How to be a good parent?

[cutekawaii]

What do you think?

 

[smallbrain]

Ok, I'll help you.

Moral and ethics. Many parents fail because they only tell their children what to do and what not to do. E.g. "Don't say vulgarity, it is bad." Parents must explain to their child why vulgarities are bad. Because 1. it is insulting and it hurts people. The point is not to hurt people. Also 2. insulting people is very stupid. "Ho Ching made a miscalculation by ignoring two important metrics and acquired poor investments." Not " Wah, she so stupid!" Your kids will be stupid adults if you let them talk this way. Smart righteous people criticize reasonably and fairly..
Saying that something is bad or good, right or wrong, without explanation...... your kids will not learn how to think for themselves.

Career. There is so much misinformation and disinformation in this world. Example, Warren Buffet does not buy stocks from stock market. He got special private deals. Additionally, stocks only make up less than 20% of Berkshire Hathaway's profits. So what are those "invest like Buffet" courses teaching people? Basic investing. Yes, they are not being honest. Truth and facts are very important. And there is never an end to learning. Banking jobs are highly competitive. If you want your kid to go into top banks (e.g. Morgan Stanley), your kid needs to look at the C.V./Resume of people who go into banking and repeat those education journies. Many of resumes of elite bank hires have like social work or social project organization experience, plus a third language, summer internships etc.
This is why upper- upper middle SES children have advantage. Because their parents know and can pass down the knowledge.

Social. Very important to how children will grow up. This is where they will get many influences like interests. Also important to career. There is not many ways to control this because birds of a feather flock together. Something as simple as having a darker complexion despite being Chinese will affect your kids' social circle composition, and the kind of people they attract. Some women like men with darker complexion. Small things can even affect dating. You can advice your kids to avoid the "wrong" people, like pai kias or hooligans.

Critical thinking skills. The best way to teach this is to point out to the child that he/she is wrong, whenever the children makes a mistake, and explain why they are wrong. You need to explain the thought processes behind things. And hope that they will correct their knowledge. The problem is, many parents, don't understand where the problems are. Like many Chinese parents don't see a problem if their children make fun of racial minorities.

Language. Parents must encourage good language skills and attempt to speak properly. No other way. No codeswitch. Although many Singaporeans think they can codeswitch, they usually only switch their grammar. The Singlish semantics are retained and its very clear when a Singaporean switches the grammar to proper English but the semantics remain Singlish.

It is very clear that parent's caliber will affect the children's caliber.

 

[alfonsoyy]

don't be a tiger mum.
be more of a friend to your child.
dun force your child to live in your world.

 

[smallbrain]

don't be a tiger mum.
be more of a friend to your child.
dun force your child to live in your world.

This is modern capitalist marketing. The "you decide your life" usually comes with "get this credit card" or "be a man, drink this". "Our cars are about freedom, so buy it!"

There is no such thing as freedom. If you think there is, leave Singapore. The world is yours right? Do whatever you want. Go Denmark and be a politician. Join the UN and save the climate. Go to Africa and conquer a country. Go to another country, get a job, behave like a Singaporean and speak Singlish to everyone.
You can do whatever you want, freedom.

There is no freedom in this world. We are limited by many things in life, like our parents. And we have to work within our limits. A child from wealthy background will have more opportunities in life compared to a child from a poor background.

 

[freshvibes]

Ok, I'll help you.

Moral and ethics. Many parents fail because they only tell their children what to do and what not to do. E.g. "Don't say vulgarity, it is bad." Parents must explain to their child why vulgarities are bad. Because 1. it is insulting and it hurts people. The point is not to hurt people. Also 2. insulting people is very stupid. "Ho Ching made a miscalculation by ignoring two important metrics and acquired poor investments." Not " Wah, she so stupid!" Your kids will be stupid adults if you let them talk this way. Smart righteous people criticize reasonably and fairly..
Saying that something is bad or good, right or wrong, without explanation...... your kids will not learn how to think for themselves.

Career. There is so much misinformation and disinformation in this world. Example, Warren Buffet does not buy stocks from stock market. He got special private deals. Additionally, stocks only make up less than 20% of Berkshire Hathaway's profits. So what are those "invest like Buffet" courses teaching people? Basic investing. Yes, they are not being honest. Truth and facts are very important. And there is never an end to learning. Banking jobs are highly competitive. If you want your kid to go into top banks (e.g. Morgan Stanley), your kid needs to look at the C.V./Resume of people who go into banking and repeat those education journies. Many of resumes of elite bank hires have like social work or social project organization experience, plus a third language, summer internships etc.
This is why upper- upper middle SES children have advantage. Because their parents know and can pass down the knowledge.

Social. Very important to how children will grow up. This is where they will get many influences like interests. Also important to career. There is not many ways to control this because birds of a feather flock together. Something as simple as having a darker complexion despite being Chinese will affect your kids' social circle composition, and the kind of people they attract. Some women like men with darker complexion. Small things can even affect dating. You can advice your kids to avoid the "wrong" people, like pai kias or hooligans.

Critical thinking skills. The best way to teach this is to point out to the child that he/she is wrong, whenever the children makes a mistake, and explain why they are wrong. You need to explain the thought processes behind things. And hope that they will correct their knowledge. The problem is, many parents, don't understand where the problems are. Like many Chinese parents don't see a problem if their children make fun of racial minorities.

Language. Parents must encourage good language skills and attempt to speak properly. No other way. No codeswitch. Although many Singaporeans think they can codeswitch, they usually only switch their grammar. The Singlish semantics are retained and its very clear when a Singaporean switches the grammar to proper English but the semantics remain Singlish.

