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any parents here? your parents got refuse to take care of your baby/child?

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Old 01-01-2018, 12:25 PM   #196
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Hi ts , I am a silent reader for years and decided to create an account to share with you my mothering journey for the past 5 years. I have NO HELP from my in-laws and also from my own parents. My in-laws were too old and gets tired really easily so we canít force them. My mom, although capable to look after an infant , refused to look after my baby saying itís too tough for her and she will not have the freedom to go out as and when she wants with a baby. I placed my baby in an infant care then but she will fall sick EVERY week. And I gotto take at least 3 days of urgent leave to look after her every 2 weeks. Needless to say, my job suffered. I decided to quite my job to look after my baby because , to sacrifice my baby or myself- the answer is very clear. I adjusted my lifestyle because our family became single income. Even till now , I hardly go out with my friends because our parents were unable to babysit our daughter and I must be real to toy, there were also times when I envied my friends having help from parents and seem to have so much freedom. But you know what , my Daughter is very very attached to me as a result of me unable to outsource the babysitting. So I feel my sacrifices were worthwhile, this phase is only TEMPORARY. I will have my freedom back when she goes to secondary school and prefers to hang out with her friends haha. Children are a gift and not a burden and I hope your wife and you are able to work Sth out

Oh on a side note , maybe itís a blessing in disguise that your parents arenít able to help with your baby. Your wifeís methods and your momís methods would differ and you will be stuck in the middle so often with their difference in bringing up the baby
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Old 01-01-2018, 01:40 PM   #197
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.... That means giving up stuff - giving up going for holidays till years later. Giving up alone time between you and your waifu. You cannot assume parents will take care of your baby even if they have promised so. They have zero obligations to do that you know? Any plans you made should take into account "what if they don't want to help take care then what's plan B?".

.....
I think most couples take it for granted that parents are obliged to help and when the parents decided otherwise, they are lost and bitter.

TS needs to take into the psychological effect it has on his parents taking care of the kid while he and the wife goes on a holiday.

There was once my sibling and I decided to take parents out for dinner at a nice restaurant together with the nieces and nephews. They didn't want to go and preferred to stay in, so we thought to leave the kids at home having them to take care of the kids so that my siblings and I can catch up in peace. The parents suddenly decided that they want in for the dinner and openly admitted that they don't feel good psychologically having us going out to have a good time and then leave the kids behind to them.

It was almost "too cute" and they are only human.

TS - when was the last time you took your parents out or took them on a holiday ?
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Old 01-01-2018, 02:04 PM   #198
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Children are a gift and not a burden.

This is fate. God will
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Old 01-01-2018, 02:12 PM   #199
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Children are a gift and not a burden.

This is fate. God will
Sure. Say that to the ones who have no proper family planning and foresight. I'm sure they would be delighted at your response.
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Old 01-01-2018, 02:19 PM   #200
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Your baby you take care. If your parents help it is a bonus.

I know of a case where the baby died due to accident while under the care of grand parents......yes grand parents are old and things can go wrong...

while my wife was pregnant, my parents who were wishing for a grandchild all the while said they were willing to take care of the baby. I said ok, thinking that grandparents look after baby is better than a maid.

fast forward, baby is now nearly 3 months old. baby has been taken care of by confinement lady in first month. and second month by my wife, while my parents came at times in the day to play with him.

then this week, my wife and I took 2 days break to go for a short trip nearby. When I was back, my parents say they cannot look after him. He said he cries every few hours for milk and the crying at night was especially difficult. I mean that's what babies do. Anyone can play with the baby, but to change his diapers, rock him to sleep, and feed him is different issue.

so end up now, they told me to go hire a maid when my wife go back work, and they will just pop by at times to check how it goes.

I have mixed feelings about this. if I knew at the start that they are not going to take care of him, I would have hired a maid, but now I am scrambling to find one before my wife go back to work. also, my parents are not doing anything, not working, just staying at home watch tv, or go market or go out. they are free to live their lives that way, but somehow I just feel abit disappointed and abit jealous that some friends of mine have their parents looking after their children for them.

anyone here also like that?
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Old 01-01-2018, 02:34 PM   #201
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If he goes to parenting forum might have better suggestion than getting bash here . Lol
precisely. why he came to a forum full of buibui foreveralone losers is beyond moi comprehension.
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Old 01-01-2018, 03:18 PM   #202
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Without proper, next time who bring to holiday?
Sure. Say that to the ones who have no proper family planning and foresight. I'm sure they would be delighted at your response.
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Old 01-01-2018, 03:27 PM   #203
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Your baby you take care. If your parents help it is a bonus.

I know of a case where the baby died due to accident while under the care of grand parents......yes grand parents are old and things can go wrong...
Can share the news article? Was it reported ?
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Old 01-01-2018, 04:26 PM   #204
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Can share the news article? Was it reported ?
Recent there is a case bb got scalded by hot water. Grandma accidently toppled the kettle or pan.
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Old 02-01-2018, 05:00 PM   #205
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I read carefully a bit then i realize you and your wife go short trip when the baby only 3 months old.

Sorry to say, lost all respect for you as parents. My wife and are around every single day til my first child was at least 1 year old, when he start sleeping through the night. We take turns to take care of him and changing diapers every 2 hour intervals for the first almost 7-8 months. Same thing for my 2nd.

Your child is not your pet. He/she is your lifelong responsibility, same way your parents took care of you when you still shitting your diapers every 2-3 hours. Your holidays can wait, dont be an entitled piece of ****.
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Old 02-01-2018, 05:21 PM   #206
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self entitled sinkie couple spotted
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Old 02-01-2018, 05:27 PM   #207
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TS run road liao la, getting bashed here and there. Lol..
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Old 03-01-2018, 01:50 PM   #208
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It's your Baby! It's your Responsibility!

It's your Baby! It's your Responsibility!
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Old 09-01-2018, 04:22 PM   #209
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It's your Baby! It's your Responsibility!
Agree... Grandparents should be free to enjoy life, not raise another kid, I feel.
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