Been a month...realise I still like her alot

[Spike]

haha. ok, maybe i phrased wrongly. should be lunch with colleagues rather than group outing.

don't think he needs to impress her or outshine other colleagues. basically these are just opportunities to spend time together, whether or not he sits next to her, or gets to talk to her much, it's a low-pressure setting that she's more likely to agree to? allows them to be closer as colleagues, if nothing else. especially since he's not in a rush and doesn't have many opportunities to work with her. aiya, you know la. it worked for me, so hoping it'll work for ts.

Suppose he really wants a remote chance at romance, he needs to figure out what she is looking out for in a partner first.

If he can meet most of the requirements or become the man she is looking out for, maybe still got some small hope.

I'm practical.

 

[kodomo80]

TS has some idea of what to do next from his replies.
But dun even try to tink of romance now. Think how to make her feel comfortable with him first before anything else.
Leaving snacks or food for her on the table without asking can only work once or twice. Too many times will make you become a nuisance if she has no feeling for you and it will not be romantic for her.

Also, u have to know what kind of character she is. Is she a serious, talkative, cheerful or quiet person then you will know how to talk to her, make her laugh or even open up to you on some of her personal or daily stuff.

Sometimes being nice or try too many times doesnt work if both your style or what she is currently looking at is different. When you are not the main character in a drama, u just dun get the way you want.
So as i said before, maybe you can just 'disappear' for a while and it might instead trigger her curiosity to come and talk to you instead. If she doesnt, then you know the answer very clearly.

 

[oOBubbleOo]

Yes, i mention before also. maybe to do with timing. The other guy appear first.

TS jin steady pom pi pi for taking time to reply. uncle sappork you. will camp here for your updates.

 

[congster2]

TS likes can liao

Ts already said if he asked her now, she will reject. I think that already tells us quite a bit in terms of physical attraction. Unless TS is a 富二代 (obviously not, if not we won't be here), it's unlikely to happen so why waste time? It's important to ask the girl out 1-1. Because it's a litmus test of she finds you sufficiently attractive, such that shes not embarrassed being seen with you. That's a minimum bar actually. And since as partners you see each other everyday, having some basic physical attraction is still important.

 

[Sen Sen]

She knows about it mah?
& does she like you too?

 

[kodomo80]

Ts already said if he asked her now, she will reject. I think that already tells us quite a bit in terms of physical attraction. Unless TS is a 富二代 (obviously not, if not we won't be here), it's unlikely to happen so why waste time? It's important to ask the girl out 1-1. Because it's a litmus test of she finds you sufficiently attractive, such that shes not embarrassed being seen with you. That's a minimum bar actually. And since as partners you see each other everyday, having some basic physical attraction is still important.

it all happens to us lah, must ownself bang wall then will wake up. So as long TS likes, just let him do it haha

 

[congster2]

it all happens to us lah, must ownself bang wall then will wake up. So as long TS likes, just let him do it haha

True. It's a numbers game. Try enough times and one will succeed. So the best thing to do is try and bang wall/fail fast until one finds the correct person.

 

[congster2]

There are things one can do to look better before looking for someone to mate. Lose weight, stay in shape, dress properly, upkeep skin condition. Shave. Get a better haircut.

 

[CanIsayNo]

I know. The WHAT IF. COULD BE. COULD HAVE.
Still doesn’t hide the fact that he lied about his marital status mah.

He lied to you, he lied to his wife / cheated on his wife about his affair. With such character it is good you left him. No need to feel 可惜 one no matter how good you think he was, how promising he was as a partner, etc.

if a man can hurt so many people for his own self gratification, what does that tell u about his character lol. even at work, be wary of such people, he is selfish, i wouldn't hire someone like that if i want to hire someone i can rely on. for certain scummy roles, yea he can be hired, but if i want a harmonious working environment, i won't hire such selfish scums, he wont have second thoughts about backstabbing others to get ahead

 

[madcampus]

Wasting time if you only like this girl and not others, no?

You need to learn more in-depth on how women works in different ways than men. #redpill

 

[Red Ronin]

I realized this thing about life really.

Be a limited edition person.

Think of yourself as a Labubu.

Nobody gives a F about Rattata but everyone wants a Mew.

 

[Monstruo^]

You are right. i mention before I don't wanna scare her off. She's quite friendly, not so awkward now. Though I sense some reservation when I talk about a cafe. I didn't ask her out, just said casually she can try out when she's less busy. When I sense it's a good timing, will ask her out again. Maybe after a date, she will know me better and develop feelings.

Hmm getting creepy again the last part.

It doesn’t work that way bro.

For example, a dino bu or someone in office you don’t feel attracted to at all, she keeps giving you snacks and tries to talk to you. Out of courtesy you take lor. Free keropok also.

Then let’s say she tries to ask you out, will you accept and agree to go out with someone you don’t even feel for at all? Don’t say go for a date, even go out as colleagues or friends also got difficulty liao.

