so many happy married couples on reddit after reading a few comments i feel sad for myself

[XiaoChilli]

How old and what education level? Still got this kind of submissive sinkie bu? That's edmwers dream woman

Usually submissive sinkie bu dont like stingy and selfish men leh... lol. This example is unlucky wife.

 

[fortunecat]

Usually submissive sinkie bu dont like stingy and selfish men leh... lol. This example is unlucky wife.

That's why curious to know the woman's background. Now where got sinkie bu will take this kind of bs

 

[KPO_SAHM]

How old and what education level? Still got this kind of submissive sinkie bu? That's edmwers dream woman

Ya....she deserves someone better. I have a few friends who r very easily contented , thrifty n no tempered. Locally breed sinkies with NuS degree in social science

 

[coyote]

Kid waking up late isnt a planned event
Theres no need to be too fixated over last min changes

Just wake up, chop chop and go lah.

 

[ahnyaahnya]

Met a mother of 1 (working part time as kitchen helper, 4 hrs & 4 weekdays, earning about $300 ) at playground. Sharing with U about her marriage :
1) hubby doesn allow her to use CDC vochours cause spouse said government gave her cash
2) have to prepare meals for whole family using her own money
3) she has to pay for child daily school pocket allowances
4) hubby is not supporting her a single cent . She has to pay her own insurance + medical + own consumables items like sanitary pads, shampoo and etc
5) NEVER allowED her to take his car cause hubby said car would consume more petrol. Imagine spouse drives kid. If REALLY HEAVY POUR , she would beg her spouse to fetch her son and she has to take public transport home
6) hubby sleeps in study room cause he proclaims that he is light sleeper. But he always locks his room. Watching drama and turns on aircon till next morning
NEVER ALLOWED KID N HER TO TURN LN AIRCON. Proclaiming that it would consume more energy.
7) super self-centred hubby & micromanaging my friend cause he never allowed her to go out with any friends. Even bringing her son along also NO. However he is able to go out to meet friends anytime. There was since she went out for a few hrs , he texted him nasty texts.
8) hubby wanted to have kid cause house was quiet. But when kid was born , spouse complains kid is noisy and never wanted to eat with family at the same table. Cannot stand son to be alone with him at home .
9) she doesn know her hubby salary. Best part is hubby could access her singpass and see how much she is earning .
10 ) hubby is not treating her well. And giving her not just mental but also financial stress.
11) hubby never did housechores. After eating n drinking would leave drinking cups n plates ... utensils unwashed.
12) never fold blanket everything in a messy and waiting for my friend to do
13) hubby always reaches home early but never bother just to cook rice and waiting for my friend to reach home after fetching son from student care.
14) never brought son to anywhere . Cause he said waste money . Very stingy n lazy man.
15) seldom speaks to hubby at home unless talk about things like "what's for dinner, what time she is cooking for meals and so on.."


She could not work full time cause all her work required her to bring work home. She couldn handle the work at home cause hubby refuses to take care of son .

I shared the above with my mil cause my late fil was also a self-centred person. MIL said friend doesn work that is why hubby shows no respect to her. Moreover her parents all passed away. He knew she has no money n no place to go therefore hubby always欺负她。hubby has no affair....She is holding on to the marriage cause she wants to give son a proper home. She said once kid is an adult she would divorce her hubby. She knows hubby only wants her to take care of him when he is unwell , old n sick. I told her...end of the day son would be closed to her instead of her hubby. She invests her time n love for her son , son would know n feel it. Eventually, son would only care n love her when she is old

* Friend's hubby has a degree and works in a MOE school in IT dep for at least 15 years

Divorce and get maintenance

 

[KPO_SAHM]

Divorce and get maintenance

She doesn have money to hire lawyer and she worries she has no home after divorce. Son custody may fall under hubby as she doesn have any earning power.


Son is 7 years old. Son knew his dad's patterns and very closed to her. Anyway she will divorce when her son starts to work. No maintenance also can as son is very sensible n filial to her

 

[Pandal]

That's the problem with many people nowadays. They are afraid of loneliness, so they would rather marry a poor choice than remain single. I imagine her life would be much better if she hadn't gotten married because her income would be just for herself.

Before getting married or having kids, you need to build up your own life and person with your own interests first. Depending on other people for your happiness is a sure-fire way to resentment when other people can't or won't be your source of happiness.

 

[gnoes85]

Ask any married couples especially those with kids. Most if not all will reply they would want to be single again, but don't regret their own choices

 

[s-ghost]

thanks TS for ruining my day

 

[couch.potato]

Have a lot outside look good only
family then will see the true face
Even in front of family want to fake, after 10 years got 破绽 one…

stingy, don’t love wife type many… but wife don’t dare to leave (even tho 30+) because got kid and want face… but is ownself choose one lah, before marriage already like that.

 

[Jude Raphael]

I knew her for 10 + years. When her kid was about 2 years old, he played with my son and shared with my son what happened at home. Kid at such age would not lie n didn know what was a lie.

Friend always shares with us. We never commented anything just be her listening ears. There was once she looked down and suddenly hugged me and cried non stop.

I feel that it was a good idea that her son knew to express himself at such a young age and related what happened at home to someone else. Hopefully, he has learnt that such a behaviour has caused his mum hurt. Like you said, he probably related the whole story as it was and how he saw it. I thought that modern men would probably be more sensible and enlightened to understand the kind discrimination that women from the earlier generation had to endure. I feel that the only way to stop this discriminatory behaviour, is for PARENTS to educate the boys and girls that such behaviour is unacceptable in today's context. The bucks stops with the parents to teach. Period.
Treating and respecting someone as an equal does not equate to ceding authority and a sign of "weakness".

