I have a toxic wife, what should I do?

[King.Koopa]

shitty thing about divorce is the women usually gets custody of the kids even if the guy is more than capable of raising the child

 

[Roundtreex]

What do you mean by "I may not get serious advice from EDMW"...... That's quite offending. ..

Most BBFA dont even have gf to start.
Why tio triggered? He is speaking the truth.

 

[muddywaters]

Just divorce her and move on lah.

The problem with most people is they try to make marriage work. And then they feel stressed over it and get depressed.

If something doesn't work, just move on to next stage of life. Simple.

 

[surfmax]

So many beautiful woman out there and people get tied down and stay miserable to one miserable old cow...

 

[Squaredot]

Like I said earlier, marriages in Singapore are set up to fail.

A marriage is a union that is mutually beneficial to two persons. The husband gets to have a woman to care for him, sex, and have offspring. The women gets a breadwinner, support and offspring. In return for these benefits, each spouse put up with some disadvantages that come with marriage.

For a marriage to be successful, both parties have to contribute and put up with the cons. However in Singapore, the wife does not have the incentive to make the marriage a success. Firstly, she is not financially dependant on the husband as most of Singapore wives have their own careers. Secondly, from her POV, a divorce does not affect her greatly as she still retains financial support and custody of children due to WC.

Probably that's the reason why my marriage is 25 years old now She stopped working shortly after marrying me. Our roles are pretty traditional. We may not have as much money as our peers with dual incomes but we are doing fine. Squabbling sure have, but no big deals

 

[Some-one]

We have been married over 10 years and have a wonderful son. Recently, I noticed my wife has been showing annoyance face ro me quite a lot. I was puzzled how and when I offended her. Knowing her temper, I hesitated whether I should talk to her about it. At last, I brought up to her and try my best to express in a calmful tone and also to understand why she did that to me. Not surprising, she overreacted and had a fight with me. I kept quiet to avoid the quarrel and talked to her again as if nothing had happened. I invited her to watch a movie with me, she agreed at first but eventually told me to just watch it myself. I wondered why would she overreact in such a way when i was just telling her how I felt. At last, I went out to take a walk outside as I really needed some fresh air. On the next day, when we were in the same living hall, she texted me that she would be sleeping over with her friend on Sunday. We were in the same living hall, why won't she just talk me? I confronted her and I couldn't hold my temper anymore. Eventually, we had a big fight and in a state of anger, i asked her to move out and she did.

Now I realised my unhappiness and depression that I suffered all these years is because of her, not discounting the fact that we do have happy time together.

I am thinking of having a divorce now as I really don't want to live the rest of my life like this. Life is short and I am 37 now, i want to be happy and continue to improve myself. But my main consideration is my son, i want him to grow up in a happy family. I am really in a dilemma now.

What should I do? I may not get serious advice from EDMW, but I don't know who can i talk to. I don't have much friend and I don't want to let my family know.

Actually 37 is considered old already. You would not be able to marry again especially when you have a kid. You better think twice about it and try to repair the marriage first. You also have to think about losing your house (where are you going to stay?), paying alimony, losing custody of kid and child maintenance. Remember that all the above is caused by WC written by PAP so vote wisely in the future too for your kid's sake.

 

[ronnieseah]

No need pi. Just check her WhatsApp message

TS may want to engage a private investigator to check on her changed behaviour first ... then to decide is there anyway to salvage the marriage ... if it really cannot liao, then seek for divorce bah ...

 

[Prime 13]

Waifu most rikely seeing someone else nao.
She ish fantasizing abt life with the other man.
And see TS and marriage to TS as holding her down and ish her enemy.
This kind of thing i been thru before, sho i recognise the signs.

 

[HomeDaddy]

What should I do? I may not get serious advice from EDMW, but I don't know who can i talk to. I don't have much friend and I don't want to let my family know.

My personal opinion from what you have shared in your description and subsequent posts is that you should go for a divorce asap given that you have gone for marriage counselling and all without any significant improvememt. It takes two hands to clap afterall. If one party is not going to compromise at all, everyone is just wasting time.

The only issue here is about the custody of the child and shielding him from the aftermath of an ugly divorce.

I do not think that staying together for the sake of doing so equates to a happy or perfect family. Might as well get it done and over with.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. Life goes on. HardwareZone Forums app

 

[Matjes]

We have been married over 10 years and have a wonderful son. Recently, I noticed my wife has been showing annoyance face ro me quite a lot. I was puzzled how and when I offended her. Knowing her temper, I hesitated whether I should talk to her about it. At last, I brought up to her and try my best to express in a calmful tone and also to understand why she did that to me. Not surprising, she overreacted and had a fight with me. I kept quiet to avoid the quarrel and talked to her again as if nothing had happened. I invited her to watch a movie with me, she agreed at first but eventually told me to just watch it myself. I wondered why would she overreact in such a way when i was just telling her how I felt. At last, I went out to take a walk outside as I really needed some fresh air. On the next day, when we were in the same living hall, she texted me that she would be sleeping over with her friend on Sunday. We were in the same living hall, why won't she just talk me? I confronted her and I couldn't hold my temper anymore. Eventually, we had a big fight and in a state of anger, i asked her to move out and she did.

