I am just pointing out that regardless of all the talk about self reliance, you ultimately still depends on others, especially a small country like Singapore. And help or the promise of help, comes with a price. No denying this. That's just the cruel fact of life.
You said 'best to' solve conflict by negotiation. I fully agree that it's best to do so but "best to" also means that there are other outcomes and if it comes down to that, you better wish that you wield a big enough stick so that the other party won't decide to steamroll you.
I don't think anyone is saying to be thankful to US so that's probably something in your headspace that's bothering you.