Legally severing ties with parents

dahnie

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Hi all, I am unsure where to post this, however as the title says, I am curious if there is a way to 'disown' your parents. Before you judge, maybe a backstory for you-

My mom is a control freak, somewhat depressive and caused me to drop out of university (because she refused to guarantee my loan and told all my relatives to not help me because she is in debt and paying off my loans - this is false as I am bearing the fees myself). She controls who I friend/date, does checks on my friends and looks down on people. As such me and my sister are quite antisocial.

My dad is a backstabber and money grubber, who will gossip and curse others. He tells every friend, neighbor and relative that he was victimized within the family and that I am just a slut. In front of others, he acts like the perfect dad and boasts of how smart his kids are but they are so unfilial to him. Many times he will twist words and even curse my grandparents and said he wished for them to die and give him their money.

At times my parents will work together to make sure I do not move forward. I am from JC, but it has been 3 years since I dropped out of school. I was accepted to a good course in poly before which I was interested in but my mom hid the letter and said the postman did not deliver it. they worked together to ensure that I do not get loans or help for university. Currently, because of the drop out, I am still in debt.

Once I had a strong depressive episode which led them to force hospitalize me, however they prevented me from talking about the physical/mental abuse at home and instead blamed it on my ex-boyfriend. My dad used to hit my mom, and he hits me too. I have retaliated before and now he likes to verbally insult me, calling me bitch and slut when he sees me. He told people that he is scared of me and afraid that I will kill him. Mom sides with him, because my dad wanted the house and half of her assets if she were to divorce him. When she wanted to leave him, he threatened to suicide, opened the window and when we just looked on, he started throwing and smashing things on the ground.

I would like to leave home, but my mom is the type who would hire a PI to track me down. I am worried for my university (I am planning to study part time next year). Is there any way I can cut off all ties so that they can't find me or obstruct me in any way? Please help, much appreciated.
 

Crexzz

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Sorry that you're in such plight that's
Beyond your control.

Perhaps you can consider overseas education, look out for scholarship/grants you're eligible for.

Whilst studying there, you can consider your options to settling down there after you've completed your studies
 

deodorant

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Since you're already 18 you can just leave home and strike out on your own. Your parents can track you down but they can't actually do anything to you. If push comes to shove go to the police & report them for harassment, then get a family lawyer to advise you on getting restraining order against them.
 

jajablingz

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Dahnie, I signed up to hwz just to reply you. I am shocked but jot entirely surprised to hear of your plight. It’s insane and you are right in wanting to get out.

How r u now please let us/me know... I really wish to help.

QUOTE=dahnie;121869616]Hi all, I am unsure where to post this, however as the title says, I am curious if there is a way to 'disown' your parents. Before you judge, maybe a backstory for you-

My mom is a control freak, somewhat depressive and caused me to drop out of university (because she refused to guarantee my loan and told all my relatives to not help me because she is in debt and paying off my loans - this is false as I am bearing the fees myself). She controls who I friend/date, does checks on my friends and looks down on people. As such me and my sister are quite antisocial.

My dad is a backstabber and money grubber, who will gossip and curse others. He tells every friend, neighbor and relative that he was victimized within the family and that I am just a slut. In front of others, he acts like the perfect dad and boasts of how smart his kids are but they are so unfilial to him. Many times he will twist words and even curse my grandparents and said he wished for them to die and give him their money.

At times my parents will work together to make sure I do not move forward. I am from JC, but it has been 3 years since I dropped out of school. I was accepted to a good course in poly before which I was interested in but my mom hid the letter and said the postman did not deliver it. they worked together to ensure that I do not get loans or help for university. Currently, because of the drop out, I am still in debt.

