Hi. I'm diagnosed with depression and anxiety problems, hence temporary down pes to C2L9 for 6 months. I have been transfered to another unit as a clerk
However, ever since i've come to this new place, i feel that my fear and anxiety has increased tremendously, even worse
than how i felt in my previous infantry unit. I asked myself "why am i so afraid of such a good place? I'm just a clerk, 8-5 job, the disclipine standard here is nowhere as bad as the previous place, but why do i still have this fear?"
I'm so scared of the place to the point that i tend to hide myself in the nearby toilet cubicle for more than half of the day. Crying, Vomitting, Trembling and the urge to end this painful life on mine has been on my mind for the past few days, as i have to return to work 7 days from now.
In the office, even when i'm not doing anything, just staying in the office itself gives me the utmost fear and i kept trembling and shaking very badly.I skipped all my lunch meals in camp. Partly because i have no appetite, and also the thought of simply walking to the cookhouse, where it will
be filled with army personels gives me such a horrific feeling, so i hide inside the toilet cubicle during the whole 1 hour lunch time. The 4 walls of the cubicle makes me feel safe from all the scary things outside.The feeling is so horrible that there has been many times ive thought of ending my life, but i don't have the guts to as i thought about my family.
Even now at home, just the thought of returning to that place is makes me cry.I don't dare to talk to my parents about it, as they seem to be extremely stressed about my situation already. I promised them that with the help of my doctor, i will try to recover. But asking myself honestly, with
the current condition, i have absolutely no confidence at all that i will recover within a short time.
I cant sleep at night for the past few days, relying on my sleeping pills to get the little bit of rest i can get. And even now, i don't have the feeling to do anything. I just sit in a corner in my room, shiving and fearing the thought of going back. It's like a countdown to my death sentence.
I know some of you might be thinking "why is this guy complaining of such a relaxing job. Other ppl chiong sua until wan die alr." But i really am suffering inside, to the point that i'm actually crying while typing this out.
Can someone advise me on what to do? I don't want to make my parents worry anymore. And i don't dare to talk to the psychiatrist that SAF has appointed for me. He seems to think that my case isnt thatserious, even after telling him all my problems.
I would extremely appreciate it if someone can advice me or help me on this. This really isn't keng one. I can swear. Really need some advice.
However, ever since i've come to this new place, i feel that my fear and anxiety has increased tremendously, even worse
than how i felt in my previous infantry unit. I asked myself "why am i so afraid of such a good place? I'm just a clerk, 8-5 job, the disclipine standard here is nowhere as bad as the previous place, but why do i still have this fear?"
I'm so scared of the place to the point that i tend to hide myself in the nearby toilet cubicle for more than half of the day. Crying, Vomitting, Trembling and the urge to end this painful life on mine has been on my mind for the past few days, as i have to return to work 7 days from now.
In the office, even when i'm not doing anything, just staying in the office itself gives me the utmost fear and i kept trembling and shaking very badly.I skipped all my lunch meals in camp. Partly because i have no appetite, and also the thought of simply walking to the cookhouse, where it will
be filled with army personels gives me such a horrific feeling, so i hide inside the toilet cubicle during the whole 1 hour lunch time. The 4 walls of the cubicle makes me feel safe from all the scary things outside.The feeling is so horrible that there has been many times ive thought of ending my life, but i don't have the guts to as i thought about my family.
Even now at home, just the thought of returning to that place is makes me cry.I don't dare to talk to my parents about it, as they seem to be extremely stressed about my situation already. I promised them that with the help of my doctor, i will try to recover. But asking myself honestly, with
the current condition, i have absolutely no confidence at all that i will recover within a short time.
I cant sleep at night for the past few days, relying on my sleeping pills to get the little bit of rest i can get. And even now, i don't have the feeling to do anything. I just sit in a corner in my room, shiving and fearing the thought of going back. It's like a countdown to my death sentence.
I know some of you might be thinking "why is this guy complaining of such a relaxing job. Other ppl chiong sua until wan die alr." But i really am suffering inside, to the point that i'm actually crying while typing this out.
Can someone advise me on what to do? I don't want to make my parents worry anymore. And i don't dare to talk to the psychiatrist that SAF has appointed for me. He seems to think that my case isnt thatserious, even after telling him all my problems.
I would extremely appreciate it if someone can advice me or help me on this. This really isn't keng one. I can swear. Really need some advice.
