[Infertility] Very demoralized seeking solace here

[retrovox]

i myself have 2 kids, but if me or wife is infertile, i wouldnt be "hurting deeply". I will take it in my stride, enjoy the sex life. Its nothing to be ashamed or sad over.

Only those who have kids will know the sacrifice you make in the early years of the child and the struggle is real. Sometimes i really envy those that are without kids...they have the freedom to do anything.

The pain of not having children far exceeds the pain of having to maintain them. So, parents went for the path of least resistance, not knowing that anything in this world DOES NOT have happiness as an intrinsic quality. People have been indoctrinated to think that any couple must have children in order to be seen as normal in our society. Our association with ignoble people throughout our lives has a huge influence over our lifestyle. Ignoble people indoctrinated us that if we want to be happy, we need to have a problem. Then, they will recommend us a set of tools to help us RELIEVE ourselves from suffering. Try scratching on a part of your skin where there is no sore. Not shiok, right? So, in order to feel shiok when you scratch, you need to have a sore! So, ignoble people will sell us an idea that a sore is good for us and we willingly buy that idea. Have we taken the trouble to check the qualifications of those people who taught us the way to happiness? Or do we take their words as the gospel truth? Our grandparents and parents do not know any better because they learned from ignoble association. It's literally the case of the blind leading the blind. Shocking, but this is the truth. The more shocking thing is, the parents will teach their children the same thing just like how their parents had taught them. I dare say most parents are actually bestowing curses onto their children without them knowing.

 

[bluethesky]

Very demoralized seeking solace here


Dear All,

Posting my thread here as the audience is mature and some may even go through the pain and suffering like us.


About us.

A couple close to 40, wife few years old than me.

Married for 7 years and still trying a baby.

Did IUI, failed

Wife had miscarriage 9 weeks this via natural

The first IVF cycle did fresh at KKH, failed

Then we try frozen at KKH, failed

Just completed her second IVF eggs retrieval.

My wife had mild OHSS, was suffering, too unwell to do the implant, earliest also 2 months later.


Just this month had few people close to me all having good news.

1. Cousin had a second kid, son.
2. Cousin had 5th kid.
3. Best Friend became a father today

Everyone having good news except us. Am feeling very demoralized:

What we already did

• Acupuncture
• TCM herbs
• House fengshui seen x2.
• Went Catholic Church
• Went Shuang Lin Temple at Toa Payoh
• Went Guan Yin Temple
• Went some master to appease ancestors, wishing for good luck

My wife still determined. However, I am losing hope due to our age and the amount of money spent and time taken. Also, the pain she has to endure when preparing egg retrieval needs to self jab. We are just middle-income earners, not holding senior positions in our job.

After the failed first cycle frozen cycle she mentioned adoption. I am strongly reluctant, rather be childless than adopt. She says wants a girl to look after us when we old. My wife is a single kid, parents are overseas. Here only a handful of friends and colleagues. Doesn't socialize a lot due to us being childless.

Am now also afraid to go friend's gathering, CNY, baby 1 month/ 1 year ...

Very risky to think children will after old parents, more hope more disappointments. Take good care of yourselves first and prepare for retirement is more important.

 

[icreatearainbow]

Very demoralized seeking solace here


Dear All,

Posting my thread here as the audience is mature and some may even go through the pain and suffering like us.


About us.

A couple close to 40, wife few years old than me.

Married for 7 years and still trying a baby.

Did IUI, failed

Wife had miscarriage 9 weeks this via natural

The first IVF cycle did fresh at KKH, failed

Then we try frozen at KKH, failed

Just completed her second IVF eggs retrieval.

My wife had mild OHSS, was suffering, too unwell to do the implant, earliest also 2 months later.


Just this month had few people close to me all having good news.

1. Cousin had a second kid, son.
2. Cousin had 5th kid.
3. Best Friend became a father today

Everyone having good news except us. Am feeling very demoralized:

What we already did

• Acupuncture
• TCM herbs
• House fengshui seen x2.
• Went Catholic Church
• Went Shuang Lin Temple at Toa Payoh
• Went Guan Yin Temple
• Went some master to appease ancestors, wishing for good luck

My wife still determined. However, I am losing hope due to our age and the amount of money spent and time taken. Also, the pain she has to endure when preparing egg retrieval needs to self jab. We are just middle-income earners, not holding senior positions in our job.

After the failed first cycle frozen cycle she mentioned adoption. I am strongly reluctant, rather be childless than adopt. She says wants a girl to look after us when we old. My wife is a single kid, parents are overseas. Here only a handful of friends and colleagues. Doesn't socialize a lot due to us being childless.

Am now also afraid to go friend's gathering, CNY, baby 1 month/ 1 year ...

Ur wife shouldn’t expect the child to take care of her. Own life own responsibility. Having a kid is about sacrificial love from parent to child, but the kid’s responsibility is for her own life and her own child and not her parent’s life

also why u don’t want adoption? Now fostering and adoption very common. This works so many humans already….. I think both of u may not be ready to be parents yet, why be parents when u see ur children as an investment?

 

[nats7798]

bro, i understand how u feel, married 8 years and just got a newborn lately

dont be stressed..

for ur next ivf cycle. after the embryo transfer, try to get ur wife to rest on bed with minimal movement for 2 weeks.

i believe the doctors plays a part.. strongly recommend KKH's Sadhana Nadarajah

u can PM me if u need to talk.. all the very best!

 

[iammitziteng]

Don't be stressed! Perhaps, it's not your time yet. I have a few friends who were able to conceived until after past 10 years or so. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

I had PCOS and had a hard time conceiving too. My OB told me may never conceive and told me to look for fertility specialist but like you, we're not rich too so I just did my own research and found that ceylon cinnamon helps in managing PCOS. I bought this supplement from Amazon and within a month, I was pregnant. I am not sure if it's that or if it's placebo effect but sometimes. All you need is time and patience.

Besides, you don't need kids to be a complete family but if your reason for having kids is for someone to look after you guys when you are old, isn't that a bit selfish? You have kids because you want to take care of them and not because you want them to take care of you when you are older. I don't think it's fair for them lah that you expect them to take of you when they're in their 20s. They should be free to live their lives and chase their dreams.

There are a lot of kids who are looking for people to love them. I would strongly reconsider adoption if you are yearning for children. It doesn't make you less of parent. In fact, it makes it more admirable. It takes a lot for somebody who love and care for another person's child.

 

[iammitziteng]

Ur cousin just got baby right? Got 满月 anot? If yes can get red eggs from them and eat.

and for me, I went to ask my parents who went to Japan to get an omamori (you know those good luck charms) for pregnancy and put it next to my bed. I got pregnant in a month or so. Its still at my bedside lol.

Oh I got this too when I went to Japan in 2016 as a joke. I really didn't think or expect it to work but 2017, I was pregnant and on a trip back to Japan!