[SERIOUS] Maintenance for children after Divorce

whysoliddat

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Then why u stilk owe her money? They use your money to make their relationship happier ar wtf?

And no wonder why sinkies afraid to get married these days...

She will nvr marry the bf. This way, they can juz leech from u.....
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Exactly right. She gives me cock excuse say "a good father should find a way to ensure all his kids are well maintained."

Well maintained as in every day feed bird nest intead of rice???

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CoricopatXu

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I am not sure how much help the text messags will provide you but the text message shows that she is aware of the sum you are paying for alimony+maintenance. It is not like you are not paying or giving unreasonable amounts.

Yup agree with this. Record EVERYTHING. Protect yourself.
 

tkh

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Perhaps seek for mediation. Usually family court will advise this to sort out differences over maintenance. But like what others say, seek legal advice.
 

kaisoz

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So if you have bank records to confirm your monthly maintenance payments for the kids, and if you have message records to confirm that she was in agreement with the $, and both of you were still in negotiating (from $10k to $11k imaginary number), then at least, the courts cannot punish you for non-payment.

But it doesn't matter what $X amount you two agreed formally or informally for the kids. If your ex-wife can show with legitimate records that a higher amount is need, say $2X, then you have no chance and likely have to pay $2X.

And you still have the alimony payment to worry about.

Think the only way you can argue for a lesser amount, from what the courts judge as appropriate (both child maintenance and alimony), is that you would enter a huge deficit every month, and really not enough money. Akin to hardship rule. Must be deficit and a huge one.

If after everything, you end up with exactly $0 dollar per month, then the courts probably won't take pity on you. Cos you are legally liable to pay for both kids and ex-wife. Only hardship rule can reduce the amounts you need to pay.

That your ex-wife suddenly make complaint after to the courts, means she has some sort of plan to get the amount she wants. One of her kakis or her lawyer chut this plan.

Just get ready to pay when divorcing. This is not unique in SG. Many countries, the ex-husband has to pay.
 

CoricopatXu

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Exactly right. She gives me cock excuse say "a good father should find a way to ensure all his kids are well maintained."

Well maintained as in every day feed bird nest intead of rice???

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WC States that your children should enjoy the same kind of living standard as they did BEFORE the divorce. That's reasonable, because the kids are the most innocent in this whole situation.

So if they were eating rice before this, they should still be eating rice after the fact.

IF they were eating birds nest every day before divorce... errr.. then you have a problem.

Jokes aside, lawyer up. Hope the judge rules in your favour- she's clearly taking advantage of your kindness.
 

iCubes

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Your supporting case is based on previous exchanges (if you keep a record) that 10k was sufficient for the kids and she did not escalate the matter further with you = she accepted/agreed it was enough.

Her case is she tried to tell you not enough, but you wouldnt budge, so she no choice but to settle for the 10k. Talk to you 10 times also no use, so she just quietly accepted it first then seek legal action.

Now it is only for the Judge to decide what is a fair amount for her and her kids since she complain not enough. Not much you can do here.
 

mrspiggy

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WC States that your children should enjoy the same kind of living standard as they did BEFORE the divorce. That's reasonable, because the kids are the most innocent in this whole situation.

So if they were eating rice before this, they should still be eating rice after the fact.

IF they were eating birds nest every day before divorce... errr.. then you have a problem.

Jokes aside, lawyer up. Hope the judge rules in your favour- she's clearly taking advantage of your kindness.


Will you be able to list down your children's expenses like food, enrichment classes, etc? Put a reasonable figure to your children's expenses. Then can show lawyer that you are still providing the same as before divorce.
 

delceer

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I got this scenario where my exwife asks for $20k (not real figure) for maintenance for two kids. This was discussed during our divorce, so means it was before i got any court orders to pay maintenance for the kids. $20k was too much for me so instead i told her $10k (not real figure) was all i could fork out every month.

