Curious: At which point will EDMWers consider divorce?

[Atilas]

酱浪漫？

Nope, have to choose wisely and then make efforts to maintain relationship. Cannot take things for granted. Once one party starts to do that out of habit, then the end of the relationship will not be too far.

 

[XcoVar]

I think a lot of Korkors actually look beyond the dinobu rah… just that I wonder if one day will think don’t want to ren anymore if s/he do things you don’t like or bad mood

It takes alot for a couple to have healthy and lasting relationship. Compatible partners brings out the good in each other. Toxic relationships can be draining, it brings out the devil. Same goes to friends and family members. You dun wanna stay with someone who keeps draining your positive energy.

 

[couch.potato]

Nope, have to choose wisely and then make efforts to maintain relationship. Cannot take things for granted. Once one party starts to do that out of habit, then the end of the relationship will not be too far.

True. But sometimes daily stressors really too much, then one side snaps also cannot really blame but then maybe it’s the beginning of the end riao

Must both sides work hard to work on it

 

[coyote]

Partly down to genetics and personal lifestyle. Heng moi wife still well maintained. She mid 40s riaoz.

That's a rich tai Tai

 

[li9ht5peed]

i have no boundaries

 

[couch.potato]

It takes alot for a couple to have healthy and lasting relationship. Compatible partners brings out the good in each other, while toxic relationships can be very draining, it brings out the devils. Depends on each tolerance la.

I think the scary thing is phases
At some point maybe this 10 years really get along and very happy, then he next 10 years because of whatever that happens then suddenly don’t get along or always quarrel…

even if very compatible at the start, also maybe 消磨 by life events… also quite sad

 

[Encouragesome1]

At which point, what is the boundary crossed, that u feel must divorce riao no other way?

If the person violent / abuse another go seek help. If cannot stop herself/ himself then need separate

if the person have small 3 and the other spouse cannot forgive him/ her

 

[XcoVar]

Ya lor. If one side is not pulling weight but still got attitude, I guess will snap eventually. Then if it’s mental health issue even worse… quarrel also no use…

Healthy relationship shouldn't be stressful in the 1st place.

 

[couch.potato]

If the person violent / abuse another go seek help. If cannot stop herself/ himself then need separate

if the person have small 3 and the other spouse cannot forgive him/ her

U same as my TW zehzeh
She say outside of 出轨 or 动手 all is 小事

 

[dambio]

Ya lor. If one side is not pulling weight but still got attitude, I guess will snap eventually. Then if it’s mental health issue even worse… quarrel also no use…

Becos initially 1 party kept giving in. Then d other party took advantage lor.

Treat too good cannot. Too bad also cannot. Unless you're so bad like players who knows how to put them in d grasp of Ur palms. Do wat to them, beat them, abuse them. They also wun leave u type. As love tat person wholeheartedly Liao.

In a normal rs. 1 side kept giving, d other side just kept taking. Later rs become imbalance n d other side tat always lose out also will become imbalance mentally in d rs.

Pent up frustrations, grudges waiting to explode Oni. Tis is d case for many rs now. Even for married couples. Tats y alot regretted marrying. Or say choose d wrong person n then alot divorced.

 

[couch.potato]

Healthy relationship shouldn't be stressful in the 1st place.

True but also idealistic no? Everyone reacts to, say, parenthood differently. So the stressors change as you age. Or say an ill parent. Or loss of job causing loss of identity… etc

 

[Atilas]

True. But sometimes daily stressors really too much, then one side snaps also cannot really blame but then maybe it’s the beginning of the end riao

Must both sides work hard to work on it

Yes, that's right. The choice of marrying the right person becomes important. Sadly, not everyone marries the person who is compatible to their values and their lifestyles, but because of other factors.

Even compatible values changed over the course of life.

 

[Dinoboyboy]

5 mins after piak piak.

 

[couch.potato]

Becos initially 1 party kept giving in. Then d other party took advantage lor.

Treat too good cannot. Too bad also cannot. Unless you're so bad like players who knows how to put them in d grasp of Ur palms. Do wat to them, beat them, abuse them. They also wun leave u type. As love tat person wholeheartedly Liao.

In a normal rs. 1 side kept giving, d other side just kept taking. Later rs become imbalance n d other side tat always lose out also will become imbalance mentally in d rs.

Pent up frustrations, grudges waiting to explode Oni. Tis is d case for many rs now. Even for married couples. Tats y alot regretted marrying. Or say choose d wrong person n then alot divorced.

I agree but I always tell my father if the Korkor handsome enough I anything also can

But sometimes it’s hard to see the imbalance until it explodes… because sometimes one side feels like they compromising but the other side don’t feel so… like, u think u sacrifice but its actually just normal things…

 

[couch.potato]

Yes, that's right. The choice of marrying the right person becomes important. Sadly, not everyone marries the person who is compatible to their values and their lifestyles, but because of other factors.

Even compatible values change over the course of life.

Hannor! That’s the scary part
Character and values can change (even slightly) when things happen like parenthood or illness etc or just in general life. Who might be compatible at 25 might not be at 35 or 45 when your world view changes also… so scary

 

[Encouragesome1]

U same as my TW zehzeh
She say outside of 出轨 or 动手 all is 小事

Back in my a kong and my Dua pek times even beating wife up is a small n never mind thg , so scary eh

 

[dambio]

I agree but I always tell my father if the Korkor handsome enough I anything also can

But sometimes it’s hard to see the imbalance until it explodes… because sometimes one side feels like they compromising but the other side don’t feel so… like, u think u sacrifice but its actually just normal things…

U see la. Ur 1st part just validates my point

Just judge whether it's an equal rs. Where both makes effort in d rs to make it work. N contributes everything fairly.

Of cos on somethings 1 party shld be or seen as shld do more. Tats fine. As long as d other party will appreciate n give back also.

Those who think u hv more u more richer. So it's natural u shld do more pay more give more is out to take advantage lor.

I hv I can but y shld I? Am I being calculative when you're just out to fleece me?

 

[MisterRei]

When communication is almost impossible and every action is questioned and assumed to be motivated solely by hatred, it feels as though we are meeting for the first time and are cautiously distancing ourselves from one another.

Perhaps, at that point?

 

[XcoVar]

True but also idealistic no? Everyone reacts to, say, parenthood differently. So the stressors change as you age. Or say an ill parent. Or loss of job causing loss of identity… etc

Depends on level of understanding & foundation of the relationship. Mine started when I was broke and on the verge of bankruptcy.

 

[couch.potato]

U see la. Ur 1st part just validates my point

Just judge whether it's an equal rs. Where both makes effort in d rs to make it work. N contributes everything fairly.

Of cos on somethings 1 party shld be or seen as shld do more. Tats fine. As long as d other party will appreciate n give back also.

Those who think u hv more u more richer. So it's natural u shld do more pay more give more is out to take advantage lor.

I hv I can but y shld I? Am I being calculative when you're just out to fleece me?

Ya makes a lot of sense
Sometimes less of the “actual tangible” sacrifice than the “feeling” of whether you are being taken advantage of…

If from beginning is feel like “tolerating” then eventually will blow up even if never really “take advantage”…

yes I am willing to sleep under a bridge with my handsome gege