How to persuade son's fiance family to stop discouraging her from attending health-predictive genetic test before ROM?

[Lemonpeach]

I'm a strong supporter of both couples taking genetic test for health prediction. This can avoid passing traits to children. We did the tests - my waifu and I. Not retail type tests like 23Me or Ancestry, but validated ones from hospitals. With annual health screening, the family can monitor and manage health issues. We are willing to bear the fees, several thousands for comprehensive suite for 2.

My son and his fiancé are in agreement. We shown them many medical journals, articles, website references. Hit and run is risky. Handling DS, or ADHD kids or children with congenital issues is expensive and time consuming.

But her family is objecting like there is no tomorrow. Reasons such as prying into privacy, discouraging marriage, look down on them, cursing them, take it or leave it, etc etc all came out. Her parents are both in early 50s. I would have thought they are fairly informed and educated.

Can anyone suggest how we should approach her family? She is adult and can make her own decision. However as the only child, the family thing becomes sticky.

We sat down a few times, emailed articles, and even tried to arrange meetings between them and physicians and geneticists, but they avoided.

Bringing up kids is expensive. A medically defective child is a nightmare. Unlike my generation where we hit and run, they both have a good opportunity to find out first.

Sigh.

 

[fortunecat]

Just go and do it lor, adults liao this kind of thing still need to seek parents permission? Unless need the parents to do also

 

[applecrisp]

My wife family also wanted. Then they see my Andy Lau face they tell me its ok dont need liao

 

[GoneNuts]

I know ts scare future DIL got peasant/low ses genes right...

Mybfd...sg got alot of safety net and vouchers... don't worry too much about the next generation.

 

[li9ht5peed]

i totally believe in having babies with good genes, but the approach must be sensitive. i screen all inlaw parents, grandparents & siblings visually. ask or observe their health, fitness, academics, diet. generally i find partners who have zero hospitalisation records. it's your best guarantee of good health. good looking but sick is bky. parents sick also bky

don't use genetic testing to insult your inlaws though. if they felt offended, don't do it. your intention may be good, but their feelings are more important

 

[fire]

If the couple have no objection then just proceed to do it. Since there's no harm to oneself, kids nowadays will still insist on getting parents permission?

 

[Vinda99]

If your son and fiancé, then no need to worry, 2kkj, can't get pregnant.

If your son and fiancée, then maybe

 

[rizhal]

I'm a strong supporter of both couples taking genetic test for health prediction. This can avoid passing traits to children. We did the tests - my waifu and I. Not retail type tests like 23Me or Ancestry, but validated ones from hospitals. With annual health screening, the family can monitor and manage health issues. We are willing to bear the fees, several thousands for comprehensive suite for 2.

My son and his fiancé are in agreement. We shown them many medical journals, articles, website references. Hit and run is risky. Handling DS, or ADHD kids or children with congenital issues is expensive and time consuming.

But her family is objecting like there is no tomorrow. Reasons such as prying into privacy, discouraging marriage, look down on them, cursing them, take it or leave it, etc etc all came out. Her parents are both in early 50s. I would have thought they are fairly informed and educated.

Can anyone suggest how we should approach her family? She is adult and can make her own decision. However as the only child, the family thing becomes sticky.

We sat down a few times, emailed articles, and even tried to arrange meetings between them and physicians and geneticists, but they avoided.

Bringing up kids is expensive. A medically defective child is a nightmare. Unlike my generation where we hit and run, they both have a good opportunity to find out first.

Sigh.

Sir, you done your best to share info to them.

Now, they are the adults to choose their path.

 

[Orionz]

those who know the science behind it won't do. its not predictive

 

[XiaoChilli]

I'm a strong supporter of both couples taking genetic test for health prediction. This can avoid passing traits to children. We did the tests - my waifu and I. Not retail type tests like 23Me or Ancestry, but validated ones from hospitals. With annual health screening, the family can monitor and manage health issues. We are willing to bear the fees, several thousands for comprehensive suite for 2.

My son and his fiancé are in agreement. We shown them many medical journals, articles, website references. Hit and run is risky. Handling DS, or ADHD kids or children with congenital issues is expensive and time consuming.

