Groom’s parents throw tantrums and threaten “they won’t come to the wedding” because relatives weren’t invited

[Asy1um]

Solution is simple, they want how many relatives come also can, parents top up lo

 

[tidiii]

Useless groom. It's just the beginning.

its his parents causing the fuss lol

 

[fortunecat]

Either dun have the dinner, if not have to invite relatives lah. Ask their parents wear sui sui then sit there whole night diam diam face the couple's frens meh

 

[Mountainnodew]

Her closest friends will understand her predicament so she can use their seats for the groom’s relatives. Just make sure they turn up. It’s wiser to give in to the in-laws request before entry into the family hierarchy. Becos it’s the first impression they are giving to the relatives. And if the relatives are closely connected to her in-laws, whatever they said will surely affect the in laws. So whether she will be treated nice or not by her in laws is up to how she present herself to her relatives. In fact rightfully she should prioritise the relatives before her friends because relatives are related to the groom and they watched him grow up.

 

[doratch]

SINGAPORE: A soon-to-be bride recently shared on social media that she is having a hard time proceeding with the wedding plans because the groom’s parents are throwing a huge fit over the guest list.

In a post on r/askSingapore, she shared that she and her partner opted for a small, intimate wedding, inviting only their closest friends and immediate family who have been supportive of their relationship. They’ve already booked a beautiful venue for 20 guests and finalized their guest list.

However, the groom’s parents are now causing a major uproar. “He informed his parents and now they’re throwing big tantrums saying that they aren’t going to come anymore because we are “secretly” getting married because all his relatives won’t know, and we are rude for not giving them tables to pick their own guests,” she wrote.

“Big big problem because we have already added the dad as the solemnisation witness (he wanted to be added), any chance of changing it now? and is it better to suck up and spend another 20k to upscale or is it feasible to say just don’t come.”

Her partner has also tried talking to his parents about this issue, but to no avail. “His parents will just storm off and refuse to talk to him when he brings up any little thing that doesn’t suit what they want,” she noted.

Adding to their stress, the groom’s parents have not offered any financial assistance for the extra tables, meaning the couple would be responsible for the entire additional cost if they choose to make changes.

“Just afraid that giving in now just validates the fact that everything we want we will give in, which is not the tone I want to set for the future.”

“Chinese weddings are never for the couple, but for the parents.”​

In the comments section, many Singaporean Redditors advised the bride to stick to her original plan for a small wedding and not to give in to the groom’s parents’ demands.

One Redditor said, “Typical Asian wedding problem. Never take your Asian parents at their word….Remember, Chinese weddings are never for the couple, but for the parents. If upsizing is not ideal or worth sacrificing for, I will suggest you just proceed with your existing plans and just ignore the parents’ feelings, take the gamble that this will eventually improve.”

Another Redditor echoed this sentiment, saying, “Do your own “close wedding” as planned. It’s your day and how you want your marriage to be. There’s probably something special in the both of you to want it this way and that’s the thing that connects you two. So don’t throw that away.”

A third Redditor commented, “Don’t give in. If you don’t set your boundaries at the start it’s going to be a never-ending power struggle.”

A few also suggested that, as a compromise, the bride and her partner could host a casual sit-down dinner at a Chinese restaurant where the groom’s parents and other relatives can gather and celebrate for their upcoming wedding.

This way, they could ease any hard feelings and avoid starting their marriage on a sour note. Although it would require spending more money than initially planned, the idea is that addressing this issue could be worth it to prevent any resentment from the in-laws, which could impact their relationship for years to come.

Featured image: Depositphotos

Gotta read between the lines lah.

The groom's parents wanted to invite their relatives but dun want to pay for the extra tables. When relatives come, they will pass their angbaos to the groom's parents. Then the parents will just take the angbao money. Whether or not they will give the angbao money to the newly weds, its a question mark liao.

So, to the newly weds, this is a 赔本 生意。

 

[drkcynic]

its his parents causing the fuss lol

Right or wrong, the groom cannot handle his parents.

And they are not even married yet.

So he is useless and the would be bride should think twice.

If the bride thinks this is the end of it then she and the groom are made for each other.

 

[crazythen]

In future this kind of damaged relationship with parents very hard to reverse one. Why they didn't consult their parents prior to booking?

This. It will never be the same…again

 

[mgx-alander]

another misalignment problem

the parents will hate the dotter in law for lifu if they dun give them what they want sibey miserable and kena say by relative

 

[dambio]

During cny d relatives know he's married n they dunno.

Gossip will start for his parents. Older gen face beri impt.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

haha

a lot of people still let parents decide their lives after they have a career and is the breadwinner

when your parents are the ones taking money from u, make sure u enforce discipline on them and let them know your status as breadwinner.
they wanna give u problem, cut their allowance and see whether they learn their lesson
if they don't take money from u, but still want u to obey them like dog, reply them with simple 4 words "show me the money"

 

[sacrificium]

SINGAPORE: A soon-to-be bride recently shared on social media that she is having a hard time proceeding with the wedding plans because the groom’s parents are throwing a huge fit over the guest list.

