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any parents here? your parents got refuse to take care of your baby/child?

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Old 30-12-2017, 09:50 PM   #76
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First of all, as a disclaimer, both my parents and in law are either too old or too with their own lives to look after a kid for even 8 hrs aday.

That said. Sounds like u had a kid on the grounds of what ur parents said.
I wld advise u not to. Its ur life, your family and your child. Your name is on his/her birth cert. Grandparents are there to play, tickle and enjoy their company.

So decide on whats best for your child, your family, your life. Sure its hard.... no one said anythibg in life is easy, but dont give away your right as a parent on the premise of someone else promisig you that they can make it easier on you.

Yeah. Now running, chasing for a miad, training....OmG Omg... i know. I been there and still there. Option is infant care. A compromise perhaps... but what in life is not?

On the flip side... be glad that grand parents dont get involved in your kids upbringing. Dont get me wrong.. but bringing up a kid.... grandparents do a **** job.... parents shld do this role.
Geandparents are there to play, and enjoy them.

Thats my stand. Hope u take it in theright way.

Take it easy dad.... its a never ending iteration of decisions and re-decisions... compromises and commitments.
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Old 30-12-2017, 10:39 PM   #77
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First of all, as a disclaimer, both my parents and in law are either too old or too with their own lives to look after a kid for even 8 hrs aday.

That said. Sounds like u had a kid on the grounds of what ur parents said.
I wld advise u not to. Its ur life, your family and your child. Your name is on his/her birth cert. Grandparents are there to play, tickle and enjoy their company.

So decide on whats best for your child, your family, your life. Sure its hard.... no one said anythibg in life is easy, but dont give away your right as a parent on the premise of someone else promisig you that they can make it easier on you.

Yeah. Now running, chasing for a miad, training....OmG Omg... i know. I been there and still there. Option is infant care. A compromise perhaps... but what in life is not?

On the flip side... be glad that grand parents dont get involved in your kids upbringing. Dont get me wrong.. but bringing up a kid.... grandparents do a **** job.... parents shld do this role.
Geandparents are there to play, and enjoy them.

Thats my stand. Hope u take it in theright way.

Take it easy dad.... its a never ending iteration of decisions and re-decisions... compromises and commitments.
Agreed.....
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Old 30-12-2017, 10:41 PM   #78
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while my wife was pregnant, my parents who were wishing for a grandchild all the while said they were willing to take care of the baby. I said ok, thinking that grandparents look after baby is better than a maid.

fast forward, baby is now nearly 3 months old. baby has been taken care of by confinement lady in first month. and second month by my wife, while my parents came at times in the day to play with him.

then this week, my wife and I took 2 days break to go for a short trip nearby. When I was back, my parents say they cannot look after him. He said he cries every few hours for milk and the crying at night was especially difficult. I mean that's what babies do. Anyone can play with the baby, but to change his diapers, rock him to sleep, and feed him is different issue.

so end up now, they told me to go hire a maid when my wife go back work, and they will just pop by at times to check how it goes.

I have mixed feelings about this. if I knew at the start that they are not going to take care of him, I would have hired a maid, but now I am scrambling to find one before my wife go back to work. also, my parents are not doing anything, not working, just staying at home watch tv, or go market or go out. they are free to live their lives that way, but somehow I just feel abit disappointed and abit jealous that some friends of mine have their parents looking after their children for them.

anyone here also like that?
Know how to enjoy and fk till song song. Dunno how to take care of own child. Not happy go throw him away la
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Old 30-12-2017, 10:49 PM   #79
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while my wife was pregnant, my parents who were wishing for a grandchild all the while said they were willing to take care of the baby. I said ok, thinking that grandparents look after baby is better than a maid.

fast forward, baby is now nearly 3 months old. baby has been taken care of by confinement lady in first month. and second month by my wife, while my parents came at times in the day to play with him.

then this week, my wife and I took 2 days break to go for a short trip nearby. When I was back, my parents say they cannot look after him. He said he cries every few hours for milk and the crying at night was especially difficult. I mean that's what babies do. Anyone can play with the baby, but to change his diapers, rock him to sleep, and feed him is different issue.

so end up now, they told me to go hire a maid when my wife go back work, and they will just pop by at times to check how it goes.

I have mixed feelings about this. if I knew at the start that they are not going to take care of him, I would have hired a maid, but now I am scrambling to find one before my wife go back to work. also, my parents are not doing anything, not working, just staying at home watch tv, or go market or go out. they are free to live their lives that way, but somehow I just feel abit disappointed and abit jealous that some friends of mine have their parents looking after their children for them.

anyone here also like that?
Every family is different. Thankfully, my in laws are happily helping to care for my child... Can feel for your problem. When mine was 2 months old, that's the toughest time and thankfully we are through that thanks to my in law.