Go out doesn’t mean = date hor (you think is date, to her is 跟同事吃个饭而已)
Kiss doesn’t mean couple. Had sex together doesn’t mean anything also.

Will you even try to go and try to develop feelings for her? Question is, why must you try?

And in reality, why must she try to know you better? When she doesn’t even approach you herself.

不是努力不放弃就有结果，不是work OT，早到晚回就会有promotion

 

[Mila Azul]

 

[Spike]

Hmm getting creepy again the last part.

It doesn’t work that way bro.

For example, a dino bu or someone in office you don’t feel attracted to at all, she keeps giving you snacks and tries to talk to you. Out of courtesy you take lor. Free keropok also.

Then let’s say she tries to ask you out, will you accept and agree to go out with someone you don’t even feel for at all? Don’t say go for a date, even go out as colleagues or friends also got difficulty liao.

Go out doesn’t mean = date hor. Kiss doesn’t mean couple. Had sex together doesn’t mean anything also.

Will you even try to go and try to develop feelings for her? Question is, why must you try?

And in reality, why must she try to know you better? When she doesn’t even approach you herself.

不是努力不放弃就有结果，不是work OT，早到晚回就会有promotion

I like this statement. 一句点醒。

My condolences regarding the passing of your dad.

 

[cranthir]

just be friends first talk cock and be natural, dun act so interested

once you all can be friends already then can ask out for dinner like friends what, test water but act natural. you can still date other people

after a while more when you really quite good friends already then you will know when you can confess and what chance you have.

if now she not even close or comfortable with you, everything is mostly likely no chance

if you are hung up on her your chance is zero, go date other to get more exp with opposite gender you will also know yourself better and know how much and who you really like and you also give off less despo vibes

 

[Red Ronin]

Hmm getting creepy again the last part.

It doesn’t work that way bro.

For example, a dino bu or someone in office you don’t feel attracted to at all, she keeps giving you snacks and tries to talk to you. Out of courtesy you take lor. Free keropok also.

Then let’s say she tries to ask you out, will you accept and agree to go out with someone you don’t even feel for at all? Don’t say go for a date, even go out as colleagues or friends also got difficulty liao.

Go out doesn’t mean = date hor (you think is date, to her is 跟同事吃个饭而已)
Kiss doesn’t mean couple. Had sex together doesn’t mean anything also.

Will you even try to go and try to develop feelings for her? Question is, why must you try?

And in reality, why must she try to know you better? When she doesn’t even approach you herself.

不是努力不放弃就有结果，不是work OT，早到晚回就会有promotion

Agreed with u on this.

Work smart, not work hard.

Working hard is too easy.

 

[Monstruo^]

I like this statement. 一句点醒。

My condolences regarding the passing of your dad.

Mybfd. Not used to it but need to learn to accept that he is gone…

Anyway… TS needs to understand and learn that in romance, efforts don’t mean results.

When a person likes you, he or she can do and is willing to do so many things for you, without you even lifting a finger, without you even asking. He or she will make it easy for you.

If a person is attracted to you (in whatever ways, physically, emotionally, sexually, or financially), the person is willing to sleep with you even if you ish not good looking or ish got some belly or balding, etc. 吸引力就是吸引力 with no logic and proper explanation one. It can also come suddenly and leave suddenly, like a gust of wind. Such is life.

From what had already been described (female colleague rejected going out with TS, she did not initiate conversation, they didn’t even text or maybe didn’t even have phone numbers exchanged at all, TS always need to try so hard to talk, etc), sorry to say there is no foundation, no chemistry, and there is very little to no attraction from her end. Pursuing and doing more may backfire. Confessing is silly, I have never confess to anyone. With such foundation, confessing to her lagi more jialat. Do not confess (again), TS.

 

[plpl20]

I think you are overthinking and over-analyzing.

Flirting is just a skill. Being good at it doesn't make you a player. You can certainly use it for "bad" and be a player. Or you can use it for "good" to just be socially magnetic. Rather than creating a checklist to figure out what she does or doesn't like (which really doesn't work at all), the best way is to create chemistry with her.

And the only way to do that is to "flirt" with her. Now, flirting is a dial - it isn't on or off, but there are levels that you can turn up or down depending on the situation or rapport you have with someone. Perhaps a better term without negative connotations is playful, Being playful. It may come natural to some more than others, but it's a skill that can be developed.

Food for thought.

Interesting. I read about conversation starters. What you are suggesting seem to go beyond. Any examples?

 

[plpl20]

yk her impression of you wont change unless you do something very drastic right? you'll forever be this slightly weird and awkward but friendly co-worker to her.

just go crash and burn. after she reject you then move on. for both your sanity and hers.

At this stage, definitely risk being rejected.

 

[plpl20]

TS likes can liao

Maybe different girls, different preferences, different approaches