Talk finance with your spouse

[zzzzzz87]

How do you all discuss or talk about finance with your spouse?

My spouse is not interested in talking about finance.

Hope to hear from you all how do you all handle it if you face similar issues or if you don’t face similar issues, how do you all sort things out?

Like one person handle or what?

Finance meaning savings, investments, retirement plans, kids education fees etc.

 

[limster]

How do you all discuss or talk about finance with your spouse?

My spouse is not interested in talking about finance.

Hope to hear from you all how do you all handle it if you face similar issues or if you don’t face similar issues, how do you all sort things out?

Like one person handle or what?

Finance meaning savings, investments, retirement plans, kids education fees etc.

if you are a new couple, you got effectively no money for savings/investment/retirement. biggest outlay will be housing and then children.

finance talk is basically talk about how to spend money frugally, and work hard to increase your salary.

 

[tiertime]

How do you all discuss or talk about finance with your spouse?

My spouse is not interested in talking about finance.

Hope to hear from you all how do you all handle it if you face similar issues or if you don’t face similar issues, how do you all sort things out?

Like one person handle or what?

Finance meaning savings, investments, retirement plans, kids education fees etc.

we hardly talk about it, the one who is better at finance manages everything, and the other just take allowance

my spouse is the kind that spend future money and landed in A LOT of debt... and luckily has also acknowldeged that ownself cannot manage well and caused a hugh MESS... so the decision was rather easy

what kind of character is your spouse? saves more than spend or spends more than save ?

 

[zzzzzz87]

if you are a new couple, you got effectively no money for savings/investment/retirement. biggest outlay will be housing and then children.

finance talk is basically talk about how to spend money frugally, and work hard to increase your salary.

Considered new I guess? Married 3 years. Second kid coming in June.

And yes, my spouse not even interested to increase salary like finding new job (even before covid-19)...

 

[zzzzzz87]

we hardly talk about it, the one who is better at finance manages everything, and the other just take allowance

my spouse is the kind that spend future money and landed in A LOT of debt... and luckily has also acknowldeged that ownself cannot manage well and caused a hugh MESS... so the decision was rather easy

what kind of character is your spouse? saves more than spend or spends more than save ?

So both salaries go into one bank account? Your spouse just take allowance from it? How many %? Does your spouse have fixed bills (parents allowance, insurance premiums, instalment plans, credit card bills etc) to pay?

You are helping to manage and clear the debt?

My spouse spends a lot on insurance premiums unfortunately... last time supported sister when she was doing this part time in Uni. -_- other than that, he’s a saver. But doesn’t invest, doesn’t credit salary to higher interest account (still using OCBC frank account)...

 

[newjungle]

Small decision, husband decides....Major decision, wife decides. That’s the golden rule....

 

[peppermint7]

Small decision, husband decides....Major decision, wife decides. That’s the golden rule....

Lol that's a good one

 

[peppermint7]

How do you all discuss or talk about finance with your spouse?

My spouse is not interested in talking about finance.

Hope to hear from you all how do you all handle it if you face similar issues or if you don’t face similar issues, how do you all sort things out?

Like one person handle or what?

Finance meaning savings, investments, retirement plans, kids education fees etc.

Seldom have both party financial prudent. If both also prudent they'll become a true blue Golden Couple. Usually is 1 party will do the homework and manage. If both also lazy. Gone case. Like a ship without direction

 

[Aaron_soh80]

Considered new I guess? Married 3 years. Second kid coming in June.

And yes, my spouse not even interested to increase salary like finding new job (even before covid-19)...

Comfort zone I guess...

 

[tiertime]

So both salaries go into one bank account? Your spouse just take allowance from it? How many %? Does your spouse have fixed bills (parents allowance, insurance premiums, instalment plans, credit card bills etc) to pay?

You are helping to manage and clear the debt?

My spouse spends a lot on insurance premiums unfortunately... last time supported sister when she was doing this part time in Uni. -_- other than that, he’s a saver. But doesn’t invest, doesn’t credit salary to higher interest account (still using OCBC frank account)...

ya only 1 bank account...
we have everything u mentioned to pay and more...
The allowance will cover only for transport and meals

for the debts... my parents behind my back helped pay off on some occasions, but i only found out many years later...

That time i quickly worked out a way for us to take on part time jobs to help pay off the debts, so everyday after we knock off ard 7pm , we will do this PT job until dead tired then go home..

It lasted for a few years... it was probably none of my business but i still did offer to help, it can be totally fustrating when u see the other party not wanting to put in the extra effort or coorporate at times due to tiredness

spouse paying for their own family expenses we can only close one eye, if argue when we find out about it, next time will cause them to hide things and become dishonest

if your spouse is not willing to let u manage his finance, this kind of thing also cannot be forced, just do your rightful part can liao

if he one day see that u r managing better than him, he may change his mind and let u manage his

 

[lupster]

Shouldnt this be discussed before getting married? =/

 

[tiertime]

Shouldnt this be discussed before getting married? =/

sometimes u find out things too late... only after u put in a lot of effort and time in the relationship

 

[peppermint7]

ya only 1 bank account...
we have everything u mentioned to pay and more...
The allowance will cover only for transport and meals

for the debts... my parents behind my back helped pay off on some occasions, but i only found out many years later...