But if you think about it, those mid night feeding, evening crankiness are really not something everyone can take, even maids. Only the love of parents or grandparents can overcome the stresses brought by new borns. So, if your parents felt it's too much for them, too bad for you. Quickly look for a maid.
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Old 30-12-2017, 11:45 PM   #80
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Maybe hire a maid to help out your parents in taking care of baby during daytime. Seems they are not young at 60+. At least they can help to monitor the maid to not do funny things.

We sleep with our baby at night. Very Tiring as both parents have work the next day. Just keep in mind that this phase too shall pass. The nights are long but the years are short. It would get better when your boy gets older and sleep in longer intervals. Jiayou!
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Old 31-12-2017, 12:02 AM   #81
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Parents oredi how old liao still need to take care of chiur baby. Chiur how old liao can't take care of own kid. Even they offer we iso must 自动abit. Quickly relief the burden bcos ish urs to start wif..some more go holiday. Prolly TL chiur so thoughtless, forgot baby ish u make one, so turn decision in case chiur dump baby & take off again. Hv baby ish no holiday, chiur realli ish too much liao
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Old 31-12-2017, 12:07 AM   #82
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night time is e most xiong la. and babies peak in terms of crying during 8th to 12th week.

think it's too much to leave ur kid with them for 2 weeks.
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Old 31-12-2017, 12:11 AM   #83
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Actually quite tough. I have a friend just got married. Both their parents left liao. So they just got a baby. Wife take care baby at home, then my friend, wake up at 7am, go work + fight ot and reach home around 10+ in the night. Whole week never see baby awake before.

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Tell your friend be careful and try to be home earlier...

if not...wife also dun have liao.
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Old 31-12-2017, 12:22 AM   #84
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I got my in laws and maid to help out with 2 kids. Once awhile sneak out with ah lao to watch movie and pak tor. haha
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Old 31-12-2017, 12:30 AM   #85
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My story is both sides fighting to take care of my son...

My wife always let her mum aka 外婆 take care whereas my mum aka 阿嬤 only see her grandson once every month and she is very sad...

My wife hate my mum, every thing my mum said or do, she buay song but everything her mum do is ok...

Really is FML...
In All the couples i have seen only the wife's parents take care of their kids. The husband can only bring his child to visit his own parents about a month or worse ars once a year only
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Old 31-12-2017, 01:15 AM   #86
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I think mine mum most extreme. When wife preg she say no need to hire confinement nanny. She would help look after baby. Lucky I still go ahead to get a nanny as my wife was still can't walk properly for 2 weeks after giving birth.

After giving birth to her grand child , she ask my dad n my brother not to touch my baby till after 1st month as it's consider dirty.

Wah lan... from tat moment I gave up on my mum to look after my baby.

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Old 31-12-2017, 01:32 AM   #87
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In All the couples i have seen only the wife's parents take care of their kids. The husband can only bring his child to visit his own parents about a month or worse ars once a year only
my friend fb, his young kids photos only show with his in-law parents side, be it b'day celebration, outing, oversea trip, CNY etc~ i hv yet to see his kids with his own parent side~
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Old 31-12-2017, 01:38 AM   #88
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seems like TS got played out by his parents at the last minute, when his mom realized that she is not up to the task after all.

TS, bo bian...bite the bullet and put IFC. I wish you best of luck finding one at such short notice.

ps; i havent been on ANY trip with my wife since my kids were born. My sibling has been on several couple trips, throwing their kid to my parents. Haiz. sometimes life doesnt seem fair but we can't keep fighting the injustice. Just focus on energy on overcoming the problem. Jiayou!
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Old 31-12-2017, 01:38 AM   #89
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TS,out of my curiosity asking, if your parents had been upfront telling you that they wouldn't take care of your baby, would you still have one?
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Old 31-12-2017, 01:49 AM   #90
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while my wife was pregnant, my parents who were wishing for a grandchild all the while said they were willing to take care of the baby. I said ok, thinking that grandparents look after baby is better than a maid.

fast forward, baby is now nearly 3 months old. baby has been taken care of by confinement lady in first month. and second month by my wife, while my parents came at times in the day to play with him.

then this week, my wife and I took 2 days break to go for a short trip nearby. When I was back, my parents say they cannot look after him. He said he cries every few hours for milk and the crying at night was especially difficult. I mean that's what babies do. Anyone can play with the baby, but to change his diapers, rock him to sleep, and feed him is different issue.

so end up now, they told me to go hire a maid when my wife go back work, and they will just pop by at times to check how it goes.

I have mixed feelings about this. if I knew at the start that they are not going to take care of him, I would have hired a maid, but now I am scrambling to find one before my wife go back to work. also, my parents are not doing anything, not working, just staying at home watch tv, or go market or go out. they are free to live their lives that way, but somehow I just feel abit disappointed and abit jealous that some friends of mine have their parents looking after their children for them.

anyone here also like that?

dont take things for granted lah

your parents cannot tahan your baby, what you want to do

in the end it's the parents' responsibility. not the old folks.
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