Curious: At which point will EDMWers consider divorce?

[drkcynic]

Partly down to genetics and personal lifestyle. Heng moi wife still well maintained. She mid 40s riaoz.

Need to play so big to GPGT mah? Lol.

 

[couch.potato]

When communication is almost impossible and every action is questioned and assumed to be motivated solely by hatred, it feels as though we are meeting for the first time and are cautiously distancing ourselves from one another.

Perhaps, at that point?

Yours makes a lot of sense
When normal conversation also 变调 already… maybe time to let go

sometimes is one side check out riao the other side still want to hold on…

 

[menthol28]

Everyone's boundary is different, sometimes can be a petty issue as different life style, while some others can tolerate being cheated on...

 

[couch.potato]

Depends on level of understanding & foundation of the relationship. Mine started when I was broke and on the verge of bankruptcy.

Yar that helps but also not a guarantee
Sacrificing together, also does not mean next time won’t 变质 变调 because human brain very complex…

maybe sometimes it’s better to don’t think so much and let things pass… then won’t build up resentment

 

[Lolile]

To most ppl is wear green hat. Irreconcilable differences. Or antics tat over time can't stand it alr.

1) Green hat I can understand cos before marriage u won’t know that this will happen unless your partner is very vain or sweet talker etc

2) Irreconcilable difference - how come before marriage they can’t see one meh?
3) Antics and chut patterns - this one should be able to tell during courtship .

Why do couples wanna commit to marriage for 2 & 3 since leopards can’t change their spots?

 

[dambio]

Ya makes a lot of sense
Sometimes less of the “actual tangible” sacrifice than the “feeling” of whether you are being taken advantage of…

If from beginning is feel like “tolerating” then eventually will blow up even if never really “take advantage”…

yes I am willing to sleep under a bridge with my handsome gege

Tangible is measured via actions n words in a rs. Intangible is d feel n mentality felt n gave in rs. Both must also be good. If not long term d rs sure break down.

I dun think tat yandao also will wanna sleep under a bridge la. Those sleep under a bridge where got or how to upkeep their yandao looks la

 

[couch.potato]

1) Green hat I can understand cos before marriage u won’t know that this will happen unless your partner is very vain or sweet talker etc

2) Irreconcilable difference - how come before marriage they can’t see one meh?
3) Antics and chut patterns - this one should be able to tell during courtship .

Why do couples wanna commit to marriage for 2 & 3 since leopards can’t change their spots?

Because before marriage the differences very little, the dopamine blinds you (yes even with long relationships). After marriage differences can increase and also in difficulty because family, kids, job security all become much more of an issue (more weight) than if just dating.

 

[Lolile]

Everyone's boundary is different, sometimes can be a petty issue as different life style, while some others can tolerate being cheated on...

Cheating is the ultimate betrayal in a marriage . How to tolerate? Even for the sake of kids, I think sibei super difficult to tolerate.

you can forgive but it’s so difficult to forget . The black mark is there forever . Tainted alr

 

[couch.potato]

Tangible is measured via actions n words in a rs. Intangible is d feel n mentality felt n gave in rs. Both must also be good. If not long term d rs sure break down.

I dun think tat yandao also will wanna sleep under a bridge la. Those sleep under a bridge where got or how to upkeep their yandao looks la

You are right. But sounds very very hard. Because everyone has their bad days/weeks/months. And sometimes spiral already hard to come out.

I will work and get him out of the bridge and make him yandao again

 

[orpisia]

Heng forever alone no need to worry

 

[Lchlch]

At which point, what is the boundary crossed, that u feel must divorce riao no other way?

best it to reconcile .
try to reconcile the differences.
dont go for divorce as an easy way out.
everything can be settle amicably.
both just need to give and take,
both need to forgive and forget any conflicts or arguements.
dont hold it on your heart for life.
treasure your spouse.

 

[Kaylin]

if independent will be during the 1st sign of discomfort. if dependent, he got affair also wont leave coz cant afford to sad truth

 

[vee4044]

At which point, what is the boundary crossed, that u feel must divorce riao no other way?

When can see Green Beret on ur Head........... Still can tolerate. I Salut U.

 

[couch.potato]

best it to reconcile .
try to reconcile the differences.
dont go for divorce as an easy way out.
everything can be settle amicably.
both just need to give and take,
both need to forgive and forget any conflicts or arguements.
dont hold it on your heart for life.
treasure your spouse.

Sometimes character changed and is set already, how to tolerate? If everyday quarrel then how? One side must tolerate? also not fair to both sides right

sometimes if u see ur spouse very unhappy with u (even in the little things), should u set them free?

 

[dambio]

1) Green hat I can understand cos before marriage u won’t know that this will happen unless your partner is very vain or sweet talker etc

2) Irreconcilable difference - how come before marriage they can’t see one meh?
3) Antics and chut patterns - this one should be able to tell during courtship .

Why do couples wanna commit to marriage for 2 & 3 since leopards can’t change their spots?

For 2 & 3. Ppl change, situation also later might change. Some is due to living habits. B4 hand nv stay together so dunno mah.

I talked to a married lady b4. She's very pissed by her childish husbands antics. Like shes reading or watching tv. D husband will come n disturb her. Like a light tap on d shoulder or other things.

She says very irritating n told d husband alr he also dun care.

 

[couch.potato]

if independent will be during the 1st sign of discomfort. if dependent, he got affair also wont leave coz cant afford to sad truth

First sign of discomfort then zhao I think a lot of divorces riao (but really quite a lot now lah)…

sometimes is like not big enough issue to leave for a lot of people, even though they seem very unhappy

 

[Lchlch]

Sometimes character changed and is set already, how to tolerate? If everyday quarrel then how? One side must tolerate? also not fair to both sides right

sometimes if u see ur spouse very unhappy with u (even in the little things), should u set them free?

it can be done.
Nothing is impossible.
every problems will have its own solution.
just dont haste to divorce.
work out something.....

 

[couch.potato]

For 2 & 3. Ppl change, situation also later might change. Some is due to living habits. B4 hand nv stay together so dunno mah.

I talked to a married lady b4. She's very pissed by her childish husbands antics. Like shes reading or watching tv. D husband will come n disturb her. Like a light tap on d shoulder or other things.

She says very irritating n told d husband alr he also dun care.

Must be the husband not yandao enough
Gege disturb me i will prance around play palace with him

 

[Kaylin]

Sometimes character changed and is set already, how to tolerate? If everyday quarrel then how? One side must tolerate? also not fair to both sides right

sometimes if u see ur spouse very unhappy with u (even in the little things), should u set them free?

thats why i always talk abt red flags, they appear usually within 6 mths right after the honeymoon phase. coz ppl cannot wear a mask forever so whatever put downs, criticisms, money issues, lack of respect esp towards own parents, service staff, taxi drivers, one's view towards cheating etc would show liao. if wait until after marriage it will be too late coz fundamental values cannot be reconciled nor compromised

 

[dambio]

You are right. But sounds very very hard. Because everyone has their bad days/weeks/months. And sometimes spiral already hard to come out.

I will work and get him out of the bridge and make him yandao again

Tats y. Ur tw zehzeh might be more magnanimous. But she overlooked all d small stuffs tat can build up n destroy a rs also.

U got social worker mindset in a rs la. U siao liao