Once I had a strong depressive episode which led them to force hospitalize me, however they prevented me from talking about the physical/mental abuse at home and instead blamed it on my ex-boyfriend. My dad used to hit my mom, and he hits me too. I have retaliated before and now he likes to verbally insult me, calling me bitch and slut when he sees me. He told people that he is scared of me and afraid that I will kill him. Mom sides with him, because my dad wanted the house and half of her assets if she were to divorce him. When she wanted to leave him, he threatened to suicide, opened the window and when we just looked on, he started throwing and smashing things on the ground.

I would like to leave home, but my mom is the type who would hire a PI to track me down. I am worried for my university (I am planning to study part time next year). Is there any way I can cut off all ties so that they can't find me or obstruct me in any way? Please help, much appreciated.[/QUOTE]
 

keenklee

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Hi all, I am unsure where to post this, however as the title says, I am curious if there is a way to 'disown' your parents. Before you judge, maybe a backstory for you-

My mom is a control freak, somewhat depressive and caused me to drop out of university (because she refused to guarantee my loan and told all my relatives to not help me because she is in debt and paying off my loans - this is false as I am bearing the fees myself). She controls who I friend/date, does checks on my friends and looks down on people. As such me and my sister are quite antisocial.

My dad is a backstabber and money grubber, who will gossip and curse others. He tells every friend, neighbor and relative that he was victimized within the family and that I am just a slut. In front of others, he acts like the perfect dad and boasts of how smart his kids are but they are so unfilial to him. Many times he will twist words and even curse my grandparents and said he wished for them to die and give him their money.

At times my parents will work together to make sure I do not move forward. I am from JC, but it has been 3 years since I dropped out of school. I was accepted to a good course in poly before which I was interested in but my mom hid the letter and said the postman did not deliver it. they worked together to ensure that I do not get loans or help for university. Currently, because of the drop out, I am still in debt.

Once I had a strong depressive episode which led them to force hospitalize me, however they prevented me from talking about the physical/mental abuse at home and instead blamed it on my ex-boyfriend. My dad used to hit my mom, and he hits me too. I have retaliated before and now he likes to verbally insult me, calling me bitch and slut when he sees me. He told people that he is scared of me and afraid that I will kill him. Mom sides with him, because my dad wanted the house and half of her assets if she were to divorce him. When she wanted to leave him, he threatened to suicide, opened the window and when we just looked on, he started throwing and smashing things on the ground.

I would like to leave home, but my mom is the type who would hire a PI to track me down. I am worried for my university (I am planning to study part time next year). Is there any way I can cut off all ties so that they can't find me or obstruct me in any way? Please help, much appreciated.

IMHO.
It is my hope and believe that some legal system should be in place to protect you.

For a start, go to https://www.childrensociety.org.sg/
Look under "Our Services"

Please do not be mislead by the children as in their "Our Services", the mentioned Youth as well. Their Patron-In-Chief is President Halimah Yacob

Also.
https://www.childrensociety.org.sg/resources/ck/files/child_protection.pdf

I was reading that if you are below 21, your parents need to support you. I think it should be regardless of whether you are on your own, in a home or with a guardian.

Glad you pick HWZ to seek information. I hope someone picks this up and help you.

Nevertheless, if all else fail, approach your MP.
 

keenklee

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Dahnie, I signed up to hwz just to reply you. I am shocked but jot entirely surprised to hear of your plight. It’s insane and you are right in wanting to get out.

How r u now please let us/me know... I really wish to help.

IMHO.
If you really want to help, you may want to point her to the right organization. If could be the organization that you work for as well.
 

Jon1994

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Hi i agree with the poster. It sounds like your parents might be dealing with some severe issues and you definitely don't deserve to be treated in this manner.

i would suggest you protect yourself by seeing help from the various organizations, and later, try to get help for your parents. You will soon be able to find your own home also, but don't rush just for this.

Take care!
 

curiosity_20

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I'm also dealing with the same kind of dysfunctional shitty parents who want nothing more than attention and money. It's really weird why some people grow up to become shitheads instead of growing wiser with age. Parents like that create a lot of drama and really make life tough. Such narcissistic parents really do not deserve a child like yourself. Stand strong, keep the faith and don't let your heart become hardened!
 

