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How long does it take to get used to life as a politician’s spouse?
Two years, said the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew, responding to the spouse of a young colleague at a dinner years ago.
But he was quick to add: “My answer will still be the same if you ask me two years later. The truth is, life is a continuous process of adjusting and adapting.”
This incident is documented in Ms Lim Hai Yen’s upcoming Chinese-language book, For Better, For Worse, which will be launched on May 27.
Ms Lim has been married for 26 years to Tampines GRC MP Baey Yam Keng. They have a son, aged 19, and two daughters, aged 23 and 18.
The 52-year-old playwright, artistic director of theatre company The ETCeteras and homemaker said she is still getting used to sharing her husband with the public since he entered politics in 2006.
The 268-page book is a collection of 51 essays she had written for local Chinese media and some Facebook posts, spanning 16 years from 2006 to 2022.
It chronicles her married life with Mr Baey, 52, who is also Senior Parliamentary Secretary for Transport as well as Sustainability and the Environment.
“I learnt how to wait,” she wrote. “Waiting for him to come home, waiting for him to be free, waiting for him to give me some time, waiting for him to look at me.”
He is hardly at home, and there were times when the children would see him only on television news for that day, she added.
To compensate for his absence, Mr Baey would be the one to take his children to school. He would also try to be home for dinner two or three days a week, sometimes only to rush off elsewhere after dinner.
His record was seven events he had to attend in a week, Ms Lim recalled.
She accompanies him on some official functions, and has witnessed how he would sometimes be too busy to enjoy the dinner that was provided.
He might have to be up on stage to deliver a speech, give out certificates or conduct a lucky draw before he had time to eat. Or he might be taken around the tables to mingle with the guests. Once, he was so famished after an event that he cooked instant noodles for himself when he got home.
Ms Lim noticed he was not the only politician pressed for time. She wrote about how one of his fellow parliamentarians would quickly eat some biscuits in his car, and brush the crumbs off his jacket before stepping out in style to grace an event.
Another recalled how he was invited to a food festival, only to have his pictures taken with the stallholders and their sumptuous food before leaving the event on an empty stomach.
Mr Baey told The Straits Times: “I hope readers will find it interesting to learn a side of me which may not be so public. It’s not just about me, but all public figures – ultimately we are all normal human beings who face pressures and difficulties in life too.”
He added: “I hope the book will also give a glimpse into the challenges that their spouses face. They don’t have it easy.”
The couple try to steal pockets of time together whenever they can. They also value their twice yearly family vacations overseas, and try to go on staycations if time permits.
“We have a habit of chit-chatting for about 10 to 15 minutes before bedtime,” Ms Lim said. “When there is no response from him, I know that he has dozed off.”
It helps that Ms Lim was a journalist with Shin Min Daily News for eight years, and is able to summarise the day’s events into succinct headlines for her husband when he gets home. Before she left Shin Min in 2000 to be a full-time mum, she had interviewed some political figures and now still maintains an interest in political affairs.
While she admits she will never fully comprehend his work, she tries to give him a peaceful and loving home so that he can focus on his duties without worrying about the family.
Being a playwright and director, she was used to public attention, long before her husband’s political career took flight. Now, he is the one in the limelight.
“When we are out, some people will request to take photos with him, and I will just step aside and wait,” she said.
https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/mrs-baey-yam-keng-on-being-an-mp-s-wife-it-s-a-waiting-game
Two years, said the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew, responding to the spouse of a young colleague at a dinner years ago.
But he was quick to add: “My answer will still be the same if you ask me two years later. The truth is, life is a continuous process of adjusting and adapting.”
This incident is documented in Ms Lim Hai Yen’s upcoming Chinese-language book, For Better, For Worse, which will be launched on May 27.
Ms Lim has been married for 26 years to Tampines GRC MP Baey Yam Keng. They have a son, aged 19, and two daughters, aged 23 and 18.
The 52-year-old playwright, artistic director of theatre company The ETCeteras and homemaker said she is still getting used to sharing her husband with the public since he entered politics in 2006.
The 268-page book is a collection of 51 essays she had written for local Chinese media and some Facebook posts, spanning 16 years from 2006 to 2022.
It chronicles her married life with Mr Baey, 52, who is also Senior Parliamentary Secretary for Transport as well as Sustainability and the Environment.
“I learnt how to wait,” she wrote. “Waiting for him to come home, waiting for him to be free, waiting for him to give me some time, waiting for him to look at me.”
He is hardly at home, and there were times when the children would see him only on television news for that day, she added.
To compensate for his absence, Mr Baey would be the one to take his children to school. He would also try to be home for dinner two or three days a week, sometimes only to rush off elsewhere after dinner.
His record was seven events he had to attend in a week, Ms Lim recalled.
She accompanies him on some official functions, and has witnessed how he would sometimes be too busy to enjoy the dinner that was provided.
He might have to be up on stage to deliver a speech, give out certificates or conduct a lucky draw before he had time to eat. Or he might be taken around the tables to mingle with the guests. Once, he was so famished after an event that he cooked instant noodles for himself when he got home.
Ms Lim noticed he was not the only politician pressed for time. She wrote about how one of his fellow parliamentarians would quickly eat some biscuits in his car, and brush the crumbs off his jacket before stepping out in style to grace an event.
Another recalled how he was invited to a food festival, only to have his pictures taken with the stallholders and their sumptuous food before leaving the event on an empty stomach.
Mr Baey told The Straits Times: “I hope readers will find it interesting to learn a side of me which may not be so public. It’s not just about me, but all public figures – ultimately we are all normal human beings who face pressures and difficulties in life too.”
He added: “I hope the book will also give a glimpse into the challenges that their spouses face. They don’t have it easy.”
The couple try to steal pockets of time together whenever they can. They also value their twice yearly family vacations overseas, and try to go on staycations if time permits.
“We have a habit of chit-chatting for about 10 to 15 minutes before bedtime,” Ms Lim said. “When there is no response from him, I know that he has dozed off.”
It helps that Ms Lim was a journalist with Shin Min Daily News for eight years, and is able to summarise the day’s events into succinct headlines for her husband when he gets home. Before she left Shin Min in 2000 to be a full-time mum, she had interviewed some political figures and now still maintains an interest in political affairs.
While she admits she will never fully comprehend his work, she tries to give him a peaceful and loving home so that he can focus on his duties without worrying about the family.
Being a playwright and director, she was used to public attention, long before her husband’s political career took flight. Now, he is the one in the limelight.
“When we are out, some people will request to take photos with him, and I will just step aside and wait,” she said.
https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/mrs-baey-yam-keng-on-being-an-mp-s-wife-it-s-a-waiting-game
