Q for guys who are married

BipolarIndividual

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Does your wife actually bring any value to your life except sex and having children?

:( one problem for me always falling out of relationship is I find the girl I'm dating doesn't put value into my life except sex. Some even need me to service like dead fish. Makes me wonder sometime if this is normal for men in a married life?

Do you have to make all the decision... Be the main breadwinner and yet have to take care of wife who expects you to tell her everything is all right when she gets emotional?

Do you usually complain/rant a lot? A wife might be useful if she listens to your woes.
 

straweffigy

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wild couple lolol.

hahhaha. I tot AMDK only.
I am the more open minded one. Slowly condition her to open up, start exploring lor.

No kids really is like a cheat mode.. esp. for a loving couple.
 

BipolarIndividual

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Maybe i sound really gek gao this way... but my mindset is such,

My contribution,

1. More money contributed by me.
2. Household Chores majority to be done by me esp dirty work like washing dishes, mopping and cleaning the toilet.
3. If got children i have to help with diapers changing (which is okay for me i think it's fair and square for equal childcare)
4. My companionship
5. Drive wife around
6. During sex i'm the one servicing her and she wants to stop after she comes

Wife Contribution

1. Sex (but she enjoys too)
2. She bears children (if not i bear?)
3. Her companionship

???

These are the exact talks i had with last last ex. Initially i thought she was joking about she don't wanna do chores. But slowly as the relationship progress i found that i'm the one contributing most of the time and she doesn't even contribute anything. It'd be her favourite movie genre if not we're not watching. And i was amazed after our first few times... she actually wants to stop and go to sleep after she came when i was still going.

Wtf?? and that's the reason we became ex.

That's the reason i ask this question because i want to find out if this is really how men are going to be after marriage?

I mean what's the point if i start a family with another adult baby that i have to be her financial pillar / emotional pillar and she just sits at home??

So i'm wondering if those whom are married... are your wife also contributes by being your emotional support or help you when you need help?

See only saw you as a simp lor. I feel if you maybe more handsome then the dynamics would change.
 

Techno Pride

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It is very hard for humans to invent or learn new things. Most of the knowledge we have and know are all learnt from someone else.

When a wife has a "sudden change of heart", there might be a homewrecker or creepy catlady giving advice behind the scenes. Men, being logical creatures, may not realise that anyone would actually believe a creepy catlady, but people actually do believe them (the catladies).
 

Techno Pride

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Does your wife actually bring any value to your life except sex and having children?

:( one problem for me always falling out of relationship is I find the girl I'm dating doesn't put value into my life except sex. Some even need me to service like dead fish. Makes me wonder sometime if this is normal for men in a married life?

Do you have to make all the decision... Be the main breadwinner and yet have to take care of wife who expects you to tell her everything is all right when she gets emotional?

Watch what people do, not what they say. Marriage is like committing the next 21 years of time and resouces in one person.

It's like stockpicking and investment, where people boast when they pick a winner, but never highlight the duds. Better still, when caught by CAD, the "investors" will double down and insist that the culprits are innocent.
 

glarerder

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It is very hard for humans to invent or learn new things. Most of the knowledge we have and know are all learnt from someone else.

When a wife has a "sudden change of heart", there might be a homewrecker or creepy catlady giving advice behind the scenes. Men, being logical creatures, may not realise that anyone would actually believe a creepy catlady, but people actually do believe them (the catladies).
nothing is sudden. its often gradual without being detected. how to be 247 around the other person... marriage is a bet that the girl isnt hiding anything from you
 

Techno Pride

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nothing is sudden. its often gradual without being detected. how to be 247 around the other person... marriage is a bet that the girl isnt hiding anything from you

"Bet" is an accurate assessment. Just like investments is a "bet" that management isn't withholding critical info from external investors.
 

eflash

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Maybe i sound really gek gao this way... but my mindset is such,

My contribution,

1. More money contributed by me.
2. Household Chores majority to be done by me esp dirty work like washing dishes, mopping and cleaning the toilet.
3. If got children i have to help with diapers changing (which is okay for me i think it's fair and square for equal childcare)
4. My companionship
5. Drive wife around
6. During sex i'm the one servicing her and she wants to stop after she comes

Wife Contribution

1. Sex (but she enjoys too)
2. She bears children (if not i bear?)
3. Her companionship

???

