They say break the big problems to small steps to solve. But I been solving it bit by bit yet is still so far to the end of the tunnel.
My quality of life drop significantly since 12yo. Not that life was great before that but the true hell hardship started at 12yo. I was still too young to do anything besides endure and tell myself study hard and be diligent with money and also be a sensible child.
Fast forward to sec 3 finally reach legal age to work simple part time. And I took on 3 part time jobs while schooling and doing my best. Mon to Friday study. Fri,sat sun and school holidays work. And clear my homework and revision asap. All these while I'm staying at a slum with neighbours from hell and family abuser. Life was really poor but due to my efforts to maximise my time for money, saving up and forgo everything a teenage should have and also getting bursaries I'm already saving few thousands.
Everyday I tell myself just press on a little bit more once go poly study finish can work already. Life when on to poly. As usual I continue to work and study all the 3 years. Since sec 3 I nv stop working and studying. Before poly graduate managed to save at least 20k already.
Tell myself just work hard a bit more quickly pay off school loan and found a job. Though pay was low but I thought I can finally leave the pathetic HDB 1 room rental flat and joint name buy a flat with my mum. Yet HDB got all sorts of penalties. They say my mum is not 1st timer so no grant n HDB loan won't be 2.6%
How you expect me 21yo w at best 20+k savings n a 2k pay job be able to buy a flat w my mum if no grant or help?
Then I tell myself nv pressed on find a guy bto w me. But I was alr stuck in a toxic 5 yrs rs w an asshole. Waited for him to finish uni to realised he's been cheating n he nv want to settle down. Cry and move on w life. Told myself work even harder.
Finally before 25yo achieve my 1st 100k n hope to find a partner buy house w me. Well more hurdles again. And fast fwd tdy I'm still stuck here. Yes is a slum. Yes I'm stuck in this poverty nonsense, but am I rly poor? Financially no. But due to stupid sg housing policy I'm not able to get a place of my own. Renting is too costly and is always my wish to use my hands to build a house of my own so I rly DW waste money to rent.
Probably too drunk in sorrows to typed about all these. Wonder when my sanity will break and I'll just end it all. Meanwhile still got many side plot like I almost died many times, I almost got rape, I'm heavily physically abused etc. So ya, tell me, have I not work hard enough? I think I work harder than any fkxing human for sth so basic...
Tldr life sucks and I wish to end all these.
To all the *******kxers 20k Andy lau go ahead laugh at me Caz I too think my life is nth but a pathetic joke that sadistic higher up wants to play w.
