For me, the best is 4K60HDR on OLED panels.
I usually see a lot of debate about brightness, but it's more for times when headroom is required and doesn't mean that everything will playback at the highest value, if it does that, the display algorithm/config or HDR content is scuffed. I would say the minimum for a decent HDR experience you must have an OLED panel as a priority, and maybe less emphasis on brightness, I will explain why.
In the spots of a video that is supposed to light up due to HDR, that spot actually has some sort of an offset, but they are not fixed values, the amount of brightness increment for that spot depends on the content and your display limitation, a display with 1000 nits doesn't mean that all the lit up spots are going to display at that value.
Also, when combined with OLED, it makes the edges of the lit spot look much cleaner and more detailed due to OLED individual pixel lighting up. It honestly makes non-OLED + low-nits HDR panels look like they are just changing colors to mimic light and contrast. Even on a high-nits display that is not OLED, you don't get to see the crispness of the edges at those lit-up spots.
For example, if I capture a torchlight that is shining brightly in HDR, it will capture more of that information than compared to SDR. Obviously, this will be hurting the eyes when played back in a display that is capable of displaying the information that was captured, but device manufacturers will usually set a max offset so that the displays don't go +1000 nits on a lit spot. HDR was never meant to comfort the eyes, and it is not intended for a comfortable viewing experience, but this is the true reality of HDR.
For people that do not like what was mentioned, it's like wanting to use HDR, but don't like HDR for what it is. This brings us back to the basics on what the term Dynamic Range means, and what is High Dynamic Range (HDR)? In HDR, the range of colors and brightness levels of content captured and displayed are WAY wider* than in SDR.
The most accurate reflection for HDR experience is not on a conventional-sized monitor, the monitor market is quite neglected in that segment. So it might be best to not judge HDR based off those experiences. However, I think some of the larger-sized ones might be decent.
The thing is that TVs and even Smartphones like IP14PM, and S23 Ultra, are more capable of outputting HDR accurately, and at a completely different league, and when using HDR on these i think many will have a very different take on HDR.