去婚礼给红包 是帮新人“买单”？

[Calis_Yoda]

And guess what..? Only our race chinese is like that. Others make it simple. Chinese like face so much also. That's why want make wedding big big and spend until like that.
I also very sian with own culture

Guess what? The recent wedding I was invited to and attended saw the groom's father wearing the upper part of a 黄马褂, though a short-sleeved one and fitting pants. No, not a plain gold/yellow one. It has some sewings or drawings/designs on it. One can easily guess his personality, mindset and behavior. What makes him stand out was all the rest of the (2) families and guests are all wearing western fashion (dresses and collared long-sleeves) and he was the only 1 wearing that.

 

[appleorange_]

that is one of the reasons of course

problem is if u think that is the main reason

if is close fren or wadever one, then may not be so

 

[PAP4ever]

yes... its a shitty culture.

tats y the new ginnapis... all wan to host in atas place and sexpects u to giv big angpow juz so they can cover their costs.

imo, head not big dun wear big hat.... y must host at 5 star hotel and if ppl dun giv enuf angpow u kpkb

 

[Calis_Yoda]

yes... its a shitty culture.

tats y the new ginnapis... all wan to host in atas place and sexpects u to giv big angpow juz so they can cover their costs.

imo, head not big dun wear big hat.... y must host at 5 star hotel and if ppl dun giv enuf angpow u kpkb

Worse, some even include bottles of champagne and red wine, and free to order by the guests and families if they want to choose from the champagne/red wine menu list.

Note: It is BOTTLE, not by the glass.

 

[Ronaldo88]

Someone got to pay..and someone get to huat.. although getting expensive, ridiculous but still there will ppl paying for it..moi go kl wedding rm500 for 2pax

 

[PAP4ever]

Worse, some even include bottles of champagne and red wine, and free to order by the guests and families if they want to choose from the champagne/red wine menu list.

Note: It is BOTTLE, not by the glass.

atas.. i peasant.. nvr go such weddings b4.. lol. arbo the hosts will pokgai if got guests tat are drinkers.

 

[Lareina]

Guess what? The recent wedding I was invited to and attended saw the groom's father wearing the upper part of a 黄马褂, though a short-sleeved one and fitting pants. No, not a plain gold/yellow one. It has some sewings or drawings/designs on it. One can easily guess his personality, mindset and behavior. What makes him stand out was all the rest of the (2) families and guests are all wearing western fashion (dresses and collared long-sleeves) and he was the only 1 wearing that.

Means still traditional mindset loh.
Soon new gens are not interested in all these culture thing.
I find wedding very mafan. I dun want organise such wedding banquet for mine (if i ever get married). I dun like going round tables heeheehaahaa entertaining people. My marriage my issue. Just ROM can liao. Most impt is the housing. Now everything getting expensive. Why spend so much for wedding if end up quarrel over money? I hate talking about money issues. Just settle marrying sweet, simple and quick. Dun need waste money dun need show off.

 

[Calis_Yoda]

Means still traditional mindset loh.
Soon new gens are not interested in all these culture thing.
I find wedding very mafan. I dun want organise such wedding banquet for mine (if i ever get married). I dun like going round tables heeheehaahaa entertaining people. My marriage my issue. Just ROM can liao. Most impt is the housing. Now everything getting expensive. Why spend so much for wedding if end up quarrel over money? I hate talking about money issues. Just settle marrying sweet, simple and quick. Dun need waste money dun need show off.

Same. Else can just do a small, simple catered wedding buffet with a small group of friends and family will do. Have them witness the wedding ceremony, then photo-taking and short buffet can liao. Much more cosy, less stressful and no need to do all that faking entertaining.

 

[TiedInsurer]

Usually groom will be very sian spend so much money on the banquet.

But first obstacle to overcome will be the elders. His own, and his wife's. Elders will demand a good banquet, for the face. After that will be the wife. Want her fairy tale wedding. It's hard to get past both obstacles and forgo an expensive and pointless banquet.

For me, i settle the wife by bribing her. I tell her my budget is $X. I can spend it all on a very lavish wedding, or i can save on the banquet, and divert more funds to a better honeymoon package and a nice handbag and some Chaumet jewellry.