There were arguments as she doesn't agree to my amount but i just payed $10k anyways for every month till we were officially divorced. In the end of the month after divorce, suddenly she texted me saying don't forget that i have to pay her alimony on top of maintenance for children which is $15k in total (not real figure). To me, it sounds like she finally acknowledges that i can only pay $10k for the kids and no longer pester me for the initial $20k. Next year my eldest child will be enrolling into P1 so my exwife told me she wants to increase the maintenance to $11k for next year, which i said that shouldn't be much of a problem.

However, now i have received a letter from Family Justice Courts about maintenance for the kids. I was informed that my exwife has made a complaint that i had either not been paying maintenance or i was giving unreasonable maintenance. My question is, if she complains that the maintenance was unreasonable, why acknowledge my $10k and still tell me next year up $1k? If i were to present this arguement during mediation, what would the outcomes most like be?

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Don't pay and declare bankrupt.
Let your kids eat grass.
Do you want to do that ?
 

CoricopatXu

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Your supporting case is based on previous exchanges (if you keep a record) that 10k was sufficient for the kids and she did not escalate the matter further with you = she accepted/agreed it was enough.

Her case is she tried to tell you not enough, but you wouldnt budge, so she no choice but to settle for the 10k. Talk to you 10 times also no use, so she just quietly accepted it first then seek legal action.

Now it is only for the Judge to decide what is a fair amount for her and her kids since she complain not enough. Not much you can do here.

The wife also has to substantiate the request la. She can't just pluck a number out of mid air, there must be a paper trail e.g. School fees, therapy fees, medication receipts etc.
 

whysoliddat

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So if you have bank records to confirm your monthly maintenance payments for the kids, and if you have message records to confirm that she was in agreement with the $, and both of you were still in negotiating (from $10k to $11k imaginary number), then at least, the courts cannot punish you for non-payment.

But it doesn't matter what $X amount you two agreed formally or informally for the kids. If your ex-wife can show with legitimate records that a higher amount is need, say $2X, then you have no chance and likely have to pay $2X.

And you still have the alimony payment to worry about.

Think the only way you can argue for a lesser amount, from what the courts judge as appropriate (both child maintenance and alimony), is that you would enter a huge deficit every month, and really not enough money. Akin to hardship rule. Must be deficit and a huge one.

If after everything, you end up with exactly $0 dollar per month, then the courts probably won't take pity on you. Cos you are legally liable to pay for both kids and ex-wife. Only hardship rule can reduce the amounts you need to pay.

That your ex-wife suddenly make complaint after to the courts, means she has some sort of plan to get the amount she wants. One of her kakis or her lawyer chut this plan.

Just get ready to pay when divorcing. This is not unique in SG. Many countries, the ex-husband has to pay.
Exact same sentiment as me too. I down here already shake head knn divorced also like still married. Even worse now play court somemore!

I dont mind paying maintenance as long as they are sufficient, worrying about she exploiting me is another story.

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CoricopatXu

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Will you be able to list down your children's expenses like food, enrichment classes, etc? Put a reasonable figure to your children's expenses. Then can show lawyer that you are still providing the same as before divorce.

Yes, that is the best thing he can do at this point.

He said that the wife was controlling the kids' finances even before divorce, but you should be able to make an approximation e.g

Kindergarten fees- 1k a month
Diapers- $100 a month
Food - $500 a month
Leisure - $500 a month

That gives you a total of around 2.1k.

If she's asking you for 21K instead of 2.1, the judge will tell her to go **** spider.
 

xiaoken

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You pay what the Order states. Nothing more, nothing less.
 

CoricopatXu

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Exact same sentiment as me too. I down here already shake head knn divorced also like still married. Even worse now play court somemore!

I dont mind paying maintenance as long as they are sufficient, worrying about she exploiting me is another story.

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I don't want to throw this into the mix but.. you don't want to give too much in maintenance either IN CASE it doesn't filter down to the kids e.g. Ex wife using it for her own jollies. It happens sometimes, I'm not saying your wife is that kind of person but people can change, and women can be vengeful creatures.
 

plasticpistola

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Exact same sentiment as me too. I down here already shake head knn divorced also like still married. Even worse now play court somemore!

I dont mind paying maintenance as long as they are sufficient, worrying about she exploiting me is another story.

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sorry to hear about this man. you got go get a lawyer oredi not?
 
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