I dislike this young man that my daughter seems to fancy (at last night's Xmas party)

[Emperor_Hippo]

I've met a family like this before, DINK and guy stays home all day jobless while wife goes working.

Sweet talker and claims to be in marketing. Seems to me guys in marketing cannot be trusted ?

Guys in sales and marketing cannot be trusted.

nuff said.

 

[GloveK8]

Hmmmm, sorry TS, i think ur mindset is the typical old people mindset. I think most of your points are valid except the following few.

O levels tbh is not a good gauge. My ex partner dont even want to tell me her grades, she go private diploma only. Now earning 150k per annum at age 31 for a global mnc. Not in sales etc. But she can talk and has rather good eq. When she was young, i knew she was a deliquent etc.

Age 21 how to change flat? Most will just stay with parents. Then when get married then just move out of the place. Not everyone has to fit in your ideal thinking or mould then is good. Need to be more open minded.

I think u are right that he is a chee hong kia. But some of ur comments are really very typical sinkie comments i hear from my office aunties.

At the end of the day, as long as the guy or girl is a good person earning a honest living with a decent job. And treat ur daughter/son well, thats the most impt.

Seen so many **** up so called "proper up bringing" people as i climb the corporate ladder.

 

[Lemonpeach]

Now at airport lounge. Chose to utilise the chance to chat with her infront of wife, before departure. I asked her about the boy.

According to her, she knew him 6 weeks ago through a Tiktok page on cats and kittens. She did not have any serious relationship with him. Since arriving in SG, they've met 2 times at cafe. The boy had not visited our house previously.

She had not met any SG boys before and took the chance to find out. In their short interaction, she found him to be chatty, to the point of talkative. She felt he was shallow and could not hold a good conversation on a broad range of topics. She was displeased with him, introducing her as his "Japanese girlfriend" to his friends, without her consent. She felt being paraded. She dislike him probing about her studies in UK, family background, and whether she had any boyfriends. She found his table manners irritable.

I described the brief information that was discovered. Of the 3 businesses started by the boy over 4 years, 2 were strucked off by Acra. The current sole proprietorship to offer marketing consultancy was formed 6 months ago. The first 2 involved bicycle accessories and sale of camping and sports equipment. The entrepreneurship track record is questionable.

I explained some Singaporean boys burnt out after years of schooling and by NS. They faced pressure to achieve within a short time. But their exposure and experience are limited, often revolved around school, parents and grand-parents, tuition, NS, peers, neighbourhood; insufficient to enable preparation beyond an employee. I did not wish to see her exploited as a leverage.

I asked why she seemed to fancy him at the party. According to her, Singaporean boys are simple and are easily triggered. The boy had reacted intensely to her cuteness, and in response, went the extra mile to pay for meals and undertake errands. She said she enjoyed the "social experiment".

I advised her they are of different worlds. Wealth enables, money solves. Couples should bring positives to the table, add value to the relationship. Being lovey-dovey with little money cannot sustain. There were a few stories of jobless or non-working husband/bf lazing at home on console games while the wife or gf has to work their hearts out. Some even borrowed and demand money from wife. In a breakup, given adequate wealth, life goes on, even with kids. It is important to be down-to-earth.

She assured she had no desire to maintain any relationship after Christmas, and will block the WhatsApp and line contact of the boy.

I guess my daughter had grown up. I assumed what she explained to be true. I had probably over-reacted as I was protective. I was glad I got this matter off my chest.

I wish to thank a few edmwer fathers for their advice. I will also take up the advice to meet up with a family coach. My US team told me if I feed my thread into a company tool that is used for psychometric assessment, I can know myself more. It is a proprietary AI tool to evaluate combat soldiers. Look forward to it.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all. No further posting.

 

[helloicanseeu]

My dotter likes him, I don't ...gl ig

 

[alex22]

I'm impressed at how conveniently this folded back. Ignoring my edmw brain mumbling "school holidays, school holidays"...

Now at airport lounge. Chose to utilise the chance to chat with her infront of wife, before departure. I asked her about the boy.

According to her, she knew him 6 weeks ago through a Tiktok page on cats and kittens. She did not have any serious relationship with him. Since arriving in SG, they've met 2 times at cafe. The boy had not visited our house previously.

