Logistical arrangement with car

[Huathuatmao]

Caught my attention. Thanks for sharing. What do you mean ‘shift’? Infant care, new job or house?

Can elaborate why throw in the towel? What were the issues with the past arrangement? Why do you have to leave at 8pm? Omg.

Shifting new house. Too tired to do anything else, felt like we missed out a lot in life and spent a lot of time rushing around. Not really an issue with the current arrangement but we just dread having to spend so much time out. By the time we reach home, have dinner, settle baby, almost 10+ 11pm already so need to prepare for next day. Travelling from my work place to my current home via public takes around 1.5hrs incl waiting time and jam. Then sometimes detour to buy bread for breakfast/grab something. Cannot lah.

 

[keenklee]

50km still ok for round trip. 120km... what a stud!

*silently worried with wtf I should do with my arrangement....how do the parents with 2 children juggle this? One already to the brink...

IMHO.
The answers are in my posts in this thread.
You just need to bend and relook at the "rules" that you have, to see whether it is doable and what are the compromises.

Life should be a balance.

If I am in your scenario.

Employ FDW.
Morning, FDW, wife and infant go infant care.
FDW go home herself.
You send wife to work - enjoy couple time.
Lunch, you go out with colleagues - teamwork
Evening, FDW picks infant
You pick up wife if you end early.
If wife ends early, she takes MRT to meet you.
You and wife go home - enjoy couple time
Home - dinner ready, washing done, etc.

If wife sanity is kept, maybe won't stop at 1.

Of course there are some who thinks otherwise about FDW. Sure, can do without. It's just the quality of life.

It's like why your client use your services or why your boss employs you. If i follow the same concept, the client or boss can do themselves what.
Boss drives big car = quality of life

 

[xhlee87]

Thanks for sharing your experience and perspectives. I supposed of we can knock off from work sharp, family should be home before 8pm...hopefully. Most likely tapAo dinner at nearby mall.

The stop point is an efficient one. Nearby MRT and with food options. I believe is the best for the short term. Moving house is not an option

Surely one or two of the many morning rush cars are young parents similar to my circumstances. Sometimes really is ownself carry ownself.

Bro, is this your first car and never drive during peak hours?
Why do u think u can reach home before 8pm when u knock off at 7pm.

There is no infant care that close at 8pm. Even 730pm is difficult to find.
One of you needs to apply for early release like 530pm or 6pm and pick up the baby.
Most women will do that once they got baby when they do not have maid or parents to help them.

7pm leave work to pick up from infant care is never going to work anyway.
Infant care near house is always better.
It is easier to travel from work to infant care to bring the baby home when the baby is sick than travelling the whole journey with a sick baby.

Conclusion, have u even managed to find an infant care that close past 7pm?
If no, whatever planning u did have failed by buying car.

Most young parents don’t plan like u, they just hire a maid and it solves most of the problems easily rather than paying so much to get a car and the problem still there.
It just looks like the main objective of getting a car is more of satisfying one desire to drive and using baby as an excuse to convince themselves to buy.

 

[keenklee]

There is no infant care that close at 8pm. Even 730pm is difficult to find.
.....
Conclusion, have u even managed to find an infant care that close past 7pm?
If no, whatever planning u did have failed by buying car.

IMHO.
You had said that the is NO infant care that close at 8pm.
You had also said that even 7.30pm is difficult to find.

So since you have these information, why don't you share with TS on which are the infant care that closes at 7.30pm instead of asking if TS manages to find and if not, he has failed in planning?

Or you don't have these information?

P.S. difficult to find can mean already found, just that the process of finding is difficult or the process so difficult that cannot be found?

 

[xhlee87]

IMHO.
You had said that the is NO infant care that close at 8pm.
You had also said that even 7.30pm is difficult to find.

So since you have these information, why don't you share with TS on which are the infant care that closes at 7.30pm instead of asking if TS manages to find and if not, he has failed in planning?

Or you don't have these information?

P.S. difficult to find can mean already found, just that the process of finding is difficult or the process so difficult that cannot be found?

Do you have kids? Have u ever search for infant care before?
The area I search is North, how will that help him.
Since u so free, why not u go help him find the area he needs and share with him.