But in the end, couldn't get past objections from the elders. LLST still have to waste money on a banquet. And this is why i remember those who objected the hardest, but gave tiny ang bao.

 

[Lareina]

Same. Else can just do a small, simple catered wedding buffet with a small group of friends and family will do. Have them witness the wedding ceremony, then photo-taking and short buffet can liao.

If within budget i dun mind give in. But my partner says must big big cuz he has many relatives. And my mom also want face. Damn sian. So i told him, i won't marry if like that.
But i dun think he will give in

 

[cet87]

recently got invited for wedding dinner, was told straight to the face minimum angbao is $200 per pax because it is an ATAS hotel.

I rejected and said not free.

 

[jack-320]

It is a once in a lifetime money making opportunity

but if they incurred a loss

they have nothing to say

 

[Calis_Yoda]

If within budget i dun mind give in. But my partner says must big big cuz he has many relatives. And my mom also want face. Damn sian. So i told him, i won't marry if like that.
But i dun think he will give in

Yeah, potentially the 1st big quarrel that may lead to say bye bye to each other even before officially getting married. Family values, cultures and mindsets tbh. By right, this is a serious issue to talk between bf/gf when they want to go further and have plans to get married, maybe even before the guy's proposal and engagement.

 

[TiedInsurer]

Yeah, potentially the 1st big quarrel that may lead to say bye bye to each other even before officially getting married. Family values, cultures and mindsets tbh. By right, this is a serious issue to talk between bf/gf when they want to go further and have plans to get married, maybe even before the guy's proposal and engagement.

Sometimes bf/gf talk also no use. They might agree on something, but if family disagrees, they can still be strongarmed into doing what family wants. I used to think marriage is between two people. But turns out, marriage is really between two families. It's not as simple as "just ignore them la", unless both of you are prepared to alienate them. Chances are, one of you aren't ready to do that.

 

[Calis_Yoda]

Sometimes bf/gf talk also no use. They might agree on something, but if family disagrees, they can still be strongarmed into doing what family wants. I used to think marriage is between two people. But turns out, marriage is really between two families. It's not as simple as "just ignore them la", unless you are prepared to alienate them.

Yes, you are right that marriage is between 2 families mostly in asian culture That's why bf gf have to know well enough of each other's family, their values, cultures and mindsets during their dating period. Have to think further and deeper of this questions of:
"Do I want to spend/share the rest my life with him/her and this type of family?
"How about my kid(s)? Do I want them to be taught/inculcated with these mindsets, values and behaviors?"

If the answers are NO, then better don't get married to each other.

 

[Lareina]

Sometimes bf/gf talk also no use. They might agree on something, but if family disagrees, they can still be strongarmed into doing what family wants. I used to think marriage is between two people. But turns out, marriage is really between two families. It's not as simple as "just ignore them la", unless both of you are prepared to alienate them. Chances are, one of you aren't ready to do that.

But this kind of thing is only asian culture nia. Ang mo where got the idea marriage is between 2 families. That's why they so chill less stress. We chinese need to consider this and that and put others before ownself. Tats why damn sian loh.

 

[Loratadine10mg]

Then don't go la

 

[zeroX26]

atas.. i peasant.. nvr go such weddings b4.. lol. arbo the hosts will pokgai if got guests tat are drinkers.

Won't pokgai lah kao. If you know you have guests who like to drink, just bring in your own boxes of wine and hard liquor. Most wedding banquet places allow that, just need to get let them know in advance.

 

[lkong]

married couple think very got face so throw big dinner, guests most ly frown because need to pay money since got invited and they rather not get invited. Married couple pretend not to know.

the whole deal is so fake, yet the married couple and their family like so enjoy.....

 

[Calis_Yoda]

married couple think very got face so throw big dinner, guests most ly frown because need to pay money since got invited and they rather not get invited. Married couple pretend not to know.

the whole deal is so fake, yet the married couple and their family like so enjoy.....

You missed out on the part that some groom's or bride's egoistic, pompous father making long speeches. That 1 is really totally switch off and for guests.