Hi all,
I'm asking this because a friend of mine is currently in the never-ending situation will UML. I did not seek her consent before this post and if she knows about it, she probably will hate me for life.
I have read most of the thread here and have seen alot of good advices in how to stop this vicious cycle. However my friend situation is a bit tricky in my opinion. So before any of you decided to flame my friend, I hope you could read the situation and provide the option for her consideration. It started of like this.
Few years ago, she acted as a guarantor for a very good friend of her. Being naive and trustworthy of her friend, she agreed to do so.
However her so called good friend bailed out on her and run away. So under the threat of the UML, she started paying for her friend. While I'm not sure how much was the initate amount, I suspected it was close to 5k before interest kicks in.
So after some time, being a mother of 2 young kids where majority of the family expenses falls on her shoulder, she knew she could not continue afford to pay anymore as the snowballing effect started to get crazy. Now if you asked why the husband didn't help out on the family expenses, apparently the husband doesn't really care about the family and his contributions is pretty non existence. What she said was the husband simply does a "he contributes 100 but will ask 200 in return"
And so the ULM told her to be their runner by providing her bank account to them. She doesn't engage in these horror O$P$ activity. And yes out of desperation, she did. I only learned about that after she confided to me one day few years ago but it was too late, as she had taken up the role. However that was few years ago and she has since stopped helping the ULM after doing that for few months but is still continue to pay them date.
And fast forward, just recently she asked me to help her financially and that's why I learned the full story happened thereafter. As she was struggling to meet months end for her family, and when she could not reply the weekly sum, she went ahead to borrow another loan from the same UML just to pay back to them (yes I know its dumb) and right now she is in debt around 5 figures.
After hearing her story I decided to google and found this thread which I have read most of the reply since yesterday. I advised her to follow the the advice here that is to make a police report, change all contact number, installation of CCTVs etc. However she told me she doesn't want to make a police report due to the following reasons
1. Because she used to be a runner for UML, she fears that this dark history will lead her in jail and no one will be around for her daughters as her husband doesn't really provide the financial to the family. Her daughters are also much closer to my friend.
2. I learned that she is planning to go through a divorce procedure with her husband in two years. She fears that this will implicate the custody of her daughters. She really loves them alot to the extend of getting loan from UML
In view of the above, my question is, should I manage to convince her to make a report, will her dark history comes back and haunt her in particular on point 1? I really do not want to see her continue suffering from all these anymore, in fact I'm willing to help her at least half of her weekly payment. But as we all know as long as you are estranged with UML, the nightmare will never end. So i really want to put a stop for her. I have also thought of calling the x ah long hotline on behalf of her, but I'm not too sure if it would be appropriate since I'm concerned of the point 1 as well. But please reassue she is no longer engage in these activities since it ended few years ago.
hence I am looking for some solid advice especially from people who had a similar history as my friend.
Much appreciated to all.