But her family is objecting like there is no tomorrow. Reasons such as prying into privacy, discouraging marriage, look down on them, cursing them, take it or leave it, etc etc all came out. Her parents are both in early 50s. I would have thought they are fairly informed and educated.

Can anyone suggest how we should approach her family? She is adult and can make her own decision. However as the only child, the family thing becomes sticky.

We sat down a few times, emailed articles, and even tried to arrange meetings between them and physicians and geneticists, but they avoided.

Bringing up kids is expensive. A medically defective child is a nightmare. Unlike my generation where we hit and run, they both have a good opportunity to find out first.

Sigh.

Y must do before ROM?
If result is bad dont get married?

Im kinda on their parents side.
If like dat might as well do genetic testing before dating dont waste time.

 

[Comage]

Y must do before ROM?
If result is bad dont get married?

Im kinda on their parents side.
If like dat might as well do genetic testing before dating dont waste time.

Because there's money at stake, obviously.

If both sides were commoner-class/peasant-class/lower-than-middle-income-class, you think they'd be worried about genetics issue?

Real people worry about being able to put food on the table after starting a family.

Nothing wrong with TS though, but it's a first-world problem.

 

[Medicated Oil]

Tell your son to find some gal who is willing to do it.

 

[CCCustom]

How to persuade son's fiance family to stop discouraging her from attending health-predictive genetic test before ROM?​

Tell them don’t worry … if your son has a fiance, they won’t be having kids either way?

But srsly … if either side found to have issues, means call off wedding? Wait your own son is the 1 with the issues then means he will never marry? Y’all want to do this kind of $#!t don’t wait until engaged and prepare ROM already then want to do … y’all don’t ******, srsly.

 

[XiaoChilli]

Because there's money at stake, obviously.

If both sides were commoner-class/peasant-class/lower-than-middle-income-class, you think they'd be worried about genetics issue?

Real people worry about being able to put food on the table after starting a family.

Nothing wrong with TS though, but it's a first-world problem.

Like I said might as well do it before dating.
Waste so much time to ROM stage then ltr find out genes not good.

 

[havetheveryfun]

cos u havent answered the most important questions:

What IF the result turns out bad for the female party ?

Are you going to ask your son to break up with her?

Are you going to discourage them for having a baby, or stop them from having a baby COMPLETELY?

 

[XiaoChilli]

Tell them don’t worry … if your son has a fiance, they won’t be having kids either way?

But srsly … if either side found to have issues, means call off wedding? Wait your own son is the 1 with the issues then means he will never marry? Y’all want to do this kind of $#!t don’t wait until engaged and prepare ROM already then want to do … y’all don’t ******, srsly.

Yalor its very insensitive to do it just before ROM.

 

[XiaoChilli]

cos u havent answered the most important questions:

What IF the result turns out bad for the female party ?

Are you going to ask your son to break up with her?

Are you going to discourage them for having a baby, or stop them from having a baby COMPLETELY?

He is going to call off the wedding. Coz they want to do genetic test before ROM

 

[sickoflife]

Such a high SES problem. Totally cannot relate

 

[qhong61]

I'm a strong supporter of both couples taking genetic test for health prediction. This can avoid passing traits to children. We did the tests - my waifu and I. Not retail type tests like 23Me or Ancestry, but validated ones from hospitals. With annual health screening, the family can monitor and manage health issues. We are willing to bear the fees, several thousands for comprehensive suite for 2.

My son and his fiancé are in agreement. We shown them many medical journals, articles, website references. Hit and run is risky. Handling DS, or ADHD kids or children with congenital issues is expensive and time consuming.

But her family is objecting like there is no tomorrow. Reasons such as prying into privacy, discouraging marriage, look down on them, cursing them, take it or leave it, etc etc all came out. Her parents are both in early 50s. I would have thought they are fairly informed and educated.

Can anyone suggest how we should approach her family? She is adult and can make her own decision. However as the only child, the family thing becomes sticky.

We sat down a few times, emailed articles, and even tried to arrange meetings between them and physicians and geneticists, but they avoided.

Bringing up kids is expensive. A medically defective child is a nightmare. Unlike my generation where we hit and run, they both have a good opportunity to find out first.

Sigh.

Dated how long?

 

[Taloona]

There are 1000s of diseases how to pick which one to test? Can test for autism?

Doctors usually ask you to go for genetic tests if you have a family history.