I came to those conclusion from reading parent forums and chats previously for those timing.

Having a baby is already so tiring and follow his plan by rushing everyday for years. Cant imagine that.

 

[sigeena]

50km still ok for round trip. 120km... what a stud!

*silently worried with wtf I should do with my arrangement....how do the parents with 2 children juggle this? One already to the brink...

The best mid-long term solution is to move. Short term may be to rent. But dependent on wife's job security, and overall lucrativeness.

Rent out your current place, rent a place in Jurong. You may break even or maybe lugi abit, but it beats rushing and spending money on fuel and ERP.

 

[keenklee]

Do you have kids? Have u ever search for infant care before?
The area I search is North, how will that help him.
Since u so free, why not u go help him find the area he needs and share with him.

I came to those conclusion from reading parent forums and chats previously for those timing.

Having a baby is already so tiring and follow his plan by rushing everyday for years. Cant imagine that.

Whether or not I have kid(s) or not is not important.
Yes, I have search for infant care.
If you only search North, then shouldn't you be specific?
How you know I am not in the background indirectly helping. I keep low profile when I try to help. For your info, I have written to ask for information.
You can read all the parent forums and chat you want. You cannot does not means others also cannot.

So are you saying that you have a baby and is so tiring?
In your own words, different context :-
Conclusion, have u even managed to find out that having a baby could be tiring? If no, whatever planning u did have failed.

P.S. I don't usually go around saying I do this and that, I can why you cannot?

 

[Takodoro]

Frankly speaking, there is no need for you to buy the car. You should just take public transport everyday and put your baby at a CC close to your workplace. But since you already bought, here are my suggestions:

1) As many pointed out, it is best to put baby at a CC as close to your home as possible. Imagine you are on leave/MC? Imagine you change job and the continuity is affected? Jurong East is no go. Considering your work timing, I would say putting somewhere in CBD is fine.
- If your wife is driving, just drop you and baby off in CBD. This would also relieve her the stress for driving "alone" with the baby onboard.
- If you are driving, just drop her off in CBD or along any MRT station along the way for her to continue taking public transport. Overall travel time should still be faster for her. MRT is much more reliable nowadays, but imagine if NE line break-down? The time saved would be even more!
- You can do likewise when going back, have your wife meet you in CBD. But frankly speaking, when going back, it would be much faster for her to take MRT all the way back. But then since you already have a car, you can consider meeting her along the way from JE to CBD for dinner and drive back home too.
- Don't ferry your wife to JE and back in the morning. A lot of time is being wasted there, especially during traffic jam. And it is uneconomical as well with the fuel wasted. I think it is okay to ferry her back from work though. As said earlier, you all can explore various eatery after work! Enjoy the lifestyle with a car!

2) Negotiate with your boss for flexi timing. Not sure on your official working hours, but lets say you come earlier at maybe 8 work till 5/5.30 + 0.5~1 hr "showface" OT, you can still be in time to fetch your infant back.
- It does not matter if your wife is not on same flexi-timing. This mean she just have to take public transport to work and back. This can be a blessing in disguise as she would have flexibility in travel time (no need to follow fixed schedule, can be early or late sometime) and work time (unexpected OT).

3) There are still some cheap parking in CBD, albeit with some walking distance. Look around some more.

4) The best long-term solution is for wife to drive, and drop you and baby off in CBD. Going to work should be fine. When back from work, if she need to OT, just her be. You just fetch the baby and take MRT back.

Not advisable to shift house to JE. What if you all change jobs? It is okay to shift house to somewhere more "central" to maintain the flexibility though (like tiong bahru, commonwealth, lavendar etc).

 

[crazythen]

Bro, is this your first car and never drive during peak hours?
Why do u think u can reach home before 8pm when u knock off at 7pm.

There is no infant care that close at 8pm. Even 730pm is difficult to find.
One of you needs to apply for early release like 530pm or 6pm and pick up the baby.
Most women will do that once they got baby when they do not have maid or parents to help them.

7pm leave work to pick up from infant care is never going to work anyway.
Infant care near house is always better.
It is easier to travel from work to infant care to bring the baby home when the baby is sick than travelling the whole journey with a sick baby.

Conclusion, have u even managed to find an infant care that close past 7pm?
If no, whatever planning u did have failed by buying car.

