- Nov 4, 2016
- Reaction score
It's very difficult to pursue relationship if the goal is transactional outcomes. Looking at a different scenario, I used to have experiences where I thought a girl had interests in me, but it was ultimately a leeching interest. The girl asked me for help for studies, assignments, homework and just leave after getting the help she needs.This is exactly what i have problem with.
It is enduring for me to know if marriage to a man is all about spending his money, effort and energy to take care of a woman simply so she can give birth to his offspring.
And if money, effort and energy is not enough, he has to randomly tank her emotional outburst, unreasonable wants and requests some of which is impossible to reach. And when this happen, she sneer at you for being useless.
It's like a man "love" a woman... coax and dotes her... but in the end she asks for the moon... and then says you're wrong and lousy for not being able to bring the moon to her.
So what's the value she brings for the man?
That is one common problem. The next problem is as you said, the differences in life values. For some, they are raised in families where spending is kept to minimal, so saving is a big part of their life. They meet ppl who do not save much, that is red flag already, wouldn't even get to the bgr stage. Also, some ppl are more ambitious and adventurous, do not mind going abroad for career opportunities, while some prefer to be rooted. When there is a huge mismatch in the life values, that is where mental health will take a toll, especially the one that have to give in to the other party. It reminds me of uni, having to do courses that you do not like and just have to get through it. Same thing occurs, mental health deteriorates.
Emotional outburst, different ppl have different tolerance levels to different issues. If you give constructive feedback and the other party chooses to ignore and return to their old ways, there's not much you can do but either play the villian of nagging constantly or move on from the person.
The guy could be a genuinely good man and because he did a lot, the girl takes advantage of this. The guy could be oblivious or act blur, live longer (happy wife, happy life). Vice versa, can also happen for girls.