I dislike this young man that my daughter seems to fancy (at last night's Xmas party)

[botakchek]

Before we go off to JP for Xmas and Oshogatsu, my daughter held a mini party at home last evening.

There was this young guy that my daughter seemed happy to chat, joke. I had observed she was always smiling at his humour.

I found out a few things:

1) He rented a car and volunteered to "ferry" a couple of friends to our place. Granted we are in a not so accessible area, he could have shared a Grab ride. I think he is showing off.

2) He darted around our place as if familiar with the setting. It is his first visit. He settled himself, without consideration of himself being merely a visitor, a guest. Acted as if he is the host. No big no small. I have no clue for how long he has met my daughter.

3) At 4 years older than my daughter (21), he completed his NS, Poly, and did a few businesses, as he claimed (or odd jobs as I sensed). I was not a good student, but his 18 points for O level amazed me. He told me he is a startup entrepreneur/marketing consultant. He talks a lot of topics, but shallow in discourse.

4) The family and social gaps are too wide. I grew up in a rental flat. My parents worked hard, upgraded themselves, progressed through the years. My parents were frugal, no gambling, drinking, smoking. This young man has stayed in the same housing estate, same flat since young. I wondered why the lack of upward social and financial mobility. Was there any attempts at hard work, goal-getting, or enjoyed life in the moment? Does he not have a mentor? Role model?

5) He is a damn good, sweet talker. The type that will give way to my daughter momentarily, make her happy, cheerful. Couldn't he employ his EQ for making $$$$, instead of in social conversation?

My hunch tells me this guy is not gonna to achieve much, and there will be no good outcome for my daughter. There is no compatibility. A 3rd rated poly and odd jober versus an Oxford alumnus.

I'm writing this to let out air and to see if any experienced fathers have good advice.

My wife and I will chat with her in JP. I will not leave her alone, with this chap.

I have read too many Edmwer posts and also heard from classmates about non-working husbands, lying flat at home, leeching on the wife. Such a menace, pest.

if he can make your daughter wet, will you like him more? after all you also guy

 

[qhong61]

but maybe you are primp and proper..

TS is saying that guy gives off a vibe of a sweet talker , not grounded and no big no small (no manners) and also not high IQ. (coz 18 points for O levels) for his Oxford alumnus dotter. (high IQ).
and of course... whole family no fighting ambition. (that one maybe a little off.. coz actually should just see the kid only. Some kids become very hungry because of the parents situation).

Really sound like moelanyong

 

[huattoeat]

born poor is a sin.

being poor is a sin.

no rich no good.

help y'all samurai liaos.

 

[1982-1994]

also not high IQ. (coz 18 points for O levels)

Like that ah, then me maybe 30 leh though my IQ is average at 105

 

[tarui04]

Subtle flex at Oxford

 

[Hypernova]

The family and social gaps are too wide. I grew up in a rental flat. My parents worked hard, upgraded themselves, progressed through the years. My parents were frugal, no gambling, drinking, smoking. This young man has stayed in the same housing estate, same flat since young. I wondered why the lack of upward social and financial mobility. Was there any attempts at hard work, goal-getting, or enjoyed life in the moment? Does he not have a mentor? Role model?

you look down on your own past ah? your daughter seeing a person who was from your old neighbourhood and you hiam the person.

TS also mention 'parents' work hard to upgrade, not TS upgrade. the guy's parents bo upgrade what has it got to do with him? TS don't make your parents' achievements your own achievements please.

 

[focus1974]

Like that ah, then me maybe 30 leh though my IQ is average at 105

no offence to you or your inlaws (donno the context of yours) .
but must consider the context of the inlaws too.

TS already says he is upward mobility gang.. so now should be living better than 80% of the population.
so he only wants his dotter to 赢在起跑点。 good inlaws family, good son-in-law with IQ, maybe will give birth to kids who can become scholars/doctors .. etc etc.

So back to wood door match wood door, silver spoon match silver spoon.

No right or wrong.


For each gen to get better and better, it's usually the case of marrying up or equal, never marrying down. That's why son-in-law must be at least decent enough to maintain the living standard. (For my case, my wife family is very poor. But my family dont mind.. coz my wife is decent.. but not as intelligent as me. hehe.. that one i say one)

 

[alex22]

Hope the boy will read this post and go away.

So I was right after all?
U spotted him browsing edmw too!?!

 

[focus1974]

Wait for him to have full sleeve tats and go prison squat first. Come out already sure becum successful. Your dotter can wait for him

quote for truth!

