Anyone felt let down by your kids?

[Sammychan]

then change your mindset lor. you cannot control & change other ppl but u can change yrself. thats why life is abt doing inner work if u wanna grow and improve. its easier to point fingers for blaming others for disappointing us BUT at the end of the day, we're also part of the equation leh.

You sound like a wise man.

 

[Phen8210]

if the kid failed in life.. 99% of the time it's the parents' fault.. what can a kid possibly do?

Boomer is just treating children as investments and expecting return without even knowing how to groom their kids.

 

[ineser]

Its all about upbringing

 

[Kaylin]

You sound like a wise man.

no la, i learned through the hard way. i was a people pleaser with no boundaries last time then my life was in a mess. coz when i helped ppl i secretly expected payback. i was very unhappy so i decided to change.

 

[Sammychan]

no la, i learned through the hard way. i was a people pleaser with no boundaries last time then my life was in a mess. coz when i helped ppl i secretly expected payback. i was very unhappy so i decided to change.

Sounds like me now. Please people too much and all take me like a useful potato only

 

[Kaylin]

Sounds like me now. Please people too much and all take me like a useful potato only

but u can change one, but first of all u need to have the self awareness and accept you're a people pleaser lor. then you practice rejecting ppl and saying no. the 1st time i said no i was terrified leh, i was really scared ppl will be angry with me. but slowly 2nd time 3rd time it became easier. the amazing thing is i was able to respect myself more for saying no and ppl also respect me for it. we really teach ppl how to treat us, by how we treat ourselves first of all.

 

[hotamp]

TS got the canal option

 

[Sammychan]

but u can change one, but first of all u need to have the self awareness and accept you're a people pleaser lor. then you practice rejecting ppl and saying no. the 1st time i said no i was terrified leh, i was really scared ppl will be angry with me. but slowly 2nd time 3rd time it became easier. the amazing thing is i was able to respect myself more for saying no and ppl also respect me for it. we really teach ppl how to treat us, by how we treat ourselves first of all.

More people left?

 

[rachdanon]

More and more char siu what to do. Hate, angry, disrespect and never obey more common in today's age. I suspect the hate and pride is linked to the social media and Internet sub cultures, where birds of a feather flock together.

 

[Kaylin]

More people left?

as in ppl who couldnt accept my "no" and left? yes of course! but those ppl are not the ones that you shd keep either. you're not a garbage bin. ppl who love u (and themselves) will respect other ppl's boundaries.

 

[Sammychan]

as in ppl who couldnt accept my "no" and left? yes of course! but those ppl are not the ones that you shd keep either. you're not a garbage bin. ppl who love u (and themselves) will respect other ppl's boundaries.

True that.

 

[lazyclimb]

Like they disappoint you with their actions. For eg ang kong siao or always get into trouble or not nice to you or chao kuan character. And felt like bo bian still your own flesh and blood and have to accept him/her but deep insai really think he is a disgrace and if you had knew you rather abort the pregnancy.

Seriously, do you have any kid yet, or you're just posting this while in the fit of anger? Chill for a while first...

I know myself very well, and whom my parents are comparing me with. I abhor that. I have my dreams, my goals, my own plans and I have the confidence to pull the whole thing off. I had clashes with my parents a few times for insisting going my way, especially with my father, and had jiak lots of humble pies. In the end I'm more distance towards my father than to my mom.

Now that I have my ah girl and ah boy, I try not to dictate how they plan to go about their lives as long as they don't endanger themselves or disrespecting us as their parents and providers.

tl:dr - stop measuring your kids to the standards you hope for yourself. Refrain from agonising them for not meeting your expectation, and be glad that they're healthy and are hopeful for their future

 

[Dinoboyboy]

bookmarked this thread to see if moi parent is a secret edmwer.

 

[hmsweethm]

Thought ts is single, how come worrlee?

 

[Mecisteus]

I believe it all boils down to the parents and their upbringing.

I have seen many good parents with good children.

Good parents and bad children still have but should be rare. At least the parents tried their best.

 

[blahblahsheep]

Your kids are perfect I know. 'Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home'

but still tao jiak outsite. wahhahahaha

 

[Eternal-fire]

That's why I pew in the CD or tissue.

 

[wulu1_69]

Stay single or bbfa wouldn't have this problem