That time i quickly worked out a way for us to take on part time jobs to help pay off the debts, so everyday after we knock off ard 7pm , we will do this PT job until dead tired then go home..

It lasted for a few years... it was probably none of my business but i still did offer to help, it can be totally fustrating when u see the other party not wanting to put in the extra effort or coorporate at times due to tiredness

spouse paying for their own family expenses we can only close one eye, if argue when we find out about it, next time will cause them to hide things and become dishonest

if your spouse is not willing to let u manage his finance, this kind of thing also cannot be forced, just do your rightful part can liao

if he one day see that u r managing better than him, he may change his mind and let u manage his

U are a good and patient spouse who endures all

 

[tiertime]

U are a good and patient spouse who endures all

i believe give and take in relationship, cannot be always 1 side giving, then the other side will be drained...

 

[havetheveryfun]

TS you are a good wife.

If a guy is not interested in talking about finance, chances are he never will.

As long as he saves prudently and does not anyhow spend or keep asking you for money , it is good.

Perhaps just ask him to contribute to a common fund for your shared expenses and tell you you will also contribute the same amount and you will handle the common fund .. most likely he will agree... common fund for utilities bills, children's expenses, parents etc. savings and retirements wise let him do himself.

 

[zzzzzz87]

TS you are a good wife.

If a guy is not interested in talking about finance, chances are he never will.

As long as he saves prudently and does not anyhow spend or keep asking you for money , it is good.

Perhaps just ask him to contribute to a common fund for your shared expenses and tell you you will also contribute the same amount and you will handle the common fund .. most likely he will agree... common fund for utilities bills, children's expenses, parents etc. savings and retirements wise let him do himself.

Yeah he’s good in the ways u mention. I don’t deny. Very thrifty person except that he has a lot of insurance premiums to pay and it seems like other financial advisors don’t recommend him to drop them after looking through them.

We do contribute to a joint account monthly before we got married and both of us have never missed any contributions too.

More of thinking how we can better maximise our retirement as well as kids education with our current situation and how we can make our current situation better.

Simple things like changing salary crediting account. And oh yes, I finally managed to convince him to change already. Just managed to.

 

[lifeislonggamma]

How do you all discuss or talk about finance with your spouse?

My spouse is not interested in talking about finance.

Hope to hear from you all how do you all handle it if you face similar issues or if you don’t face similar issues, how do you all sort things out?

Like one person handle or what?

Finance meaning savings, investments, retirement plans, kids education fees etc.

Caveat: I have no money and no spouse.

Find out what his longer term concerns are, as well as his goals, if any. Take the time to understand his state of mind and see how to build bridges towards finance since these longer term issues often involve financial decisions.

Even if you cannot get hi to be interested, such an approach can help uncover why he is averse to the topic of finance.

Look at the GROW model of coaching and adapt accordingly.

 

[kokjj87]

This kind of thing better talk before marriage.
Since already married. Should be able to talk about anything right?

 

[HoLoGram]

How do you all discuss or talk about finance with your spouse?

My spouse is not interested in talking about finance.

Hope to hear from you all how do you all handle it if you face similar issues or if you don’t face similar issues, how do you all sort things out?

Like one person handle or what?

Finance meaning savings, investments, retirement plans, kids education fees etc.

Just to share how my spouse and I handle things relating to finance from the beginning. We agreed about 2 years prior to getting married to set up a joint account and have a standing order to make monthly contributions into the bank account to pay for wedding, renovation, and household expenses going forward etc. However, it doesn't seem to make sense to have all the account full of cash that's earning miserable interest. As such, we funneled half into regular investment plan (to purchase ETF) to dollar cost average and make the money work harder for us to generate dividends.

It's been quite a no. of years and the above is still in motion.

We also agreed early on that we need to have a financial plan till end of time rather than clutch at straws and hope for best as we go through life. That reduces the stress associated with talking about finances since we know upfront how much that's needed to be saved and invested - end goal and also on a quarterly basis.

So we built a very extensive Excel model based on what we need between now to retirement and beyond (no. of kids, expenses - kids, kids' education, childcare, insurance food, transportation, allowance for aged parents, holidays, almost everything under the sun). It's also comprehensive in that it includes our combined current cash and investment and assumptions on future investment returns, salary increments, etc.

From there, the model spits out the amount needed to be saved and invested on a quarterly basis and we keep track of that quarterly by keying in all our cash and investments in the Excel sheet on the next columns. As such, we know on a quarterly basis if we are on track in our goal.

I'm the one who largely handles the investment decisions while my spouse handles the household expenses.

I don't recall us having any disagreements on finances. Believe it's likely helped by us having an agreed plan to stick to from the beginning and the demarcation of responsibilities are spelled out from the start.

 

[zzzzzz87]

This kind of thing better talk before marriage.
Since already married. Should be able to talk about anything right?

I shouldn’t say I can’t talk to him. More of how can I convince him to be more interested to find out more (even when I provide links to him) on his own or proactively taking steps to change, such as salary crediting account.

I should say he’s not so proactive in trying to learn about investments (be it stocks, bonds, etc) at all and is more into just traditional saving even though he owns an ILP because his sister used to be an Insurance Agent and sold him many WL policies and an ILP and he was being supportive as a brother.