Most young parents don’t plan like u, they just hire a maid and it solves most of the problems easily rather than paying so much to get a car and the problem still there.
It just looks like the main objective of getting a car is more of satisfying one desire to drive and using baby as an excuse to convince themselves to buy.

Thanks bro. I didn’t start this thread to earn praises or look for confirmation bias to my plan. The feedback and criticism have been helpful to rejig our plans. I also like the maid + infant care suggestion. I know some parents can leave the baby with the maid, though with cameras etc...but I have not crossed the line.

 

[crazythen]

Frankly speaking, there is no need for you to buy the car. You should just take public transport everyday and put your baby at a CC close to your workplace. But since you already bought, here are my suggestions:

1) As many pointed out, it is best to put baby at a CC as close to your home as possible. Imagine you are on leave/MC? Imagine you change job and the continuity is affected? Jurong East is no go. Considering your work timing, I would say putting somewhere in CBD is fine.
- If your wife is driving, just drop you and baby off in CBD. This would also relieve her the stress for driving "alone" with the baby onboard.
- If you are driving, just drop her off in CBD or along any MRT station along the way for her to continue taking public transport. Overall travel time should still be faster for her. MRT is much more reliable nowadays, but imagine if NE line break-down? The time saved would be even more!
- You can do likewise when going back, have your wife meet you in CBD. But frankly speaking, when going back, it would be much faster for her to take MRT all the way back. But then since you already have a car, you can consider meeting her along the way from JE to CBD for dinner and drive back home too.
- Don't ferry your wife to JE and back in the morning. A lot of time is being wasted there, especially during traffic jam. And it is uneconomical as well with the fuel wasted. I think it is okay to ferry her back from work though. As said earlier, you all can explore various eatery after work! Enjoy the lifestyle with a car!

2) Negotiate with your boss for flexi timing. Not sure on your official working hours, but lets say you come earlier at maybe 8 work till 5/5.30 + 0.5~1 hr "showface" OT, you can still be in time to fetch your infant back.
- It does not matter if your wife is not on same flexi-timing. This mean she just have to take public transport to work and back. This can be a blessing in disguise as she would have flexibility in travel time (no need to follow fixed schedule, can be early or late sometime) and work time (unexpected OT).

3) There are still some cheap parking in CBD, albeit with some walking distance. Look around some more.

4) The best long-term solution is for wife to drive, and drop you and baby off in CBD. Going to work should be fine. When back from work, if she need to OT, just her be. You just fetch the baby and take MRT back.

Not advisable to shift house to JE. What if you all change jobs? It is okay to shift house to somewhere more "central" to maintain the flexibility though (like tiong bahru, commonwealth, lavendar etc).

Solid and appreciated. Infant care near home

 

[xhlee87]

Whether or not I have kid(s) or not is not important.
Yes, I have search for infant care.
If you only search North, then shouldn't you be specific?
How you know I am not in the background indirectly helping. I keep low profile when I try to help. For your info, I have written to ask for information.
You can read all the parent forums and chat you want. You cannot does not means others also cannot.

So are you saying that you have a baby and is so tiring?
In your own words, different context :-
Conclusion, have u even managed to find out that having a baby could be tiring? If no, whatever planning u did have failed.

P.S. I don't usually go around saying I do this and that, I can why you cannot?

You don’t get it. No point explaining to you.

I already gave him advise and the toll of travelling so much.
And having kids without his hectic travel already so tiring and can’t image with his daily travel plan.
In short, get a maid is his answer to his problem.

If you are so helpful and did so much, then tell us which infant care open past 8pm. I am curious too.
Go ahead rebuke my sentence “No infant care open past 8pm”.

 

[keenklee]

You don’t get it. No point explaining to you.

I already gave him advise and the toll of travelling so much.
And having kids without his hectic travel already so tiring and can’t image with his daily travel plan.
In short, get a maid is his answer to his problem.

If you are so helpful and did so much, then tell us which infant care open past 8pm. I am curious too.
Go ahead rebuke my sentence “No infant care open past 8pm”.

And what is the point that I don't get, if there is a point or points in the first place?
I probably will help others, but definitely not you. You can continue to be curious.

