I dislike this young man that my daughter seems to fancy (at last night's Xmas party)

[zoossh]

Heng my PIL do not think like you as I don't achieve much , I am not a father myself though I understood how you feel
just saying

Are u a sweet talker?

 

[Money no have]

more weird ts never hire private detectives.

many high ses family will do all the due diligence first

 

[Lemonpeach]

He just want to taste your daughter abalone.

I suggest you try to meet him one on one and threaten him.

And then you access your daughter phone and secretly delete and block all the contact and social media connections.

Aiyah. This method did not work during Mederka package time, Majullah time, will not work for Gen Z, Alphas.

 

[ichinisan]

Youngsters are very defiant in the modern day. Most of them don't listen to their parents.

It will be difficult to change her mind if she likes the guy a lot.

 

[Lemonpeach]

more weird ts never hire private detectives.

many high ses family will do all the due diligence first

I'm not looking for a SIL. Met him for the first time last evening.

 

[Caterpillars]

From what you portrayed yourself in the text, I believe you do have enough resources in real world to conduct background check on the boy. Suggest you to do that before taking to your girl.

Even if you were to call out his bluff, you do need evidence to convince your girl. And maybe getting the mother to talk to her may be a better move since females relate to each other better on matter of emotions.

Not trying to side you or the boy here. But I believe obtaining factual evidence is fair to both parties

 

[Lemonpeach]

Youngsters are very defiant in the modern day. Most of them don't listen to their parents.

It will be difficult to change her mind if she likes the guy a lot.

She will regret. I can sense this type. It is his attitude, body language, behaviour, from which I compiled my evaluation.

 

[bobo07]

Youngsters are very defiant in the modern day. Most of them don't listen to their parents.

It will be difficult to change her mind if she likes the guy a lot.

This kind only learn after either get killed or seriously hurt in accident or after diao kia guy run away

 

[zoossh]

This ish the unspoken understanding of most guys wat

The dumping part is not true

at least not for most guys. Many men are still decent human beings

 

[MarkerForProjector]

This is why so many divorced. Once the girl realises reality, there is no need for the boy to be around. Pity the kids, if any.

Divorced with kids...
Jump on the next accepting guy...
The next guy makes more babies and chut pattern...
Divorce with more kids...
Cycle repeats...

Maybe can teach your daughter how to cook claypot chicken... And make influenza videos..

 

[Lemonpeach]

From what you portrayed yourself in the text, I believe you do have enough resources in real world to conduct background check on the boy. Suggest you to do that before taking to your girl.

Even if you were to call out his bluff, you do need evidence to convince your girl. And maybe getting the mother to talk to her may be a better move since females relate to each other better on matter of emotions.

Not trying to side you or the boy here. But I believe obtaining factual evidence is fair to both parties

Let her mother talk to her first.
I am not processing a SIL. I doubt hiring a PI to check on my daughter's friends will be acceptable to her.

 

[Lemonpeach]

Divorced with kids...
Jump on the next accepting guy...
The next guy makes more babies and chut pattern...
Divorce with more kids...
Cycle repeats...

Maybe can teach your daughter how to cook claypot chicken... And make influenza videos..

You are not very comforting with words.

 

[Nevereatrice]

U think your dotter will listen to u boomers? I can predict the outcome she will flip table with u to marry him.
All dotters are like this 女大不中留. He is different from others ill prove to u. But turns out no different. Just another sg guy 1000 looks same pattern

 

[doratch]

Before we go off to JP for Xmas and Oshogatsu, my daughter held a mini party at home last evening.

There was this young guy that my daughter seemed happy to chat, joke. I had observed she was always smiling at his humour.

I found out a few things:

1) He rented a car and volunteered to "ferry" a couple of friends to our place. Granted we are in a not so accessible area, he could have shared a Grab ride. I think he is showing off.

2) He darted around our place as if familiar with the setting. It is his first visit. He settled himself, without consideration of himself being merely a visitor, a guest. Acted as if he is the host. No big no small. I have no clue for how long he has met my daughter.

3) At 4 years older than my daughter (21), he completed his NS, Poly, and did a few businesses, as he claimed (or odd jobs as I sensed). I was not a good student, but his 18 points for O level amazed me. He told me he is a startup entrepreneur/marketing consultant. He talks a lot of topics, but shallow in discourse.

4) The family and social gaps are too wide. I grew up in a rental flat. My parents worked hard, upgraded themselves, progressed through the years. My parents were frugal, no gambling, drinking, smoking. This young man has stayed in the same housing estate, same flat since young. I wondered why the lack of upward social and financial mobility. Was there any attempts at hard work, goal-getting, or enjoyed life in the moment? Does he not have a mentor? Role model?

5) He is a damn good, sweet talker. The type that will give way to my daughter momentarily, make her happy, cheerful. Couldn't he employ his EQ for making $$$$, instead of in social conversation?

My hunch tells me this guy is not gonna to achieve much, and there will be no good outcome for my daughter. There is no compatibility. A 3rd rated poly and odd jober versus an Oxford alumnus.

I'm writing this to let out air and to see if any experienced fathers have good advice.

My wife and I will chat with her in JP. I will not leave her alone, with this chap.

I have read too many Edmwer posts and also heard from classmates about non-working husbands, lying flat at home, leeching on the wife. Such a menace, pest.

You can talk to your daughter and see how she feels about the guy.

I guess maybe she only finds him interesting to talk to or possibly he is just a funny guy but to be in a relationship, she might have her reserves too.

Just like we might have friends from different backgrounds but usually in a relationship, we will still try to connect with someone with similar intellectual level.

Just talk to your daughter and see what she says.

 

[woonwoonjiakbeehoon]

She is a good student. Hardworking. Probably took on more good genes from her mother. I was a bad student.

so your wife's father took a leap of faith in u? yet u dog eye other younger ppl now?

 

[Lolicious]

dont listen to garbage advise like dont be over protective and nonsense like that shiat. i have a daughter too. i try and not interfere my child choice of friends but sometimes, there are afew odd ball low lifer out there. u sure u wanna risk yr child getting broken in by these assholes?

yr best choice is to introduce pro social friends to her. i always introduce decent pp of her age perimeter to her. via colleague's child, friend child, church friends etc. and they will advise yr daughter according and she will listen. we are all young men once, foolish before, u absolute understand what is going in that crude young men age

if you dont do something and offer yr unconditional love off a golden spoon, she will seek and lick love off a knife. yr choice, yr decision


Read HWZ Forum Rules!

 

[arsenalfc85]

to be honest, usually charbors like this kind of guys.

can talk, sweet talk, honey tongued, knows how to flaunt, knows how to big cannon, high profile...even though some (not all) of them are like what ts mentioned, player, unstable, full of hot air only... in short 靠不住。but females dig this kind

those honest, quiet type, females usually bo hiew one.

i think ts prefers the 2nd type right?

 

[chaiscool]

It's attitude and not competency.

Evaluating attitude is subjective imo. Brown nosing to success kym?

We all did that. But regret not listening to our parents for some.

The someone you described has good attitude. This boy has poor attitude.

Part of growing up imo. If don't make mistake and learn, then how to grow. Aiya still young means got more room for improvement.

 

[recca03]

i think this young man cannot be trusted, as i think he has narcissistic personality disorder because he like to put up appearances for example, rent a car to fetch his friends to your house to impress them, and set up a lot of businesses to give the impression that he is very capable and successful

 

[yildun]

Now that you are overseas...

My friend could hypothetically do the things you wouldn't approve.

Okthxbye