My rm experiences are for private banks. The rms for treasures, privilege levels don't really interact with me much beyond occasional emails.
Quality of rms from local banks cannot compare with foreign banks (American and Swiss) in terms of knowledge and demeanor. I get better and fast advice and action from the foreign bank rms so much so that I have stopped banking with local banks.
I think what makes a good rm is when they understand that when you gain, they gain. If I feel that they are not keen to protect me or help me, and is only keen on churning volumes, I will drop them. My best rms will fight to get me the best rates, take time to research for my portfolio, make sure I understand what I am buying and be available for consultations.
But I think it's equally important that the relationship is a 2 way street. People are naturally more helpful and nicer to people who treat them with respect. I do not order my rms around, nor do I expect them to treat me like some entitled brat. I always ask if a meal is paid for by the bank, if not, I will pay my share. They do appreciate that and many times, they will drop their PC-ness and tell me in plain language what they really think, even if it's not house view.