Been a month...realise I still like her alot

[plpl20]

that's true; she doesn't seem to have feelings. but he's creating opportunities for her to develop them by being present, in the background, being a friend. not saying it'll work, but at least he's trying.

Exactly what I think. Better than not trying...

 

[plpl20]

i suggest not to ask her out yet. i feel maybe group outings where there are more people, less pressure, might be something more palatable to her.

from what you've shared, i think you may need more time to get her to feel more comfortable around you than if you hadn't suggested eating out together previously. feel like that may have been a step backwards based on her reaction and your subsequent interactions. doing so again would show her you can't 'read the room' and might make it even less likely for any progress. she already seems apprehensive when you mentioned cafe?

I also thought of asking her out for group lunches. others ask her too but she will prefer to dabao. Only join us once. Think she eat her takeaway quickly or eat while working. She mention before she try to not work on weekend or OT.

 

[plpl20]

haha. ok, maybe i phrased wrongly. should be lunch with colleagues rather than group outing.

don't think he needs to impress her or outshine other colleagues. basically these are just opportunities to spend time together, whether or not he sits next to her, or gets to talk to her much, it's a low-pressure setting that she's more likely to agree to? allows them to be closer as colleagues, if nothing else. especially since he's not in a rush and doesn't have many opportunities to work with her. aiya, you know la. it worked for me, so hoping it'll work for ts.

Thanks bro. Appreciate the thoughts. Difficult coz she rarely join group lunch even. maybe will only join if the guy she like ask her.

 

[plpl20]

Suppose he really wants a remote chance at romance, he needs to figure out what she is looking out for in a partner first.

If he can meet most of the requirements or become the man she is looking out for, maybe still got some small hope.

I'm practical.

Planning to ask when she's more comfortable but not now or so soon. Maybe will have kaypoh colleagues helping without knowing when we bump into her like the last time lol

 

[plpl20]

She knows about it mah?
& does she like you too?

She should be aware somehow. i ask her out before. i know she don't have feeling for me yet coz she likely still like another guy (found out when colleagues kaypoh ask her). But I think no devopment between them so...

 

[Can Or Not]

Got her watsapp? most important

 

[plpl20]

TS has some idea of what to do next from his replies.
But dun even try to tink of romance now. Think how to make her feel comfortable with him first before anything else.
Leaving snacks or food for her on the table without asking can only work once or twice. Too many times will make you become a nuisance if she has no feeling for you and it will not be romantic for her.

Also, u have to know what kind of character she is. Is she a serious, talkative, cheerful or quiet person then you will know how to talk to her, make her laugh or even open up to you on some of her personal or daily stuff.

Sometimes being nice or try too many times doesnt work if both your style or what she is currently looking at is different. When you are not the main character in a drama, u just dun get the way you want.
So as i said before, maybe you can just 'disappear' for a while and it might instead trigger her curiosity to come and talk to you instead. If she doesnt, then you know the answer very clearly.

I won't leave snacks that often, i know she receive quite alot of snacks from different people. Just a way for me to start and continue convos till she's more comfortable with me... she is the friendly kind who will think through first before saying, base on my work experience with her. Quiet mostly but can chat if closer and quite cheerful, smiley when responding. Make you feel confortable talking to her but I just feel abit nervous coz I am also seeing her response/expression and react accordingly.

 

[plpl20]

Ts already said if he asked her now, she will reject. I think that already tells us quite a bit in terms of physical attraction. Unless TS is a 富二代 (obviously not, if not we won't be here), it's unlikely to happen so why waste time? It's important to ask the girl out 1-1. Because it's a litmus test of she finds you sufficiently attractive, such that shes not embarrassed being seen with you. That's a minimum bar actually. And since as partners you see each other everyday, having some basic physical attraction is still important.

Honestly I think it's mainly coz she still likes another guy. I dress quite well and neat, go to the gym when I can to keep fit so I don't think physical looks is the problem...

 

[plpl20]

There are things one can do to look better before looking for someone to mate. Lose weight, stay in shape, dress properly, upkeep skin condition. Shave. Get a better haircut.

Mention above, I exercise regularly, eat quite healthily and make effort to dress quite well.

