Q for guys who are married

o blong

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But they won’t choose me :(


Only means one thing

Focus on urself first.
ofcourse everyone wants a young ,smart , big tit , feminine , virgin girl la (ideally)

but in the real world, how many of such women are there?


U say like that obviously priorities wrong liao

Good iq + good eq + good upbringing.. Is top priority

Those pts u mentioned are lower priority. But this one will take years for most guys to wake up idea

Thats why got unlimited gumg0ng simps around
 

straweffigy

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Anyway a bit side track from this thread, there is something called attachment theory which classifies each of us into a few attachment styles, namely Secure, Anxious, Avoidant and Anxious-Avoidant. For single guys reading here, please if possible, avoid getting together with girls with Avoidant or Anxious-Avoidant because your love life will likely get fked. Basically, the Secure one is the one whom once attached, won't think about going for other choices unless you screw up, the Anxious one can be thought as the needy personality, constantly overthinking about the partner, the Avoidant is the one who always complain cannot find the right partner despite having so many choices, and last the Anxious-Avoidant is like rubber band, wanting the partner when thought the partner far from reach but later on distance away from the partner when he/she comes too close.

No need to analyze and dissect so much.

You can make her laugh, make time flies, make her don't vomit at your appearance = You passed and you will get in her skirt

You live together, unearth each other bad habits, seek to improve, open communications, willing to compromise = Lasting relationship
 

xiaosinsinful

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Only means one thing

Focus on urself first.


U say like that obviously priorities wrong liao

Good iq + good eq + good upbringing.. Is top priority

Those pts u mentioned are lower priority. But this one will take years for most guys to wake up idea

Thats why got unlimited gumg0ng simps around
thats not my point at all.

my point is obviously everyone wants to marry their ideal partner Prince/princess Charming(with all the attractive attributes) , but in reality how many of these prince/princess charming are there?

also everyone has different priorities, what makes your priorities “correct” and other people priorities “wrong”?
I say chicken rice is the best food and you are telling me that I’m wrong and laksa is the best and everyone should just eat laksa? :rolleyes:
 

o blong

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My wife and my mindset is: You and me against the world

It feels good to know she has my back, no matter how against the odds.

We are those kind lovely dovely even after we've been tgt very long. We participate actively and wholeheartedly in each other's daily lives. Total 13 years including 5 years married, so far so good.

(Not showing off, just wanna show people that true, unconditional, sustainable love is possible, though it requires a lot of effort)


Woah.. Sounds just like my situation. Neither of us ever claims to have contributed more to the relationship, even if it is rarely 50/50 in many areas.. It is a team mindset
 

straweffigy

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my point is obviously everyone wants to marry their ideal partner Prince/princess Charming(with all the attractive attributes) , but in reality how many of these prince/princess charming are there?
Not denying the above.

If it's ideal to many, means is good. Good of cuz rare. Like bell curve lor.

Guys also same mah. Ideal ones are very rare.

If you are ideal, then higher chance can land an ideal partner. If you below ideal, don't expect miracles.
 

localITguy

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Not denying the above.

If it's ideal to many, means is good. Good of cuz rare. Like bell curve lor.

Guys also same mah. Ideal ones are very rare.

If you are ideal, then higher chance can land an ideal partner. If you below ideal, don't expect miracles.
you got kids, how do u find time for just the both of u? (dates,sesi time.. etc..)
 

Sodomicha

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Does your wife actually bring any value to your life except sex and having children?

:( one problem for me always falling out of relationship is I find the girl I'm dating doesn't put value into my life except sex. Some even need me to service like dead fish. Makes me wonder sometime if this is normal for men in a married life?

Do you have to make all the decision... Be the main breadwinner and yet have to take care of wife who expects you to tell her everything is all right when she gets emotional?
Wah TS..normally if avatar put chio bu means in real life gf or wife nt ur ideal chio bu?
 

straweffigy

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you got kids, how do u find time for just the both of u? (dates,sesi time.. etc..)