It is very clear that parent's caliber will affect the children's caliber.

Quite an interesting read

 

[ah boy_]

This is modern capitalist marketing. The "you decide your life" usually comes with "get this credit card" or "be a man, drink this". "Our cars are about freedom, so buy it!"

There is no such thing as freedom. If you think there is, leave Singapore. The world is yours right? Do whatever you want. Go Denmark and be a politician. Join the UN and save the climate. Go to Africa and conquer a country. Go to another country, get a job, behave like a Singaporean and speak Singlish to everyone.
You can do whatever you want, freedom.

There is no freedom in this world. We are limited by many things in life, like our parents. And we have to work within our limits. A child from wealthy background will have more opportunities in life compared to a child from a poor background.

relaxlabrudder

 

[smallbrain]

relaxlabrudder

So this reply from ah boy_ is a good example. It lacks sensitivity, reasoning and is disrespectful. What can you teach your children from this example?

1. Be sensitive to other cultures and do not make assumptions. I am relaxed when i reply and this is how i speak to my friends over beer. I understand part of the reason that my replies seem unrelaxed because of the semantics behind Singlish. Singlish sees proper English as being used for official purposes only. That is to say, language affects the way humans perceive the world. And the problem with Singlish semantics is that it creates a world that is disconnected from and in conflict with the English-speaking world. Part of this stems from the fact that some Singaporeans do not interact with other cultures and are ignorant of other people's behaviors, as well as the assumption that everyone must be the same. It's called ethnocentrism.
Teach your kids to question their thoughts and reasoning before making judgement. Ask them "do you disagree with that person because he said something wrong? Or do you disagree with that person because you do not like what he/she said? How do you know that you are not the one who is wrong? May be other people are correct." Teach them that people can have different perspectives. We must differentiate between what is wrong, and what is not wrong.

2. Impulse control and emotion self-awareness. I understand that many uncultured people do not have the habit of being respectful towards other people. And it is their habit to insult people without even thinking, when they see something they do not understand. They cannot control their actions. They have low EQ. In the case of ah boy_, he read my post and felt something negative, and decided to reply without thinking. Because this is what he has been doing for a long time. It is his/her habit, and it is done without any reason. It is done because he/she feels like it.

It is very important that parents teach their children to question their emotions and their actions. When your children are angry at someone ask them "why are you angry with someone? Why do you feel like doing bad things to someone else?" And then you can teach them to control their actions "Yes, I know you are angry at someone, but does that mean you have to hurt someone? Or take revenge against that person?". "Why not talk to that person and try to make peace?" Or "why not ignore that person?" Let your child exercise their reasoning skills by asking them what they want to do. And tell them if they make a wrong decision. "Hurting people is not a solution. People might hurt you back, and that leads to more unhappiness. So don't cause more unhappiness to other people in the first place by hurting them." Your children might make righteous and smart decisions by themselves in the end.
You must let the children know that feeling unhappy is okay. Being sad is okay. Being angry is okay. "There are many ignorant people in this world. You will feel angry with them. It is okay. But be aware of your actions and don't commit evil." To have higher EQ, one must be aware of his/her own emotions. And they must know how to process these negative emotions in a healthy and safe manner.

 

[ah boy_]

So this reply from ah boy_ is a good example. It lacks sensitivity, reasoning and is disrespectful. What can you teach your children from this example?

1. Be sensitive to other cultures and do not make assumptions. I am relaxed when i reply and this is how i speak to my friends over beer. I understand part of the reason that my replies seem unrelaxed because of the semantics behind Singlish. Singlish sees proper English as being used for official purposes only. That is to say, language affects the way humans perceive the world. And the problem with Singlish semantics is that it creates a world that is disconnected from and in conflict with the English-speaking world. Part of this stems from the fact that some Singaporeans do not interact with other cultures and are ignorant of other people's behaviors, as well as the assumption that everyone must be the same. It's called ethnocentrism.
Teach your kids to question their thoughts and reasoning before making judgement. Ask them "do you disagree with that person because he said something wrong? Or do you disagree with that person because you do not like what he/she said? How do you know that you are not the one who is wrong? May be other people are correct." Teach them that people can have different perspectives. We must differentiate between what is wrong, and what is not wrong.

2. Impulse control and emotion self-awareness. I understand that many uncultured people do not have the habit of being respectful towards other people. And it is their habit to insult people without even thinking, when they see something they do not understand. They cannot control their actions. They have low EQ. In the case of ah boy_, he read my post and felt something negative, and decided to reply without thinking. Because this is what he has been doing for a long time. It is his/her habit, and it is done without any reason. It is done because he/she feels like it.

It is very important that parents teach their children to question their emotions and their actions. When your children are angry at someone ask them "why are you angry with someone? Why do you feel like doing bad things to someone else?" And then you can teach them to control their actions "Yes, I know you are angry at someone, but does that mean you have to hurt someone? Or take revenge against that person?". "Why not talk to that person and try to make peace?" Or "why not ignore that person?" Let your child exercise their reasoning skills by asking them what they want to do. And tell them if they make a wrong decision. "Hurting people is not a solution. People might hurt you back, and that leads to more unhappiness. So don't cause more unhappiness to other people in the first place by hurting them." Your children might make righteous and smart decisions by themselves in the end.
You must let the children know that feeling unhappy is okay. Being sad is okay. Being angry is okay. "There are many ignorant people in this world. You will feel angry with them. It is okay. But be aware of your actions and don't commit evil." To have higher EQ, one must be aware of his/her own emotions. And they must know how to process these negative emotions in a healthy and safe manner.

~facepalm~
a like for your wot