How would you “handle” this?

[cherynsq]

I have a family helper for 4 years . Initial role was to look after my nephew and housework. My nephew is 4 years old now and the helper is still here but :

(1) 4 years of tenure ship, we find that she got so comfortable that work standards drop

(2) don’t follow chores list created for her , and while we were flexible still, she sometimes completely missed out certain chores

(3) weekends when there’s outing , she refuses to go . So ended up she stays at home while the rest of the family is out . Don’t think she do anything while staying at home

We trust her . so morning , after sending nephew to school around 9am, she go for her marketing , and she will linger for breakfast and back only around 1030am

Afternoon she gets to nap for 1 hour and then continue the day

My brother is considering of changing her away . But as part of the family member at home , I felt quite conflicted as she indeed is a trustworthy and honest as a person . Just that her work quality is not as good as before

Should change?

 

[dambio]

Change a new 1

 

[d3n]

change, then u take over the maid role

 

[Iamnobodyla]

What is the point of hiring her if she cannot do her work?

 

[Min Min]

You just be the new helper since you so free everyday ask pple how their lives improve with this that

 

[eggie011]

Change to a chio one.

 

[westernbarn]

Place her under PIP with a monthly review on her get well plan

 

[Laguna123]

Every week have a meeting with her and talk to her about her KPI, tell her no improvement will deduct salary.

 

[s-ghost]

change

you be the maid, let the maid be you

 

[MoeLanYong]

Funny how your brother's wife is not involved.

Usually the madam will have many things to say when it comes to maid.

 

[tomsss]

My brother is considering of changing her away . But as part of the family member at home , I felt quite conflicted as she indeed is a trustworthy and honest as a person . Just that her work quality is not as good as before

this shows sinkies always kenna conflict with heart

that's why pap always love to tug heart strings during GE

 

[plaingrain]

You raised my eyebrows when you mentioned "nephew" and "brother".

I used to stay under the same roof as my aunt and uncle, and it was a big extended family under the same roof in a three room flat. The circumstances living with a bigger family differs from the time when we are living away from relatives in an apartment which I am the sole owner and breadwinner.

You have to discuss your maid's predicament and performance with your brother. Since you didn't mention who foots the bill in hiring the maid, to me the overall decision maker has to be the one paying for the maid. In our case, my uncle and aunt split the bill when we hired our first Indonesian maid. The maid was a real pain in the arse, she could hardly get anything done at home, and we ended up doing most of the household chores since she told us that she i.e. the maid came from an affluent family in Indonesia where she was a rich man's daughter trying to avoid arranged marriage.

Anyways, what I'm saying is that for our case, we decided we are happier off doing without a maid, so we sacked her and bought a plane ticket and sent her back home to Indonesia. It was one of the best collective decisions we ever maid as a bigger family.

I don't know if you are able to cope without a helper, so you really have to be honest to yourself and ask some tough questions. Some people are so reliant on their maids, the moment you sack one, you have to quickly hire another one to take over, and it's troublesome teaching the new maid all over from scratch. If I were you, I'd go back to the maid agency and ask them to change a new maid for me if that is even possible.

 

[starrynite138]

Change. Your bro pay a salary to her to carry out housework and follow instructions. Helpers like her who completes a few contracts and behave like she is one a family member is common. She will very soon tell you how things should be done.
That's why some employers do not extended beyond 4 years.

 

[chekchek]

Beautiful? Got wear sexy at home?

 

[cherynsq]

I contribute 50% for the helper , paying for me and both my parents. My brother wife and his son took the other 50% payment .

Her character is soft , not the aggressive or those who shows black face . But as mention above , those are the glaring issues my sister in law kept complaining and hence my brother wanted to action.

He has to discuss with me as I’m also paying half . For me im neutral. So long can handle the housework , cook the dinner , I don’t really bother much . Just that she do talk to me whenever im back at home , and many times I got her to help me run errands like post letter at the mailbox , cook my favourite dish etc. and her English is okay

It’s just conflicting because overall as a friend she is okay but comes to work , she spent like 3 hours to clean one toilet , then those cookwares already dry she don’t keep until my SIL have to nag

 

[testerjp]

Change new one, the next one better or worse is also 50/50.

Weekend if it's her off day she is entitled to rest.

If you gave her instructions and she refused to follow. Then it's her fault. They may not be well educated enough to understand the requirements or as clearly.
It's not a critical fault if she just forgets or don't understands the instructions.

During renewal should be your best opportunity to communicate.

If the worker slacks it could also be she felt overworked or her extra effort is unjustified without you being aware. You may want to ask yourself your family got ask for more from her or not other than only think she did not enough.

Example the south Asian family who asked the maid to clean outside window, starved her and makes the helper sweeps every inch every day. Must make sure the maid fully used and they think it's justified. We don't know what's your requirement.

Also certain race have very low tolerance for being scolded especially in public.

 

[tmster]

If she isn't performing and completing the required tasks, and it is affecting you or the family, then it will be better to make a change. Her performance level is only going to drop even more as time passes and eventually you will get even more frustrated.

 

[mastermember]

Just change. The errands you need help with. Any Other new helper can also do

 

[Monstruo^]

After reading what you wrote, I think your helper life damn good. And you all are too lax with her that’s why she became like that. Maybe you all don’t dare to say her too. I grew up with different helpers, we never abuse her or what, but also not so lax like let her eat breakfast until she song then returns home, or have 1 hour nap daily.

I think for any issues, let your brother go and say her. Not you. Even if it is your SIL complaining, let your brother go and say her. Let them give her work to do.

Maybe give her one chance since you quite gum with her and pays 50% so you got the power to say to keep her and give her chance. If she got improved, okay. If still never follow the work list and the work list ish reasonable type, then consider changing.

 

[cherynsq]

Went through 3 rounds of performance review in Jan 2023, June 2024 and Dec 2025. These are the times where my SIL accumulated issues with her are addressed.

The nap was given to her because last time she has to wake up every 2 hours to feed my newphew milk so has been inplaced since 4 years ago

Then Jan 2023 review is for - she didn’t do inventory count . Everytime until no more then say. My SIL prefers to start restocking up on the laundry detergent , cooking sauces etc when it’s about 30% left . So created checklist for her to count . Until now still same , sometimes want to use , then realise no more and no spare

Then June 2024 review is for the cleaning of the house. Everyday she is at home but the house can be quite dusty, toilet not clean . Clothes one week iron once . That kind of things. So review

Then Dec 2025 was when she said my SIL work from home , she doesn’t want to be home. She wants to take off . Because SIL kept nagging at her not doing this / that . Review again