Jus.levf

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I guess some of us do not grow up in a happy family.

Personally, my parents aren't educated. So I have huge struggling when I was in my primary School and secondary. Landed in to Normal Technical stream. My parents always compare me with their friends children who are much better in studies, which makes me feel even more demoralizing.

Since Sec school, I go out and work in fast food restaurant in the evening after school, causing me to be tired in the day can't concentrate in school. But to lighten my family expenses. One fine day, I was having high fever, gotten a mc and that evening staying home to rest. My mother saw me not going to work was damn angry at me, even when I say I got mc, company got sick leave. I don't go to work, I still get paid. Bear in mind a 4 hrs shift, I earn on lunch $12.

There was once, when I was chatting with classmates on phone, my mum get to know was so angry and our argument with her bring out a knief from kitchen wanted to chop me. Is my dad holding her on.

I still go to work in the end, and my manager ask me why are you here. Aren't you supposed to rest at home? Till today the mc is still with me for 15years not able to submit.

Finally graduated from Sec school moving in to ITE NITEC. Got into a course I like and I did well and finally I hope I bring glory to my parents. Being top 10% only able to get into Poly those days, I finally got a placement at one of the polytechnic in Singapore. However my mum told my dad refuse to allow me to loan the tuition fees from CPF. Saying future when my younger brother grow up, he will also not study poly and uni.. just a higher NITEC will do.

So I continue my studies in higher NITEC and gave up poly.. and enlisted for national Service after higher NITEC.

But my brother get to study into Poly and even Uni.

So now I ORD, found a job, and I'm grateful that my employer send me for a diploma course and I graduated as a valedictorian.
This proud moment i have no one to share, I can't bring it up to my parents as my heart is dead.

Now married and shifted out of the house, stay on my own with seldom get in touch. However at times I do think should I proceed with the legal advice to sever ties with them.

My in law let me feel what is a family which I never experience it before. I'm grateful for what I have, however my past cant change how I feel towards my parents.
 

zheng

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Hi all, I am unsure where to post this, however as the title says, I am curious if there is a way to 'disown' your parents. Before you judge, maybe a backstory for you-

My mom is a control freak, somewhat depressive and caused me to drop out of university (because she refused to guarantee my loan and told all my relatives to not help me because she is in debt and paying off my loans - this is false as I am bearing the fees myself). She controls who I friend/date, does checks on my friends and looks down on people. As such me and my sister are quite antisocial.

My dad is a backstabber and money grubber, who will gossip and curse others. He tells every friend, neighbor and relative that he was victimized within the family and that I am just a slut. In front of others, he acts like the perfect dad and boasts of how smart his kids are but they are so unfilial to him. Many times he will twist words and even curse my grandparents and said he wished for them to die and give him their money.

At times my parents will work together to make sure I do not move forward. I am from JC, but it has been 3 years since I dropped out of school. I was accepted to a good course in poly before which I was interested in but my mom hid the letter and said the postman did not deliver it. they worked together to ensure that I do not get loans or help for university. Currently, because of the drop out, I am still in debt.

Once I had a strong depressive episode which led them to force hospitalize me, however they prevented me from talking about the physical/mental abuse at home and instead blamed it on my ex-boyfriend. My dad used to hit my mom, and he hits me too. I have retaliated before and now he likes to verbally insult me, calling me bitch and slut when he sees me. He told people that he is scared of me and afraid that I will kill him. Mom sides with him, because my dad wanted the house and half of her assets if she were to divorce him. When she wanted to leave him, he threatened to suicide, opened the window and when we just looked on, he started throwing and smashing things on the ground.

I would like to leave home, but my mom is the type who would hire a PI to track me down. I am worried for my university (I am planning to study part time next year). Is there any way I can cut off all ties so that they can't find me or obstruct me in any way? Please help, much appreciated.
report to police. apply for protection? how old are you? can u affort rental room?
 
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