You guys really run heavy stuff. I do not need to access the home network stuff outside, other than to access the web GUI of the two routers (two networks: Asus RT-AX86U and OpenWRT on Intel J4105) to see if they are having issues. I use Asus Instand Guard and Wireguard VPN server on the two routers to access the router.
My "home lab" (if the setup can be called Home Lab) consists of two always-on Intel mini PCs. No NAS. No Windows VMs. No home automation stuff. You can see no problem with the CPU/RAM usage at all.
I have a few other Mini PCs and two Raspberry Pi 400 but they are usually OFF and only ON when needed, just like my Acer Windows 11 laptop and Mac Mini M1.
1) Intel J4105 mini PC (8GB/256GB) with quad Intel i210 NICs, running Proxmox PVE 7.4. It runs my home network with OpenWRT (or pfSense or OPNSense) and Adguard Home / Pi-hole containers. It has a few other Linux/BSD VMs as well but I am not really using them much now. 8GB RAM is the main limitations. I will run only one VM at a time here.
This may be replaced by a new Intel N100 mini PC (16GB/512GB) with quad Intel I226-V NICs.
2) Intel N100 mini PC (16GB/512GB) with dual Intel I226-V NICs, running Proxmox PVE 8.0. I have about 20 different Linux/BSD VMs (not counting OpenWRT/pfSense/OPNsense/IPfire) installed where I test different Open Source projects. I also play with OpenWRT/pfSense/OPNSense here (Double NAT after the Asus RT-AX86U). The VMs are usually OFF so you can see the CPU and RAM utilization is low. I can easily run two VMs at the same time.