Discussion is always an opportunity for me to learn and grow, so I appreciate your replies!
I should have used the term "self-centred" instead of "selfish", and I don't mean it in a negative way. Self-centred simply means that the central consideration of a thought or an action was "self". When "self" is given priority, it is inevitable that "others" are relegated to the back of the queue.
Agree self-centred is a more appropriate word. Recently my self-centred nephew came to ask for my favourite chair. He get his mum to ask me iso asking me personally himself. As a 长辈 to nephew, she knows I can't or won't reject. She requested me to buy new one she gave me abit money while mine gave her son can? Instantly I said oh since he like it then ok. No need pay me.
But when I returned to my room I regret instantly becomes unwholesome tots.
As a P6 boy he doesn't know his action or desire is at the expenses of mine.
Same for his mum goal is to fulfill his son wishes at the expense of others.
While my problem is I had deep attachment to things that I like in this scenario is the chair. But that feeling gone 3 days after giving him. When it makes someone happy giving is worth it afterall.