 

[BohemianSG]

Before we go off to JP for Xmas and Oshogatsu, my daughter held a mini party at home last evening.

There was this young guy that my daughter seemed happy to chat, joke. I had observed she was always smiling at his humour.

I found out a few things:

1) He rented a car and volunteered to "ferry" a couple of friends to our place. Granted we are in a not so accessible area, he could have shared a Grab ride. I think he is showing off.

2) He darted around our place as if familiar with the setting. It is his first visit. He settled himself, without consideration of himself being merely a visitor, a guest. Acted as if he is the host. No big no small. I have no clue for how long he has met my daughter.

3) At 4 years older than my daughter (21), he completed his NS, Poly, and did a few businesses, as he claimed (or odd jobs as I sensed). I was not a good student, but his 18 points for O level amazed me. He told me he is a startup entrepreneur/marketing consultant. He talks a lot of topics, but shallow in discourse.

4) The family and social gaps are too wide. I grew up in a rental flat. My parents worked hard, upgraded themselves, progressed through the years. My parents were frugal, no gambling, drinking, smoking. This young man has stayed in the same housing estate, same flat since young. I wondered why the lack of upward social and financial mobility. Was there any attempts at hard work, goal-getting, or enjoyed life in the moment? Does he not have a mentor? Role model?

5) He is a damn good, sweet talker. The type that will give way to my daughter momentarily, make her happy, cheerful. Couldn't he employ his EQ for making $$$$, instead of in social conversation?

My hunch tells me this guy is not gonna to achieve much, and there will be no good outcome for my daughter. There is no compatibility. A 3rd rated poly and odd jober versus an Oxford alumnus.

I'm writing this to let out air and to see if any experienced fathers have good advice.

My wife and I will chat with her in JP. I will not leave her alone, with this chap.

I have read too many Edmwer posts and also heard from classmates about non-working husbands, lying flat at home, leeching on the wife. Such a menace, pest.

You do know that dotters like guys who have similar traits as their father rite? U dun like your own reflection?

 

[Lemonpeach]

Your moniker reminds me of @meatbao

Who?

We got so many passers-by. I've only this one account. Also not on any other forums. Got anger, can only vent out here.

 

[Lemonpeach]

Are u Tharman?

U mean our President?
Please.
Many Singaporeans got Japanese wife la.

 

[alex22]

Yalor TS father in law probably had bad impression on TS too haha.

Who knows, maybe is same social strata, old money associates

 

[alex22]

Yeah I wished so that I could have chiobu as gf

Plural form needed @1982-1994 dun sell yourself short

 

[Lemonpeach]

You do know that dotters like guys who have similar traits as their father rite? U dun like your own reflection?

I'm not like that brat. I did not go to my wife's parents house and darted around. I'm also not a smooth talker; actually I'm pretty straight. I'm also not useless like him to hit 18 points and pretended to be an entrepreneur with limited experience, and from a 3rd rated poly.

 

[Lemonpeach]

So I was right after all?
U spotted him browsing edmw too!?!

No. I said hope. Not sure if that gen even know HWZ and edmw

 

[alex22]

Good sweet talkers are the ones that will go far in sinkieland career

Yes sibei many from the talent recognized south asian country that cannot be named here

 

[Lemonpeach]

I shared again the story of my room mate when I was in the US (about 40 years ago).

Her family background was good with mum as a principal of a ‘good’ school and dad was also an educator in a tertiary institution.

She went to the US for her degree after A level, leaving her boyfriend in Spore.

While there, she let loose and slept around with many ONS cases.

When her parents and boyfriend visiting her, she returned to her ‘demur’ image.

She graduated with almost a perfect GPA.

*my girl also has a good frn like this - rich and strict family upbringing with strong academic results since pr school. Once reached US for her degree at 18/19 yo, the FIRST THING she did was to give up her virginity to a boy whom she met during orientation.

We could only speculate these girls just want to get out from whatever parameters that their parents set for them since young and be ‘rebellious’ at least for once in their lives.

So, kids who are too guai / too 'perfect' since young can be a 'problem' later in life.

This is always at the back of my mind. During my time, I've seen such. Fathers are always protective of their kids, especially daughters.

 

[alex22]

Ang mo. She must have many others. But she told the mum, not me.

Oil rig liao

 

[Lemonpeach]

if he can make your daughter wet, will you like him more? after all you also guy

Your advice is not helpful. She is my daughter. I don't care about others.