Is it better to find a partner who have completely different strengths from you so that both make a team?

Taloona

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It is more important that your values align, for example:
*1. Do you value money/pride more than relationships? If you have to make a decision where money/pride and relationship come into the picture, which will you choose?
*2. Do you value honesty and integrity? Do you believe that a spouse has to remain faithful to his or her spouse for as long as they remain married to each other? This will have a bearing on your commitment to the marriage.

For other things, such as parenting skills or communication skills, the couple can go and read up and learn, but values are ingrained in a person and difficult to change.

For point #2, I am particularly concerned to read so many comments here (especially from men) that it is ok for men to cheat outside as long as they "don't bring the cow home" because after all, in the animal kingdom, it is common for the males to spread his seeds far and wide (thanks for comparing humans to animals). Adultery in a marriage has devasting consequences in a marriage, to the spouse betrayed and the children who are hurt.
 

mikhail_k

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finding partner not the same as finding raid party for mmo or moba lineup, no hard and fast rule
 

oncall-engineer

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It is more important that your values align, for example:
*1. Do you value money/pride more than relationships? If you have to make a decision where money/pride and relationship come into the picture, which will you choose?
*2. Do you value honesty and integrity? Do you believe that a spouse has to remain faithful to his or her spouse for as long as they remain married to each other? This will have a bearing on your commitment to the marriage.

For other things, such as parenting skills or communication skills, the couple can go and read up and learn, but values are ingrained in a person and difficult to change.

For point #2, I am particularly concerned to read so many comments here (especially from men) that it is ok for men to cheat outside as long as they "don't bring the cow home" because after all, in the animal kingdom, it is common for the males to spread his seeds far and wide (thanks for comparing humans to animals). Adultery in a marriage has devasting consequences in a marriage, to the spouse betrayed and the children who are hurt.

Curious, is jerking off considered point 2 too?
 

AndroidComa

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Just wondering nia.

for example, you are jiak potato type. Then your wife is speak Chinese type.

maybe your EQ is sibei low very direct, but her EQ is really power, no war, know how to make everyone happy diplomatically.

maybe you are really chill with your kids but wife is discipline master, whack their tuition etc.
birds of the same kind flock tgt
so you better not look within your circle of friends if you want that
 

mikhail_k

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Always thought that it’s like dota. Cannot all carry, all strength or all wanna chiong middle lane.
marriage if 2 core lineup, they farm well, can always hire a support (maid), dota cannot do that, you are stuck with 4 other monkeys permanently until throne is down
 

Taloona

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Curious, is jerking off considered point 2 too?
Are you talking about a sexless marriage? This is a symptom of deeper issues in a marriage. Both parties should see a marriage counsellor.

If all attempts fail and the marriage cannot be repaired, better to part ways.
 

tomsss

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meaning to say, find the one that is the total opposite of you ah

yeah, can, possible.... but both of you still need that one thing in common. that feeling for each other.

then also need another thing is the understanding of the other party is totally the opposite of yourself.

one more thing is both also must have the resilience to tahan each other's natural behavior and antics and keep telling yourself that you have to put yourself in their shoes and not always get your way



actually after all those points, it's not possible la. wah liew why make your life so difficult and complicated
 

standarture

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This is why people remain single. Must be willing to make compromises to find a partner. Otherwise you will wait forever.
 

Neyney

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Me and moi waifu both do-er. We do us. My kkj purrrfectly complements her mm ryke a mould.
 

Neyney

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marriage if 2 core lineup, they farm well, can always hire a support (maid), dota cannot do that, you are stuck with 4 other monkeys permanently until throne is down
OR.... you carry all 4 monkeys like a good core will do and win bragging rights post game. 你气不气?
 

katenash

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It is more important that your values align, for example:
*1. Do you value money/pride more than relationships? If you have to make a decision where money/pride and relationship come into the picture, which will you choose?
*2. Do you value honesty and integrity? Do you believe that a spouse has to remain faithful to his or her spouse for as long as they remain married to each other? This will have a bearing on your commitment to the marriage.

For other things, such as parenting skills or communication skills, the couple can go and read up and learn, but values are ingrained in a person and difficult to change.

For point #2, I am particularly concerned to read so many comments here (especially from men) that it is ok for men to cheat outside as long as they "don't bring the cow home" because after all, in the animal kingdom, it is common for the males to spread his seeds far and wide (thanks for comparing humans to animals). Adultery in a marriage has devasting consequences in a marriage, to the spouse betrayed and the children who are hurt.
But before marriage, you can say until your values all aligned. After marriage, values all opposite liao you also cannot do anything.

Eg. Before marriage, tell you faithfulness and honesty are super important. After marriage, go eat outside and tell you you marry chicken must follow chicken, marry dog must marry dog! Then you how? Divorce after 3 days meh?
 

Taloona

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But before marriage, you can say until your values all aligned. After marriage, values all opposite liao you also cannot do anything.

Eg. Before marriage, tell you faithfulness and honesty are super important. After marriage, go eat outside and tell you you marry chicken must follow chicken, marry dog must marry dog! Then you how? Divorce after 3 days meh

While dating, instead of spending time groping each other, get to know your partner on a deeper level. How does he or she treat service staff or those earning low wages and senior folks? Get to know his or her family because they will be an important part of your future life together. What is his or her spending habits like? Is he or she easily jealous and need to know your movement every hour? When you both quarrel, how is it resolved? Do you have to give in all the time? What is he or she passionate about? Does he or she volunteer for a cause? Actions speak louder than words. Usually, there are warning signs but many think they can change a person after marriage.
 
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