These are the exact talks i had with last last ex. Initially i thought she was joking about she don't wanna do chores. But slowly as the relationship progress i found that i'm the one contributing most of the time and she doesn't even contribute anything. It'd be her favourite movie genre if not we're not watching. And i was amazed after our first few times... she actually wants to stop and go to sleep after she came when i was still going.

Wtf?? and that's the reason we became ex.

That's the reason i ask this question because i want to find out if this is really how men are going to be after marriage?

I mean what's the point if i start a family with another adult baby that i have to be her financial pillar / emotional pillar and she just sits at home??

So i'm wondering if those whom are married... are your wife also contributes by being your emotional support or help you when you need help?

No car, no such issue of 5.
2. Depends... I cook, he wash... Though sometimes I do help to wash the dishes. Cleaning toilet... Rotation (although I clean more thoroughly), mopping he do mainly... Vacumn just use robot, he does mainly routine stuff, I do say clean sofa, wipe mirrors, clean sink, clean table and surfaces (others)
3. Children is more than just mere diaper changing. We shared duties from feeding, playing, sleep training, speech training, bathing, toilet training...
6. Want to have sex also tough since taking care of kid + work... Recently kid having sleep regression.

Haha I contribute to his leave (he even remarked when am I going to fall sick so he can take spouse sick leave... Crow mouth then I really fell sick because kid was sick and sticky to me)

I take care of grocery shopping, house supplies, cooking....

There will be problems in marriage, just how the couple resolve them... Similar to when dating...
 

Mystyque

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now the kid is 1 yr +++ and acts, smiles, eats, sleeps and plays largely like a normal human. we thank god the tough part is over and we can teach and play with him normally.

1yr+... you wait a few more months... :s13:
 

Circusend

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1yr+... you wait a few more months... :s13:
He running and climbing liao hahaha more fun than work. The toddler stage is what i envisioned little kids to be when i wanted a family. Hes sleeping well too and I can handle him waking up at night better cos its not an every night thing. The sleep part totes nearly broke our sanity lolol.
 

conure

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He running and climbing liao hahaha more fun than work. The toddler stage is what i envisioned little kids to be when i wanted a family. Hes sleeping well too and I can handle him waking up at night better cos its not an every night thing. The sleep part totes nearly broke our sanity lolol.
when the kid is 2 plus onwards to about 5ish is usually when parents mutate into 包公, unless kid is docile type ...
 

Mystyque

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He running and climbing liao hahaha more fun than work. The toddler stage is what i envisioned little kids to be when i wanted a family. Hes sleeping well too and I can handle him waking up at night better cos its not an every night thing. The sleep part totes nearly broke our sanity lolol.

Enjoy it now, once they get into 2+ to 3, unless you get a unicorn kid, their need to assert their independence and ability to talk back without consistent logic... :crazy:
 

Kumar22

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Marriage is not about sex lah. That's an edmw fake belief.
You think wife is nothing? Just look at your mother!
The amount of value she brought to the home - enuff said..
 

Soosoosoo

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Wei, can female reply. Pls lor. U find a wrong wifey. I can list down so many things but sum it up I do all things except 1 thing he do. even my itec colleague was like wth... how come they do everything for their wife but I do everything for my husband.
Maybe my husband reading in. Hahahah.
1)I pay for all the things, like phone, Internet, house, kids fees medical etc. Food etc.
2) I do all the transaction paperwork
3) all kids related stuff, everything, meet teacher, enroll sch, enroll extra stuff etc. Kids download, buying online etc.
4) home stuff spoiled or need change, like filter, aircon servicing, floor spoil, lights spoil I buy but this one he change. Internet connection I solve. Kids ipad phone crack I solve
5) cook and buy I do 80% of the time.
6) buy home and sell I do alone, buy from taobao I do all, he did arrange people to fix light
So all on all everything I do and most I pay. So not sure why u think wife no value add. U just didn't get a good deal.
 