She had not met any SG boys before and took the chance to find out. In their short interaction, she found him to be chatty, to the point of talkative. She felt he was shallow and could not hold a good conversation on a broad range of topics. She was displeased with him, introducing her as his "Japanese girlfriend" to his friends, without her consent. She felt being paraded. She dislike him probing about her studies in UK, family background, and whether she had any boyfriends. She found his table manners irritable.

I described the brief information that was discovered. Of the 3 businesses started by the boy over 4 years, 2 were strucked off by Acra. The current sole proprietorship to offer marketing consultancy was formed 6 months ago. The first 2 involved bicycle accessories and sale of camping and sports equipment. The entrepreneurship track record is questionable.

I explained some Singaporean boys burnt out after years of schooling and by NS. They faced pressure to achieve within a short time. But their exposure and experience are limited, often revolved around school, parents and grand-parents, tuition, NS, peers, neighbourhood; insufficient to enable preparation beyond an employee. I did not wish to see her exploited as a leverage.

I asked why she seemed to fancy him at the party. According to her, Singaporean boys are simple and are easily triggered. The boy had reacted intensely to her cuteness, and in response, went the extra mile to pay for meals and undertake errands. She said she enjoyed the "social experiment".

I advised her they are of different worlds. Wealth enables, money solves. Couples should bring positives to the table, add value to the relationship. Being lovey-dovey with little money cannot sustain. There were a few stories of jobless or non-working husband/bf lazing at home on console games while the wife or gf has to work their hearts out. Some even borrowed and demand money from wife. In a breakup, given adequate wealth, life goes on, even with kids. It is important to be down-to-earth.

She assured she had no desire to maintain any relationship after Christmas, and will block the WhatsApp and line contact of the boy.

I guess my daughter had grown up. I assumed what she explained to be true. I had probably over-reacted as I was protective. I was glad I got this matter off my chest.

I wish to thank a few edmwer fathers for their advice. I will also take up the advice to meet up with a family coach. My US team told me if I feed my thread into a company tool that is used for psychometric assessment, I can know myself more. It is a proprietary AI tool to evaluate combat soldiers. Look forward to it.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all. No further posting.

 

[Newtype_com]

Not sure if csb or not

But 100% for effort

 

[luckygal]

How you know is the guy not worthy of your daughter. Maybe is your daughter not worthy of that guy. Don’t see your daughter so up.

 

[JonWeak]

If you feel he is a player then you best invite him for kopi. Make it known that if anything happens to your dotter you will hunt him down.

 

[white_prince]

Before we go off to JP for Xmas and Oshogatsu, my daughter held a mini party at home last evening.

There was this young guy that my daughter seemed happy to chat, joke. I had observed she was always smiling at his humour.

I found out a few things:

1) He rented a car and volunteered to "ferry" a couple of friends to our place. Granted we are in a not so accessible area, he could have shared a Grab ride. I think he is showing off.

2) He darted around our place as if familiar with the setting. It is his first visit. He settled himself, without consideration of himself being merely a visitor, a guest. Acted as if he is the host. No big no small. I have no clue for how long he has met my daughter.

3) At 4 years older than my daughter (21), he completed his NS, Poly, and did a few businesses, as he claimed (or odd jobs as I sensed). I was not a good student, but his 18 points for O level amazed me. He told me he is a startup entrepreneur/marketing consultant. He talks a lot of topics, but shallow in discourse.

4) The family and social gaps are too wide. I grew up in a rental flat. My parents worked hard, upgraded themselves, progressed through the years. My parents were frugal, no gambling, drinking, smoking. This young man has stayed in the same housing estate, same flat since young. I wondered why the lack of upward social and financial mobility. Was there any attempts at hard work, goal-getting, or enjoyed life in the moment? Does he not have a mentor? Role model?

5) He is a damn good, sweet talker. The type that will give way to my daughter momentarily, make her happy, cheerful. Couldn't he employ his EQ for making $$$$, instead of in social conversation?

My hunch tells me this guy is not gonna to achieve much, and there will be no good outcome for my daughter. There is no compatibility. A 3rd rated poly and odd jober versus an Oxford alumnus.

I'm writing this to let out air and to see if any experienced fathers have good advice.

My wife and I will chat with her in JP. I will not leave her alone, with this chap.

I have read too many Edmwer posts and also heard from classmates about non-working husbands, lying flat at home, leeching on the wife. Such a menace, pest.

