Roid Rage
Master Member
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2011
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Okay, sit down and let me tell you the story of how I became the king of humjibeng and, eventually, a conglomerate of big cannons..
It all started one fine day when I was munching on some humjibeng you know, those soft yet crispy, salty, addictive snacks that make you want to eat more even though you know it’s unhealthy. So, I thought to myself, “Aiyo, if I’m so crazy about this, maybe the whole world will be crazy about it too!” And that’s when the light bulb went off: humjibeng empire time!
I started small.. Just selling humjibeng under my hdb, you know, typical void deck style. Mata come I fold my mat and run type. But the response? Wah, it was like I discovered a gold mine. Everyone was like, “Eh, this one better than Mr Donut!” Soon, all the aunties and uncles and xmm were hooked and before I knew it, I was selling humjibeng all over Singapore. Wah, like that already big business, right?
But I’m no small-time player lor. One day, I was talking to my cousin in Lagos, (he used to work in china but his boss 朱一旦sent him there, but again that’s another story for another day) and he said, “Eh bro, you know, here in Africa, we don’t even know what ishumjibeng!” And I was like, “What?!” So, I packed my bags, took a ship over to Africa, and the rest is history. Humjibeng became so famous, I had presence in over 84 African countries! From Lagos to Nairobi, people were going crazy for my soft, delicious, scrumptious snack. My business expanded faster than a Melacca’s rice ball!
Then, I thought, “Aiyo, why stop at humjibeng? I already made it big, might as well diversify a bit right.” So, guess what I did? I decided to sell big cannons. Don’t ask me why , I was just thinking: If I can sell snacks, surely I can sell something exciting, right? And what’s more exciting than a big cannon?
Soon, I was selling these giant cannons everywhere big, shiny, powerful. People were like, “Wah, this cannon so cool, I want one for my HDB corridor!” It was like humjibeng and cannon fever, combined.
But then, I had this genius idea let’s put one cannon as a monument in Sentosa. Yes, you heard right. I told my team, “Eh, we got to make history. People need to come see my cannon.” So, they rolled it in and boom! There it was, a gigantic cannon in the middle of Sentosa, with tourists taking photos like it’s the next Big Ben or something.
Now, I AM LEGEND . Not only am I the humjibeng king, but I also have a cannon museum. Tourists flock to Singapore, not just for the Marina Bay Sands or Gardens by the Bay, but to snap selfies with my monument cannon. I’m like the Elon Musk of snacks and cannons, just more local flavour.
Today, I’m sipping coconut water on my yacht, eating humjibeng, surfing edmw and laughing because I know no matter what, no one can top my Snack & Cannon empire. Who would’ve thought, right? From humble humjibeng to big cannons, and now I'm an international business mogul. So, if you ever see a cannon in Sentosa, just remember one thing: I started with snacks, and now I’ve conquered the world.
Btw, this isn't a AMA thread. Don't ask me anything, or even something. Like my awesome rich cryto bro Kwon Do: "I dont debate the poor"
p/S: credits to the second most successful business man on edmw , mr @HumJiBeng
It all started one fine day when I was munching on some humjibeng you know, those soft yet crispy, salty, addictive snacks that make you want to eat more even though you know it’s unhealthy. So, I thought to myself, “Aiyo, if I’m so crazy about this, maybe the whole world will be crazy about it too!” And that’s when the light bulb went off: humjibeng empire time!
I started small.. Just selling humjibeng under my hdb, you know, typical void deck style. Mata come I fold my mat and run type. But the response? Wah, it was like I discovered a gold mine. Everyone was like, “Eh, this one better than Mr Donut!” Soon, all the aunties and uncles and xmm were hooked and before I knew it, I was selling humjibeng all over Singapore. Wah, like that already big business, right?
But I’m no small-time player lor. One day, I was talking to my cousin in Lagos, (he used to work in china but his boss 朱一旦sent him there, but again that’s another story for another day) and he said, “Eh bro, you know, here in Africa, we don’t even know what ishumjibeng!” And I was like, “What?!” So, I packed my bags, took a ship over to Africa, and the rest is history. Humjibeng became so famous, I had presence in over 84 African countries! From Lagos to Nairobi, people were going crazy for my soft, delicious, scrumptious snack. My business expanded faster than a Melacca’s rice ball!
Then, I thought, “Aiyo, why stop at humjibeng? I already made it big, might as well diversify a bit right.” So, guess what I did? I decided to sell big cannons. Don’t ask me why , I was just thinking: If I can sell snacks, surely I can sell something exciting, right? And what’s more exciting than a big cannon?
Soon, I was selling these giant cannons everywhere big, shiny, powerful. People were like, “Wah, this cannon so cool, I want one for my HDB corridor!” It was like humjibeng and cannon fever, combined.
But then, I had this genius idea let’s put one cannon as a monument in Sentosa. Yes, you heard right. I told my team, “Eh, we got to make history. People need to come see my cannon.” So, they rolled it in and boom! There it was, a gigantic cannon in the middle of Sentosa, with tourists taking photos like it’s the next Big Ben or something.
Now, I AM LEGEND . Not only am I the humjibeng king, but I also have a cannon museum. Tourists flock to Singapore, not just for the Marina Bay Sands or Gardens by the Bay, but to snap selfies with my monument cannon. I’m like the Elon Musk of snacks and cannons, just more local flavour.
Today, I’m sipping coconut water on my yacht, eating humjibeng, surfing edmw and laughing because I know no matter what, no one can top my Snack & Cannon empire. Who would’ve thought, right? From humble humjibeng to big cannons, and now I'm an international business mogul. So, if you ever see a cannon in Sentosa, just remember one thing: I started with snacks, and now I’ve conquered the world.
Btw, this isn't a AMA thread. Don't ask me anything, or even something. Like my awesome rich cryto bro Kwon Do: "I dont debate the poor"
p/S: credits to the second most successful business man on edmw , mr @HumJiBeng
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