The trick to a fulfilling loving sustainable marriage is no kids lah in my opinion.

From the start, both of us already on the same page. So we have extra resources like time and money, invest back on each other and ourselves.
 

localITguy

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The trick to a fulfilling loving sustainable marriage is no kids lah in my opinion.

From the start, both of us already on the same page. So we have extra resources like time and money, invest back on each other and ourselves.

lol. no wonder.don't u hate it when people say, married but why no kids?

like knn, we dw have kids cannot? why u kaypoh so much
 

Mystyque

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The trick to a fulfilling loving sustainable marriage is no kids lah in my opinion.

From the start, both of us already on the same page. So we have extra resources like time and money, invest back on each other and ourselves.

After two kids, I concur :(
 

glarerder

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The trick to a fulfilling loving sustainable marriage is no kids lah in my opinion.

From the start, both of us already on the same page. So we have extra resources like time and money, invest back on each other and ourselves.
you use condom every time? or waifu iud or you did vasectomy? :(
 

straweffigy

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lol. no wonder.don't u hate it when people say, married but why no kids?

like knn, we dw have kids cannot? why u kaypoh so much

Diff people diff strokes. No wrong or right.. just that too many parents come and tell us our decision wrong :cautious:

Some like the family feel. My wife and I we value our our freedom, privacy and space.
 

Mystyque

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lol. no wonder.don't u hate it when people say, married but why no kids?

like knn, we dw have kids cannot? why u kaypoh so much

because some of us just want to be able sleep well at night...

You should have kids! They are so lovable! Not one parent have came up to me and demand an apology after having one :crazy:
 

daryl76

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having kids or not is a choice... no right or wrong, in fact I have many friends who prefer not to have kids too

why must go around telling ppl have kids is normal, is good etc
 

Sodomicha

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Is that why your hands are tired? :ROFLMAO:

For mine, we have open discussions for sexuality/intimacy every now & then. We watch adult videos together (she will tell me what kind she like then I go DL) then we try to renact them (quite fun). We also do roleplay, cosplay, rope in toys, change locations. She will initiate at times, tell me what she likes. I will tell her my fetish or fantasy and she will cooperate.
Married yet?
 

Circusend

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you got kids, how do u find time for just the both of u? (dates,sesi time.. etc..)
When the kid slps or when the parents visit or if we put the kid with the ifc etc. It takes a village to raise a child. But never make the kid the centre of the family. U r responsible for the kid tgt and when things go wrong or nt the way u envision it it doesnt give u free reign for u to abuse ur spouse.

and if things get too heated or too tiring long term, it is okay to pass the kid to someone u trust to handle while u take a rest, cool down and talk it over with ur other half.

nowadays pple seem to think like when u have a family u take care of the kid urself even tho a baby doesnt have regulated sleep timings, completely forgetting that humans in ancient times were tribal in nature for a reason. As a couple we took care of the kid almost 100% excluding ifc hours for 8 to 9 mths before we realised we got very irritated with each other from the lack of sleep (and interrupted sleep) + work stress. So we got others to assist us and we finally got a bit more time to enjoy ourselves and the kid as a whole. My in law and parents are 100% retired so they are really delighted to have smth to do.

now the kid is 1 yr +++ and acts, smiles, eats, sleeps and plays largely like a normal human. we thank god the tough part is over and we can teach and play with him normally. If want to have another kid I dread the starting part. While fulfilling, it is like a marathon nightmare that didnt end as u have to tahan pain, lack of sleep, milking, work stress plus baby etc. It is no wonder women actually take a year off after having a kid to properly raise him or have a helper otherwise really i think we will kisiao without any outside help.

and if ur relationship nt stable having a kid will worsen it. So to all aspiring wives who think having a kid will tie a cheating/unloving man down, pls think again. U will only be accentuating the cracks in ur relationship cos of the stress the kid will bring. In gist dont have kids if u are nt ready for one. Even if u think u are, u will b surprised at just how tiring it was when u try to do it urself. For older couples its even more draining.
 
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