 

[plpl20]

if a man can hurt so many people for his own self gratification, what does that tell u about his character lol. even at work, be wary of such people, he is selfish, i wouldn't hire someone like that if i want to hire someone i can rely on. for certain scummy roles, yea he can be hired, but if i want a harmonious working environment, i won't hire such selfish scums, he wont have second thoughts about backstabbing others to get ahead

Agree. @Kaylin don't think about him anymore. many better guys out there.

 

[plpl20]

You need to learn more in-depth on how women works in different ways than men. #redpill

Thanks, I understand where you coming from but I don't wanna pretend to ignore her or along this line. it will backfire.

 

[plpl20]

Hmm getting creepy again the last part.

It doesn’t work that way bro.

For example, a dino bu or someone in office you don’t feel attracted to at all, she keeps giving you snacks and tries to talk to you. Out of courtesy you take lor. Free keropok also.

Then let’s say she tries to ask you out, will you accept and agree to go out with someone you don’t even feel for at all? Don’t say go for a date, even go out as colleagues or friends also got difficulty liao.

Go out doesn’t mean = date hor (you think is date, to her is 跟同事吃个饭而已)
Kiss doesn’t mean couple. Had sex together doesn’t mean anything also.

Will you even try to go and try to develop feelings for her? Question is, why must you try?

And in reality, why must she try to know you better? When she doesn’t even approach you herself.

不是努力不放弃就有结果，不是work OT，早到晚回就会有promotion

日久生情? a possibility? Someone posted before and it work for them. If the person try hard enough, there are examples of that in real life, around me too. I have friends who develop feelings for colleague over time and get together, now married with kids. I know effort does not equal reward, but at least I won't regret not putting in effort.

 

[plpl20]

just be friends first talk cock and be nature, dun act so interested

once you all can be friends already then can ask out for dinner like friends what, test water but act nature. you can still date other peolle

after a while more when you really quite good friends already then you will know when you can confess and what chance you have.

if now she not even close or comfortable with you, everythings is mostly likely no chance

if you are hung up on her your chance is zero, go date other to get more exp with oppposite gender you will also know yourself better and know how much and who you really like and you also give off less despo vibes

Thanks bro, that's what I'm doing. let her be more comfortable first, when she finally give up on that guy, she know I'm there. I gone on dates before when younger, so I know what type I like and don't like. but to be honest, I didn't really like those girls, just try and end up I really don't have any feeling strong enough to continue.

 

[plpl20]

Mybfd. Not used to it but need to learn to accept that he is gone…

Anyway… TS needs to understand and learn that in romance, efforts don’t mean results.

When a person likes you, he or she can do and is willing to do so many things for you, without you even lifting a finger, without you even asking. He or she will make it easy for you.

If a person is attracted to you (in whatever ways, physically, emotionally, sexually, or financially), the person is willing to sleep with you even if you ish not good looking or ish got some belly or balding, etc. 吸引力就是吸引力 with no logic and proper explanation one. It can also come suddenly and leave suddenly, like a gust of wind. Such is life.

From what had already been described (female colleague rejected going out with TS, she did not initiate conversation, they didn’t even text or maybe didn’t even have phone numbers exchanged at all, TS always need to try so hard to talk, etc), sorry to say there is no foundation, no chemistry, and there is very little to no attraction from her end. Pursuing and doing more may backfire. Confessing is silly, I have never confess to anyone. With such foundation, confessing to her lagi more jialat. Do not confess (again), TS.

Last paragraph, exactly what i think. You seem to understand and know my thinking quite well lol. I won't confess unlike some posters who keep asking me to do so. Not a good time now.

 

[plpl20]

Got her watsapp? most important

Yes coz we work tog before but I seldom message her don't wanna bother her. If really send messages that time, it's really work related and v seldom. Even when it was her birthday, I wish her personally and with something

 

[Can Or Not]

Yes coz we work tog before but I seldom message her don't wanna bother her. If really send messages that time, it's really work related and v seldom. Even when it was her birthday, I wish her personally and with something

Still like her so much? so many months Liao…

 

[Kanko San]

Still like her so much? so many months Liao…

Ya lor.

Those Ah Beng, within 3 mth, already hv sax with new find Ah Lian.

 

[Zianfranco Gola]

Have you tried masturbating?

 

[congster2]

Mention above, I exercise regularly, eat quite healthily and make effort to dress quite well.

If u know she likes another guy, then just move on bah. It's an ocean out there. So many fishes. 不用在这棵树上吊死. If you are still young, take your time.

 

[psyger-zero]

wow this thread is for real?still ongoing.