TS dont think too much. Just let nature takes place.
It might turn out he will really be a great person next time OR your daughter will find real love, not this guy.

 

[Rock Hardy]

Oxford

Your daughter studied there and is falling for this ?

 

[Rock Hardy]

chope slam and dtt him lo

and

 

[Dinoboyboy]

Guys in sales and marketing cannot be trusted.

nuff said.

Yea bro, the best guys are those 39 yo’s working in accounting department…guai guai buy bbt for his dinobu corrlicks type.

 

[CanIsayNo]

point 1- yes u are right, sounds like he may be the type who spends on impulse. girls who are misguided(most of them are) like this type. they see this as “go getters”. these sort of guys usually no savings and your daughter will end up supporting him

point 2- seems the very confident type, doesnt know how to “feel bad” and may not be one to make an effort consider other people’s feelings. may be the type to step on others to get ahead since he doesnt make a point to care about other people’s feelings. again, misguided girls like these type as they see this as “confidence”

point 3- similar to point 1, the show off type who talks a lot to try to impress everyone around him. maybe got some insecurity leading him to seek validation by showing off? or some other reason

point 5- seems to align with all the points mentioned above. misguided girls will see him as “go getter”, “confident”, knows what he wants, flashy, show off type, sweet talker, misguided girls love these type.

but having said all these, sometimes these types are the ones that make it big cos they know how to fake it till they make it lol

 

[kopi_oppa]

Now at airport lounge. Chose to utilise the chance to chat with her infront of wife, before departure. I asked her about the boy.

According to her, she knew him 6 weeks ago through a Tiktok page on cats and kittens. She did not have any serious relationship with him. Since arriving in SG, they've met 2 times at cafe. The boy had not visited our house previously.

She had not met any SG boys before and took the chance to find out. In their short interaction, she found him to be chatty, to the point of talkative. She felt he was shallow and could not hold a good conversation on a broad range of topics. She was displeased with him, introducing her as his "Japanese girlfriend" to his friends, without her consent. She felt being paraded. She dislike him probing about her studies in UK, family background, and whether she had any boyfriends. She found his table manners irritable.

I described the brief information that was discovered. Of the 3 businesses started by the boy over 4 years, 2 were strucked off by Acra. The current sole proprietorship to offer marketing consultancy was formed 6 months ago. The first 2 involved bicycle accessories and sale of camping and sports equipment. The entrepreneurship track record is questionable.

I explained some Singaporean boys burnt out after years of schooling and by NS. They faced pressure to achieve within a short time. But their exposure and experience are limited, often revolved around school, parents and grand-parents, tuition, NS, peers, neighbourhood; insufficient to enable preparation beyond an employee. I did not wish to see her exploited as a leverage.

I asked why she seemed to fancy him at the party. According to her, Singaporean boys are simple and are easily triggered. The boy had reacted intensely to her cuteness, and in response, went the extra mile to pay for meals and undertake errands. She said she enjoyed the "social experiment".

I advised her they are of different worlds. Wealth enables, money solves. Couples should bring positives to the table, add value to the relationship. Being lovey-dovey with little money cannot sustain. There were a few stories of jobless or non-working husband/bf lazing at home on console games while the wife or gf has to work their hearts out. Some even borrowed and demand money from wife. In a breakup, given adequate wealth, life goes on, even with kids. It is important to be down-to-earth.

She assured she had no desire to maintain any relationship after Christmas, and will block the WhatsApp and line contact of the boy.

I guess my daughter had grown up. I assumed what she explained to be true. I had probably over-reacted as I was protective. I was glad I got this matter off my chest.

I wish to thank a few edmwer fathers for their advice. I will also take up the advice to meet up with a family coach. My US team told me if I feed my thread into a company tool that is used for psychometric assessment, I can know myself more. It is a proprietary AI tool to evaluate combat soldiers. Look forward to it.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all. No further posting.

You must felt so relieved, enjoy your family trip

 

[Laneige]

i think u dont interfere too much but just remind yr daughter to

1- beware of guys. learn how to see a person from behavior and not talks
2- dont anyhow go ppl place. dont get drunk etc
3- dont think friends r really friends.

from time to time show her news of how female friends can sabo friends n let them be raped / zzz by other friends.
or boy friend also too trusting of other friends and end up zzz etc.

