How to successfully chase a guy? What guys like?

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Wyattbird

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Usually guys are very visual creatures. But caveat - girls we chase for potential wife is different for girls we chase for dating.

If it's for wife, then it will depend on his preference. Some like ladies who treat families well, some like those who can cook well, some like those who are smart, some like those who are talented in other things etc. Long story short, find out how he interacts with the female members in his family. Chances are, he'll go for the same.
 
haveyourcake

haveyourcake

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Spike said:
We have a model example here! :o

Kindly retract your statement! 😡
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jokes aside tho, this is really true. I have a few single friends in their 30s who dont date because they are afraid of rejection, end up their whole life never go on an actual date before. applies to both males and females - if you are interested, let them know.

if you single by choice after dating and getting into a relationship, then sure. but if you're single because you shy/ scared to move forward, then there's a lot you need to work on.
 
havetheveryfun

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haveyourcake said:
jokes aside tho, this is really true. I have a few single friends in their 30s who dont date because they are afraid of rejection, end up their whole life never go on an actual date before. applies to both males and females - if you are interested, let them know.

if you single by choice after dating and getting into a relationship, then sure. but if you're single because you shy/ scared to move forward, then there's a lot you need to work on.
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by letting them know do you mean like just telling a random girl on the street ?

or big companies that you maybe see a female colleague you interested but you have never talked or worked ith her before?

or need to be at least friends and have their number ?

because I see most is they dont meet any new female friends. so how to even tell or proceed. if they try to meet new female friends in public setting some may think is harassment.
 
Spike

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haveyourcake said:
jokes aside tho, this is really true. I have a few of single friends in their 30s who dont date because they are afraid of rejection, end up their whole life never go on an actual date before. applies to both males and females - if you are interested, let them know.

if you single by choice after dating and getting into a relationship, then sure. but if you're single because you shy/ scared to move forward, then there's a lot you need to work on.
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Objectively, "afraid of rejection" have two categories of people:
1. People who have real options to reject
2. People who assume in his mind that they have opportunity to reject.

How can someone who had never gone on an actual date in his life assumed that there is someone who will reject him in the first place?

In my opinion, that is not a valid excuse. 骗自己而已。
 
haveyourcake

haveyourcake

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havetheveryfun said:
by letting them know do you mean like just telling a random girl on the street ?

or big companies that you maybe see a female colleague you interested but you have never talked or worked ith her before?

or need to be at least friends and have their number ?

because I see most is they dont meet any new female friends. so how to even tell or proceed. if they try to meet new female friends in public setting some may think is harassment.
Click to expand...
if you're talking about picking up random women on the street/ mrt/ shopping mall, tbh SG doesn't really have a pickup culture and MOST local women are quite reserved. But this kind the face card must be damn up there - no need Andy Lau level, but at least above average + look like you work out. And even then you should expect to be rejected more often than not unless your face is really korean oppa.

what works is always dont be a creep. meaning:
i) go get your health in order, dont look like a bbfa (yes, looks still matter for a vast majority of people)
ii) start small, nod and smile if you see someone cute in the office. if they reciprocate start to slowly scale up to a convo "ive seen you around recently, are you new?", "how was your weekend" and try to find common topics. extra note that you should try to do this to everyone, not just women in the office. because talking to more people about random things and making more friends helps you to loosen up more in the office, and your image will change from the creep that always talks to young fresh female hires to the friendly guy in office.

aside from this, find new hobbies and join meetup groups like run clubs. go there with the intent to find like-minded people and enjoy your hobby. Note that you must NEVER EVER join with the sole intent to date, because everyone can smell desperation from a mile away. if you find someone cute there, good for you. if not, you've just made 15 more friends that know you're a decent guy that's single and available and you'll get more people trying to set you up.

finally, dating apps lol.
 
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ch0cobo

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hmmm... not a guy, but I'd say it's an art of striking a balance. Firstly you shouldn't go after someone who is all tens across the board (unless you're also a ten yourself - even then, it's gonna be risky because those types of guys will never settle down tbh haha). So maybe aim a little higher on the attributes you care more about, and lower your expectations on the others. Next you can't appear too overly eager so again it's a balance of being approachable or holding back a bit... And lastly you'll have to constantly maintain yourself visually, mentally, physically, keep up to date with current affairs, have a hobby that you're genuinely interested in... and then fingers crossed that it's good enough. If it's not, at least you've put your best foot forward and all the time you've invested in self improvement would've put you in a positive mindset
 
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nasfieldjohn

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Chocoz said:
qAb0wUe.gif


Where got time for this shiat? Who cares?
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anime chiobu spotted
 
Whirling_Dervish

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IAmChiobu12M said:
How does my post indicate no guys chase? I'm asking how to score top 1% guy when all the girls want. And got guys chase doesn't mean got guys I like and I wanna chase I succeed.
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It really depends on which part of the 1% spectrum you are referring to. Would you prefer men from old money families, or self-made nouveau riche?

The common denominator for both is that there has to be physical attraction, with the both of you being on the same frequency. The former isn't too difficult to achieve; the beauty standards in Singapore is not as high as that in say Korea or Japan. Most Singaporean Chinese men subscribe to East Asian beauty standards; think doe eyes, long voluminous hair, a slender physique, and a fair complexion. A woman with these qualities would be easily considered above average back in Singapore. Chasing someone without mutual physical attraction would likely be perceived as harrassment.

On the other hand, being on the same frequency is much harder. It isn't easy to fake having the same vibes on being on the same page overnight, especially to the discerning eye. This usually has to be cultivated over time.

I found that men from old money families differ from the self-made nouveau riche in their taste of women in that the former generally prefers sophisticated women, while the latter prefers those with the "girl-next-door" vibes. Men from established families usually like their partners who can carry themselves well and are good conversationalists; fluent in both current affairs and small talk, as well as non-verbal communication. Marrying into these families with parental approval usually requires one to be from a similar family background. They always love saying "If we know where you come from, then we can tell where you will be going".

But again, this is just my personal observation distilled from my limited personal experience and encounters.
 
haveyourcake

haveyourcake

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Spike said:
Objectively, "afraid of rejection" have two categories of people:
1. People who have real options to reject
2. People who assume in his mind that they have opportunity to reject.

How can someone who had never gone on an actual date in his life assumed that there is someone who will reject him in the first place?

In my opinion, that is not a valid excuse. 骗自己而已。
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I get where you are coming from, but some people have really low self-esteem.

One guy feels like women will hiam his job, so he's trying to climb higher before he starts to even go on a dating app. Another one thinks hes too ugly 无药可救, so on and so forth. Trust me, I have tried. I even tried persuading one of them over a weekend to at least set up a profile, but he wants to wait until he's "good enough". How good is good enough really? There is a serious lack of self love in some people, and very hard to psycho them out of it. Tbh, hanging around them too much you will also feel damn sien.
 
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