Your original sentence was "There is no infant care that close at 8pm."
Now your sentence becomes “No infant care open past 8pm”.


Like I said, you have to be specific. Also, infant care that close at 7.30pm that is difficult to find, which are those ?

 

[xhlee87]

And what is the point that I don't get, if there is a point or points in the first place?
I probably will help others, but definitely not you. You can continue to be curious.

Your original sentence was "There is no infant care that close at 8pm."
Now your sentence becomes “No infant care open past 8pm”.


Like I said, you have to be specific. Also, infant care that close at 7.30pm that is difficult to find, which are those ?

Help me? I don’t even need your help. I don’t need infant care that close at 8pm.
TS needs one.
If u want to rebuke my sentence about no infant care close at 8pm or past 8pm.
Go ahead list them. If not stop telling my sentence is wrong.

For those 730pm, Agape, Little skool, learning vision, pat's sch & cherie.
Even u managed to find them, u also need to them to have slot for your baby which usually is 6 months to 1 year wait.
So does that sound easy to you? And why you think it is not difficult?

We gave up finding so we hired a maid. It is cheaper and solve most of the problems. There is none in north area anyway and most of them are in town for 730pm.
And all these were planning & decision were done even before baby is born.

Seriously, from your replies, i just feel u never did these before. It is really that difficult to find an infant care that has vacancy and close past 7pm.

 

[knightcover]

Both of you, last warning before you get an infraction.

Sent from Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regent of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons. using GAGT

 

[mryongtan]

For those 730pm, Agape, Little skool, learning vision, pat's sch & cherie.
Even u managed to find them, u also need to them to have slot for your baby which usually is 6 months to 1 year wait.
So does that sound easy to you? And why you think it is not difficult?

this is correct. there's a waiting list. you can't just get in as you wish. even then, rushing here & there would diminish your quality of life, which defeats the purpose of having a car. owning a car is to relax.

 

[crazythen]

Thanks all. Can close thread.

After listening to all the criticism and inputs of the arrangement, decided to beg my mum for the short term (c. 6months). Rationalizing with her all the plans etc (many thanks to the inputs here)., she decided to step in to help for the short term only post Confinement. Conditioned to get a helper to learn and support. When baby is 6-8 months old, can consider infant care / helper at home until playgroup age.

When mum steps in, all the worries in the world becomes inconsequential...
All the stress solved with one amazing woman saying yes. Ought to reflect ...

Since is a car thread, now I have 6 months for my spouse to turn pro.

 

[wahlaneh]

Problem solved if wife dont work and stay at home look after kids. This is old school but best solution. Solve all your headaches and timing problems.

But the issue is most husband dont earn enough to support wife/kids/car/house.

Sadly this is the truth.

 

[wlalala]

for your wife, let her drive as much as possible

when going out, let her drive and then you be vcomm

Very fast will become pro(assuming she is not a generally blur type of person)

a lot of the time driving is about the confidence

 

[hawthorne]

Thanks all. Can close thread.

After listening to all the criticism and inputs of the arrangement, decided to beg my mum for the short term (c. 6months). Rationalizing with her all the plans etc (many thanks to the inputs here)., she decided to step in to help for the short term only post Confinement. Conditioned to get a helper to learn and support. When baby is 6-8 months old, can consider infant care / helper at home until playgroup age.

When mum steps in, all the worries in the world becomes inconsequential...
All the stress solved with one amazing woman saying yes. Ought to reflect ...

Since is a car thread, now I have 6 months for my spouse to turn pro.

When grandparents look after kids, be prepared to have alot of disagreement between u vs parent, u vs wife and wife vs parent. Unless both of u r the bochup type.

Sent from 雪花飘飘北风啸啸, 天地一片苍茫
一剪寒梅, 傲立雪中, 只为伊人飘香 using GAGT

 

[shark78]

When grandparents look after kids, be prepared to have alot of disagreement between u vs parent, u vs wife and wife vs parent. Unless both of u r the bochup type.

Sent from 雪花飘飘北风啸啸, 天地一片苍茫
一剪寒梅, 傲立雪中, 只为伊人飘香 using GAGT

when grandparents take care, you need to learn to live with COE, close one eye. if not very difficult to live. learn to be deaf for some thing.