As for your friend, I guess there is nothing much that you can do for her except to listen and to watch out for her. She probably feels that she has no other option due to her dependence on her hubby.

 

[AlmightyOnes]

thanks TS for ruining my day

 

[XiaoChilli]

So cute

 

[XiaoChilli]

Ya....she deserves someone better. I have a few friends who r very easily contented , thrifty n no tempered. Locally breed sinkies with NuS degree in social science

Is the woman with the lousy husband also NUS degree? She quit her well paying job to work part time as kitchen helper only $300 so she can support her kid expenses?

 

[KPO_SAHM]

Is the woman with the lousy husband also NUS degree? She quit her well paying job to work part time as kitchen helper only $300 so she can support her kid expenses?

she didn got a high paid job. Just a customer service staff during that time.

Currently she is earning for herself + Pocket money ($1 a day) for her kid (child bring bread to school everyday) + prepare a simiple meal for family everyday using her money.

$300+ per month after netting off CPF. No hubby is a private degree in IT + local poly cert .

 

[AUTUMN&WINTER]

every month you always have a self pitty post about how you are single.

even 50 year old chinese uncle can get a 30 year old myanmar bride. whats stopping you from getting foreign wife

Heard many horror stories about foreign wives. Local ones are still better.

 

[Sumimasen]

Such a useless man!! In B4 no use women charter or wat charter? Hubby no support/maintenance act etc

Met a mother of 1 (working part time as kitchen helper, 4 hrs & 4 weekdays, earning about $300 ) at playground. Sharing with U about her marriage :
1) hubby doesn allow her to use CDC vochours cause spouse said government gave her cash
2) have to prepare meals for whole family using her own money
3) she has to pay for child daily school pocket allowances
4) hubby is not supporting her a single cent . She has to pay her own insurance + medical + own consumables items like sanitary pads, shampoo and etc
5) NEVER allowED her to take his car cause hubby said car would consume more petrol. Imagine spouse drives kid. If REALLY HEAVY POUR , she would beg her spouse to fetch her son and she has to take public transport home
6) hubby sleeps in study room cause he proclaims that he is light sleeper. But he always locks his room. Watching drama and turns on aircon till next morning
NEVER ALLOWED KID N HER TO TURN LN AIRCON. Proclaiming that it would consume more energy.
7) super self-centred hubby & micromanaging my friend cause he never allowed her to go out with any friends. Even bringing her son along also NO. However he is able to go out to meet friends anytime. There was since she went out for a few hrs , he texted him nasty texts.
8) hubby wanted to have kid cause house was quiet. But when kid was born , spouse complains kid is noisy and never wanted to eat with family at the same table. Cannot stand son to be alone with him at home .
9) she doesn know her hubby salary. Best part is hubby could access her singpass and see how much she is earning .
10 ) hubby is not treating her well. And giving her not just mental but also financial stress.
11) hubby never did housechores. After eating n drinking would leave drinking cups n plates ... utensils unwashed.
12) never fold blanket everything in a messy and waiting for my friend to do
13) hubby always reaches home early but never bother just to cook rice and waiting for my friend to reach home after fetching son from student care.
14) never brought son to anywhere . Cause he said waste money . Very stingy n lazy man.
15) seldom speaks to hubby at home unless talk about things like "what's for dinner, what time she is cooking for meals and so on.."


She could not work full time cause all her work required her to bring work home. She couldn handle the work at home cause hubby refuses to take care of son .

I shared the above with my mil cause my late fil was also a self-centred person. MIL said friend doesn work that is why hubby shows no respect to her. Moreover her parents all passed away. He knew she has no money n no place to go therefore hubby always欺负她。hubby has no affair....She is holding on to the marriage cause she wants to give son a proper home. She said once kid is an adult she would divorce her hubby. She knows hubby only wants her to take care of him when he is unwell , old n sick. I told her...end of the day son would be closed to her instead of her hubby. She invests her time n love for her son , son would know n feel it. Eventually, son would only care n love her when she is old

* Friend's hubby has a degree and works in a MOE school in IT dep for at least 15 years

 

[pokipoki08]

I dont care, I only want to tio 4D First prize.

money solve 99% problems, especially couple problems

basis & core of family unit is economics
whatever love happiness will slowly erode if above is not sustained
strive to AFFORD a family first, before starting one
dont count on anything
everyday will have surprises

 

[Spike]

basis & core of family unit is economics
whatever love happiness will slowly erode if above is not sustained
strive to AFFORD a family first, before starting one
dont count on anything
everyday will have surprises

Is about managing expectations.

For example, if you can only afford a holiday to Malaysia while your spouse expects you to pay for a Europe trip. Or if you can afford to send your child to MyFirstSkool while your spouse wants the child to attend a Maplebear.

The same applies to all other stuff. Sometimes, there will be disagreements but if there are significant differences, and both parties are unwilling to compromise, a breakup is inevitable.

 

[XiaoChilli]

she didn got a high paid job. Just a customer service staff during that time.

Currently she is earning for herself + Pocket money ($1 a day) for her kid (child bring bread to school everyday) + prepare a simiple meal for family everyday using her money.

$300+ per month after netting off CPF. No hubby is a private degree in IT + local poly cert .

$300 a month not enough for 2 person meal leh. Plus kids need more nutrition. Hope she can find a better paying job.
Her kid is still in primary school right? If so its gonna be a long way to go before the kid grow up and give her allowance and she can divorce.
Best to be financially stable instead of having to wait for the son, which is quite a long time. She has qualifications can look better part time job.