How to persuade son's fiance family to stop discouraging her from attending health-predictive genetic test before ROM?

[buttbERry]

how much does this test usually cost?

 

[havetheveryfun]

He is going to call off the wedding. Coz they want to do genetic test before ROM

thats why he left out the impt information. if like that of cos the family wont agree

 

[Dudick]

Must be bride price too low liao, just increase it

 

[Itsthatguy]

I'm a strong supporter of both couples taking genetic test for health prediction. This can avoid passing traits to children. We did the tests - my waifu and I. Not retail type tests like 23Me or Ancestry, but validated ones from hospitals. With annual health screening, the family can monitor and manage health issues. We are willing to bear the fees, several thousands for comprehensive suite for 2.

My son and his fiancé are in agreement. We shown them many medical journals, articles, website references. Hit and run is risky. Handling DS, or ADHD kids or children with congenital issues is expensive and time consuming.

But her family is objecting like there is no tomorrow. Reasons such as prying into privacy, discouraging marriage, look down on them, cursing them, take it or leave it, etc etc all came out. Her parents are both in early 50s. I would have thought they are fairly informed and educated.

Can anyone suggest how we should approach her family? She is adult and can make her own decision. However as the only child, the family thing becomes sticky.

We sat down a few times, emailed articles, and even tried to arrange meetings between them and physicians and geneticists, but they avoided.

Bringing up kids is expensive. A medically defective child is a nightmare. Unlike my generation where we hit and run, they both have a good opportunity to find out first.

Sigh.

There is a cheaper and non invasive method to find out.

Just ask who she voted for.

 

[maleisme]

waste time, waste moneh. just love ur kids can liao. y complicate things, dun need to lerrrr

 

[ST Optimist]

I'm a strong supporter of both couples taking genetic test for health prediction. This can avoid passing traits to children. We did the tests - my waifu and I. Not retail type tests like 23Me or Ancestry, but validated ones from hospitals. With annual health screening, the family can monitor and manage health issues. We are willing to bear the fees, several thousands for comprehensive suite for 2.

My son and his fiancé are in agreement. We shown them many medical journals, articles, website references. Hit and run is risky. Handling DS, or ADHD kids or children with congenital issues is expensive and time consuming.

But her family is objecting like there is no tomorrow. Reasons such as prying into privacy, discouraging marriage, look down on them, cursing them, take it or leave it, etc etc all came out. Her parents are both in early 50s. I would have thought they are fairly informed and educated.

Can anyone suggest how we should approach her family? She is adult and can make her own decision. However as the only child, the family thing becomes sticky.

We sat down a few times, emailed articles, and even tried to arrange meetings between them and physicians and geneticists, but they avoided.

Bringing up kids is expensive. A medically defective child is a nightmare. Unlike my generation where we hit and run, they both have a good opportunity to find out first.

Sigh.

Just break off. Lasting marriage n building family is not just about "love". If test results turn negative ...like cannot have children (eithet one problem, either one got disease) .can even call off the marriage....
- my own opinion only...

 

[qhong61]

how much does this test usually cost?

Tis is not the main concern

 

[fandango]

I'm a strong supporter of both couples taking genetic test for health prediction. This can avoid passing traits to children. We did the tests - my waifu and I. Not retail type tests like 23Me or Ancestry, but validated ones from hospitals. With annual health screening, the family can monitor and manage health issues. We are willing to bear the fees, several thousands for comprehensive suite for 2.

My son and his fiancé are in agreement. We shown them many medical journals, articles, website references. Hit and run is risky. Handling DS, or ADHD kids or children with congenital issues is expensive and time consuming.

But her family is objecting like there is no tomorrow. Reasons such as prying into privacy, discouraging marriage, look down on them, cursing them, take it or leave it, etc etc all came out. Her parents are both in early 50s. I would have thought they are fairly informed and educated.

Can anyone suggest how we should approach her family? She is adult and can make her own decision. However as the only child, the family thing becomes sticky.

We sat down a few times, emailed articles, and even tried to arrange meetings between them and physicians and geneticists, but they avoided.

Bringing up kids is expensive. A medically defective child is a nightmare. Unlike my generation where we hit and run, they both have a good opportunity to find out first.

Sigh.

She chio or not?

 

[qhong61]

Just break off. Lasting marriage n building family is not just about "love". If test results turn negative ...like cannot have children...can even call off the marriage....
- my own opinion only...

Then should done early during dating.
Not just before marriage.

 

[Overture1928]

Better convince your son to abort the relationship.

The rift between two families has already opened up. Imagine the disagreements and the predicament both your son and DiL will face in the future

 

[Lemonpeach]

i totally believe in having babies with good genes, but the approach must be sensitive. i screen all inlaw parents, grandparents & siblings visually. ask or observe their health, fitness, academics, diet. generally i find partners who have zero hospitalisation records. it's your best guarantee of good health. good looking but sick is bky. parents sick also bky

don't use genetic testing to insult your inlaws though. if they felt offended, don't do it. your intention may be good, but their feelings are more important

The idea is to attend various tests, records, and make an informed decision. Decision-making in a flow diagramatic style. Not hit by surprises.

 

[Lemonpeach]

There are 1000s of diseases how to pick which one to test? Can test for autism?

Doctors usually ask you to go for genetic tests if you have a family history.

Main ones related to organs and mental. Hospitals suggest parallel to health-screening battery, so that physicians can zoom in.

 

[XiaoChilli]

Just break off. Lasting marriage n building family is not just about "love". If test results turn negative ...like cannot have children (eithet one problem, either one got disease) .can even call off the marriage....
- my own opinion only...

If his own son one is negative result den can go shave be a monk liao.

 

[qhong61]

Like I said might as well do it before dating.
Waste so much time to ROM stage then ltr find out genes not good.

Declare during first date

 

[Lemonpeach]

Better convince your son to abort the relationship.

The rift between two families has already opened up. Imagine the disagreements and the predicament both your son and DiL will face in the future

No la. The idea is to possess information for an informed decision-making.

If tests turned positive but both couples willing to marry, without kids, so be it. They can foster or adopt. It is important to discover, plan and not be hit by surprises.

 

[buttbERry]

Tis is not the main concern

eh one line reply

 

[Acetone]

They probably feel insulted…

 

[qhong61]

No la. The idea is to possess information for an informed decision-making.

If tests turned positive but both couples willing to marry, without kids, so be it. They can foster or adopt. It is important to discover, plan and not be hit by surprises.

Tis is last minute

 

[qhong61]

eh one line reply

Ur reply is not helpful to this thread

 

[buttbERry]

Ur reply is not helpful to this thread

my reply is helpful or not is your opinion

best to keep your opinion to yourself