TrollAndOgres
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- Feb 17, 2010
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this. societal norms.I seen people who follow social norms, and been advising me to do so as well. but when I go to their house and see them frustrated with their children, i am wondering is it worth it.
i seen people who love children, saints.
i also seen a friend raising child because she don't want to become lonely when they are old. so she tried 3 times IVF in 40s, it cost her about 50k. her quality of living dropped quite drastically. her husband not supportive of having children, thus not very proactive in child issues, she face it alone although unhappy. she is tied to having to work for the next 20 years to support her child studies, and because she drained quite a lot of savings in IVF. now her child every night cry, she has to wake up comfort the child, causing sleep disturbance in her, everyday looking tired, she also hires a maid for her child. her kid becomes closer to everyone but not her because her time spent on working. is it worth it?
my ex coll this woman who seemed to think every woman MUST have at least 2 kids, as if then a woman's job is complete (utter bull, of course). she even commented that some child-free couple friends that i have, may be so because they "can't give birth, you'll never know". it's like in her brain it's all about women must give birth.
ironic thing is, she was pregnant and once she had to bring her older child out, AND her husband said he was "too tired" to ferry them to and from a dinner place, something like 15-20 mins drive at most.
do until so tired, for wad sia? her husband also not supportive what.
on another note, another friend of mine gave birth to 2 kids but now facing dilemma of not being able to find childcare (cos mother & MIL can't take care fulltime). and again, husband is not supportive.
seriously don't understand why suffer to bring kids into the world, and cause them to suffer too.