AndroidComa

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Wei, can female reply. Pls lor. U find a wrong wifey. I can list down so many things but sum it up I do all things except 1 thing he do. even my itec colleague was like wth... how come they do everything for their wife but I do everything for my husband.
Maybe my husband reading in. Hahahah.
1)I pay for all the things, like phone, Internet, house, kids fees medical etc. Food etc.
2) I do all the transaction paperwork
3) all kids related stuff, everything, meet teacher, enroll sch, enroll extra stuff etc. Kids download, buying online etc.
4) home stuff spoiled or need change, like filter, aircon servicing, floor spoil, lights spoil I buy but this one he change. Internet connection I solve. Kids ipad phone crack I solve
5) cook and buy I do 80% of the time.
6) buy home and sell I do alone, buy from taobao I do all, he did arrange people to fix light
So all on all everything I do and most I pay. So not sure why u think wife no value add. U just didn't get a good deal.
wanna marry you, where to start q?
 
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Does your wife actually bring any value to your life except sex and having children?

:( one problem for me always falling out of relationship is I find the girl I'm dating doesn't put value into my life except sex. Some even need me to service like dead fish. Makes me wonder sometime if this is normal for men in a married life?

Do you have to make all the decision... Be the main breadwinner and yet have to take care of wife who expects you to tell her everything is all right when she gets emotional?

Marriage was the biggest mistake of my life,

Unless you use it to pay less taxes and/or any benefits unrelated to a relationship (to add value to both) then avoid it or do a proper prenup to ease out divorce.

A relationship / companionship / partnership does not need an outdated legal document (marriage is so last millennial) to make it work.

In most of the cases it will only make you unhappier , brings you unnecessary burden of assumed responsibility.

You can still live a wonderful fulfilling life without marrying , do a ceremony if you like the party part of it and share the love with friends and family but dont tie yourself into legal binding medieval ****.

(context: mid 30s westerner, selfmade highly successful expat in singapore, wanted to share my happiness with a partner and thought marrying would prove my good intentions. I am into giving and not taking advantage of marriage, still it totally destroyed my life... please don't repeat my error. I didn't chose the wrong partner, marriage turned the right partner into a living nightmare)

Focus on yourself, give more than expect to receive , never stop learning and have fun surrounded by people you love. People come and go , legally binding documents will **** you up. Remember that when people have nothing to lose they'll turn into beasts.
 

Staid4

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Marriage was the biggest mistake of my life,

Unless you use it to pay less taxes and/or any benefits unrelated to a relationship (to add value to both) then avoid it or do a proper prenup to ease out divorce.

A relationship / companionship / partnership does not need an outdated legal document (marriage is so last millennial) to make it work.

In most of the cases it will only make you unhappier , brings you unnecessary burden of assumed responsibility.

You can still live a wonderful fulfilling life without marrying , do a ceremony if you like the party part of it and share the love with friends and family but dont tie yourself into legal binding medieval ****.

(context: mid 30s westerner, selfmade highly successful expat in singapore, wanted to share my happiness with a partner and thought marrying would prove my good intentions. I am into giving and not taking advantage of marriage, still it totally destroyed my life... please don't repeat my error. I didn't chose the wrong partner, marriage turned the right partner into a living nightmare)

Focus on yourself, give more than expect to receive , never stop learning and have fun surrounded by people you love. People come and go , legally binding documents will **** you up. Remember that when people have nothing to lose they'll turn into beasts.
Can share your story? How did she fugged u up?
 

dxdx999

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Marriage was the biggest mistake of my life,
Unless you use it to pay less taxes and/or any benefits unrelated to a relationship (to add value to both) then avoid it or do a proper prenup to ease out divorce.
A relationship / companionship / partnership does not need an outdated legal document (marriage is so last millennial) to make it work.
In most of the cases it will only make you unhappier , brings you unnecessary burden of assumed responsibility.
You can still live a wonderful fulfilling life without marrying , do a ceremony if you like the party part of it and share the love with friends and family but dont tie yourself into legal binding medieval ****.
(context: mid 30s westerner, selfmade highly successful expat in singapore, wanted to share my happiness with a partner and thought marrying would prove my good intentions. I am into giving and not taking advantage of marriage, still it totally destroyed my life... please don't repeat my error. I didn't chose the wrong partner, marriage turned the right partner into a living nightmare)
Focus on yourself, give more than expect to receive , never stop learning and have fun surrounded by people you love. People come and go , legally binding documents will **** you up. Remember that when people have nothing to lose they'll turn into beasts.

explain more pls on how your ex wife evolved.

you amdk some more siol, why scared?
 
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