emancipated, but I also wasn't sure if that was what I wanted in life. It has been four years since I practise tantra with her, these days I keep my body to myself. So far no regrets.

 

[fearlessImp]

I see.

My ex-girlfriend was into tantra, she taught me a lot of ways to manage my sexual energies and how to recharge. In Tibetan Buddhism we call it "yab-yum". It was also very liberating, I felt emancipated, but I also wasn't sure if that was what I wanted in life. It has been four years since I practise tantra with her, these days I keep my body to myself. So far no regrets.

That is a good way to stay young. You can do it alone no problem. Watch Mantak Chia.

 

[Redcapiscum]

Instead of focusing too much of the next goal and next milestone, why not just relax a little bit?
If keep focusing too much on these goals, we will also lost focus on ourselves too. Life is so much more than that

 

[gnoes85]

If u ask me. Being single and alone is not call 'living', already half leg in coffin. A person is truly dead when he/she is forgotten.

 

[Lolile]

Long time no see, how’s things been?

Hihi
Yeah been awhile. Bz wif work
u working now?

Does median household income in the report include bonus and employer cpf calculations or without?

Should include as this is the std way for calculating income.

 

[IAmChiobu12M]

That's cute, but you don't really want to improve yourself, do you?

So superficial of you to turn a general discussion into a personal attack of me. And only think is all about me. You're on my ignore list. I don't know who's clone you belong to. But I do know you always think is about me yet you still wanna read my post. So lame.

 

[IAmChiobu12M]

Frankly, you sound like someone who would prefer to be attached. That's why this being single thing is eating at you.
If that is the case, don't give up, keep looking, but pace yourself. I duno what you look like but it doesn't hurt to groom yourself, stay slim etc. Set some targets. Find 2-3 options and pick 1. I have friends who got married in their 40s. Some even in their 50s. It's never too late. Maybe by the end of the year ure attached and it's all worth it.

I opened this thread as a general discussion on a topic about single vs married and if we are delusional in edmw or we speak the truth. It has nothing to do with me. Being single or attached or married to me is just a choice and probably different stages of life. I'm more curious if is better and what everyone thinks.

 

[IAmChiobu12M]

are you a wholesome person?

Why kind of survey are you doing? Keep going around asking people this question LOL.

 

[IAmChiobu12M]

Instead of focusing too much of the next goal and next milestone, why not just relax a little bit?
If keep focusing too much on these goals, we will also lost focus on ourselves too. Life is so much more than that

I think is important to not focus too much on goals but I feel deep down only people who have achieved "everything" then will understand actually is not so important after all. If not might comes off we are just comforting ourselves when truth is we lack the abilities to.

 

[Char_Kuey]

not delusional la, not to that extent of a negative connotation

relationship need maintenance and whole lot of attention to each other one,

if you are someone who really like to focus on yourself, earn money and own hobby, even if the heavens send you a girlfriend who like you at the onset will also eventually leave you because your life is all about you,

you cannot fake the maintenance and the provision of attention your entire life one, you can act for a year or maybe 2 but will gradually sink back to your true personality

 

[IAmChiobu12M]

Hihi
Yeah been awhile. Bz wif work
u working now?


Should include as this is the std way for calculating income.

Then is just inflated numbers. And people put too much emphasis on 11k household income and forget they also say average salary is 3.6k which is pathetic... don't know why so many are in slumber and easily get brainwashed by the propaganda numbers that are manipulated to misinterpret.