In a post on r/askSingapore, she shared that she and her partner opted for a small, intimate wedding, inviting only their closest friends and immediate family who have been supportive of their relationship. They’ve already booked a beautiful venue for 20 guests and finalized their guest list.

However, the groom’s parents are now causing a major uproar. “He informed his parents and now they’re throwing big tantrums saying that they aren’t going to come anymore because we are “secretly” getting married because all his relatives won’t know, and we are rude for not giving them tables to pick their own guests,” she wrote.

“Big big problem because we have already added the dad as the solemnisation witness (he wanted to be added), any chance of changing it now? and is it better to suck up and spend another 20k to upscale or is it feasible to say just don’t come.”

Her partner has also tried talking to his parents about this issue, but to no avail. “His parents will just storm off and refuse to talk to him when he brings up any little thing that doesn’t suit what they want,” she noted.

Adding to their stress, the groom’s parents have not offered any financial assistance for the extra tables, meaning the couple would be responsible for the entire additional cost if they choose to make changes.

“Just afraid that giving in now just validates the fact that everything we want we will give in, which is not the tone I want to set for the future.”

“Chinese weddings are never for the couple, but for the parents.”​

In the comments section, many Singaporean Redditors advised the bride to stick to her original plan for a small wedding and not to give in to the groom’s parents’ demands.

One Redditor said, “Typical Asian wedding problem. Never take your Asian parents at their word….Remember, Chinese weddings are never for the couple, but for the parents. If upsizing is not ideal or worth sacrificing for, I will suggest you just proceed with your existing plans and just ignore the parents’ feelings, take the gamble that this will eventually improve.”

Another Redditor echoed this sentiment, saying, “Do your own “close wedding” as planned. It’s your day and how you want your marriage to be. There’s probably something special in the both of you to want it this way and that’s the thing that connects you two. So don’t throw that away.”

A third Redditor commented, “Don’t give in. If you don’t set your boundaries at the start it’s going to be a never-ending power struggle.”

A few also suggested that, as a compromise, the bride and her partner could host a casual sit-down dinner at a Chinese restaurant where the groom’s parents and other relatives can gather and celebrate for their upcoming wedding.

This way, they could ease any hard feelings and avoid starting their marriage on a sour note. Although it would require spending more money than initially planned, the idea is that addressing this issue could be worth it to prevent any resentment from the in-laws, which could impact their relationship for years to come.

Featured image: Depositphotos

Just leave the groom’s parents out, why should the couple be held hostage. Can always announce the marriage during CNY.

 

[sacrificium]

Gotta read between the lines lah.

The groom's parents wanted to invite their relatives but dun want to pay for the extra tables. When relatives come, they will pass their angbaos to the groom's parents. Then the parents will just take the angbao money. Whether or not they will give the angbao money to the newly weds, its a question mark liao.

So, to the newly weds, this is a 赔本 生意。

This is true, I have seen many of such cases. Parents may be trying to monetarise their kids’ wedding.

 

[parchiao]

Come to EDMW, open account, ask for advice, we will give.

Reddit is for losers who need to be woke, politically correct, cannot curse and swear, oh wait.

 

[fre3dom85]

All the best…

 

[zoossh]

Useless groom. It's just the beginning.

I hope the groom dun sabo the wife by telling the parents

Spoiler: Yes…

it is her idea.

 

[Dracky]

It's a good idea to fight with the in-laws before getting married. You will benefit from knowing who wins and can decide if you should proceed with the marriage.

 

[skylink67]

No car, no house, no 500k bride price, 200k wedding at 5 star hotel dare to marry?

丢脸丢到家了!!!!

 

[doratch]

another misalignment problem

the parents will hate the dotter in law for lifu if they dun give them what they want sibey miserable and kena say by relative

Already too late liao lah.

Even if the newly weds abide by the groom's parents wishes, his parents will still think badly of their daughter-in-law.

 

[fortunecat]

Gotta read between the lines lah.

The groom's parents wanted to invite their relatives but dun want to pay for the extra tables. When relatives come, they will pass their angbaos to the groom's parents. Then the parents will just take the angbao money. Whether or not they will give the angbao money to the newly weds, its a question mark liao.

So, to the newly weds, this is a 赔本 生意。

Nowadays ang baos all give at the counter, where got give parents one

 

[doratch]

Nowadays ang baos all give at the counter, where got give parents one

Got.

I seen lotsa cases like that.

When my mum went to attend weddings, she also passed the angbao money to the parents of the newly weds and not at the counter. A lot of older gen are lidat deh.
Usually, frens of the newly weds will put their angbaos at the counter.