 

[pushtopen]

18 pages of discussion over vivid imagination

I'm impressed, keep it up yo but I will be honest and confess I only read first and last post by ts

 

[qhong61]

DPX.........

 

[Roid Rage]

Before we go off to JP for Xmas and Oshogatsu, my daughter held a mini party at home last evening.

There was this young guy that my daughter seemed happy to chat, joke. I had observed she was always smiling at his humour.

I found out a few things:

1) He rented a car and volunteered to "ferry" a couple of friends to our place. Granted we are in a not so accessible area, he could have shared a Grab ride. I think he is showing off.

2) He darted around our place as if familiar with the setting. It is his first visit. He settled himself, without consideration of himself being merely a visitor, a guest. Acted as if he is the host. No big no small. I have no clue for how long he has met my daughter.

3) At 4 years older than my daughter (21), he completed his NS, Poly, and did a few businesses, as he claimed (or odd jobs as I sensed). I was not a good student, but his 18 points for O level amazed me. He told me he is a startup entrepreneur/marketing consultant. He talks a lot of topics, but shallow in discourse.

4) The family and social gaps are too wide. I grew up in a rental flat. My parents worked hard, upgraded themselves, progressed through the years. My parents were frugal, no gambling, drinking, smoking. This young man has stayed in the same housing estate, same flat since young. I wondered why the lack of upward social and financial mobility. Was there any attempts at hard work, goal-getting, or enjoyed life in the moment? Does he not have a mentor? Role model?

5) He is a damn good, sweet talker. The type that will give way to my daughter momentarily, make her happy, cheerful. Couldn't he employ his EQ for making $$$$, instead of in social conversation?

My hunch tells me this guy is not gonna to achieve much, and there will be no good outcome for my daughter. There is no compatibility. A 3rd rated poly and odd jober versus an Oxford alumnus.

I'm writing this to let out air and to see if any experienced fathers have good advice.

My wife and I will chat with her in JP. I will not leave her alone, with this chap.

I have read too many Edmwer posts and also heard from classmates about non-working husbands, lying flat at home, leeching on the wife. Such a menace, pest.

yeah just talk to your daughter. but most FIL will hate the SIL one la. cause no one deserves your little princess.

chillax papa

 

[yves]

This type sure can't wait to pump and dump one.......

 

[tokcocksingsong]

Before we go off to JP for Xmas and Oshogatsu, my daughter held a mini party at home last evening.

There was this young guy that my daughter seemed happy to chat, joke. I had observed she was always smiling at his humour.

I found out a few things:

1) He rented a car and volunteered to "ferry" a couple of friends to our place. Granted we are in a not so accessible area, he could have shared a Grab ride. I think he is showing off.

2) He darted around our place as if familiar with the setting. It is his first visit. He settled himself, without consideration of himself being merely a visitor, a guest. Acted as if he is the host. No big no small. I have no clue for how long he has met my daughter.

3) At 4 years older than my daughter (21), he completed his NS, Poly, and did a few businesses, as he claimed (or odd jobs as I sensed). I was not a good student, but his 18 points for O level amazed me. He told me he is a startup entrepreneur/marketing consultant. He talks a lot of topics, but shallow in discourse.

4) The family and social gaps are too wide. I grew up in a rental flat. My parents worked hard, upgraded themselves, progressed through the years. My parents were frugal, no gambling, drinking, smoking. This young man has stayed in the same housing estate, same flat since young. I wondered why the lack of upward social and financial mobility. Was there any attempts at hard work, goal-getting, or enjoyed life in the moment? Does he not have a mentor? Role model?

5) He is a damn good, sweet talker. The type that will give way to my daughter momentarily, make her happy, cheerful. Couldn't he employ his EQ for making $$$$, instead of in social conversation?

My hunch tells me this guy is not gonna to achieve much, and there will be no good outcome for my daughter. There is no compatibility. A 3rd rated poly and odd jober versus an Oxford alumnus.

I'm writing this to let out air and to see if any experienced fathers have good advice.

My wife and I will chat with her in JP. I will not leave her alone, with this chap.

I have read too many Edmwer posts and also heard from classmates about non-working husbands, lying flat at home, leeching on the wife. Such a menace, pest.

uncle
why you see me no up?
its okay
i will proof myself to you and your daughter and our unborn daughter that i can make it okay?

now i am going to sell door to door ice-cream
and will treat your daughter cai peng WITH fish