Now I realised my unhappiness and depression that I suffered all these years is because of her, not discounting the fact that we do have happy time together.

I am thinking of having a divorce now as I really don't want to live the rest of my life like this. Life is short and I am 37 now, i want to be happy and continue to improve myself. But my main consideration is my son, i want him to grow up in a happy family. I am really in a dilemma now.

What should I do? I may not get serious advice from EDMW, but I don't know who can i talk to. I don't have much friend and I don't want to let my family know.

The signs are obvious.
She is having an affair.

 

[swathe]

so many singles like you advocating your belief

Yes. Many EDMW BBFA act like consultant based on EDMW statistics and stories from google, saga, etc

Say until marry foreigner happier and more stable than locals. Probably BBFA nv go out see how many local families are out there.

 

[feitz]

Life in short. Get a divorce if things cant be sorted out. No need to dwell and suffer.

Sent from Samsung SM-G970F using GAGT

 

[Midnight2u]

okay divorce..... be happi

 

[fatboi666]

ts can send chiur wife pic?

 

[articland05]

ts u say u know ur wife gf whom she stay overnight with. can u contact her and ask her what ur wife complain to her abt?

she stay overnight surely is complaining abt u. try to get info from this friend of ur wife and you'll get ur answer.

but either way, i think u are screwed.
even divorce u will be pwn by WC for the rest of ur life. since ur wife is toxic she will make sure u will live a sub human life till the day u die

Sent from Motorola Dynatac 8000X using GAGT

 

[Matjes]

Some edmwers will say this type is being beta simp lol

His advise is dumb.

okay divorce..... be happi

That's risky.
Either he should find evidence of her cheating or let her initiate the divorce.

 

[Oyabun]

I was a divorcee. Nowadays, divorced is common phenomenal. Last time people felt ashamed of fail relationship.

It is very toxic when relationship turned sour. Two persons stay together, everything the other party does is an eyesore at home.

Outside, friends and colleagues cannot get together. We just ignored and keep a distance. But home is a place, you come back everyday after a hard work, a bad moment outside or even nothing which you just want to rest. It was already stressed outside, back home, u going to another battlefield to shout, yell and argue over tribal matters. If have young kids, it is even more worst, more differences of upbringing.

Home is a place to rest and unwind. Quarreling or just keep quiet ignoring the other party. Either way, the pressure also build up.

Communication and understanding each other are very important. Everyday, u need to hear the nagging if your partner complaining her workplace, doing household chores, taking care of your toddler, u already flatten out. At end of day, u already exhausted with 10-20% of energy left, u just wanted a shower and relax to recover. But you find yourself go to another labor camp.

Another triggered point is always the in laws. Nobody like someone criticise or bad mouth your parents or siblings.

There are solution like getting a domestic helper or child care. Your partner already toxic, adding one more person at home, u going to hear more complaining. Child care or schooling, sending and picking them back also another headache. We know the work environment in Singapore, time is not within our control. And problem is a norm of small family, u unable to get help from parents or siblings. Everyone needs to work.

Another cause is shifts work, u don't see each other and opportunity to talk out.

All these are problems and can be sorted out. If unable just let go. Don't put yourself into another stress and develop into mental issues.

Posted from PCWX using CPH2043

 

[Acetone]

Not true lah... so many Edmwers kanna pwned by ATB wife.

lol those married to foreign spouse still married and stay happy after 10 years.
Only sinkie spouse will get this kind of ending. GG.

 

[Matjes]

I was a divorcee. Nowadays, divorced is common phenomenal. Last time people felt ashamed of fail relationship.

It is very toxic when relationship turned sour. Two persons stay together, everything the other party does is an eyesore at home.

Outside, friends and colleagues cannot get together. We just ignored and keep a distance. But home is a place, you come back everyday after a hard work, a bad moment outside or even nothing which you just want to rest. It was already stressed outside, back home, u going to another battlefield to shout, yell and argue over tribal matters. If have young kids, it is even more worst, more differences of upbringing.

Home is a place to rest and unwind. Quarreling or just keep quiet ignoring the other party. Either way, the pressure also build up.

Communication and understanding each other are very important. Everyday, u need to hear the nagging if your partner complaining her workplace, doing household chores, taking care of your toddler, u already flatten out. At end of day, u already exhausted with 10-20% of energy left, u just wanted a shower and relax to recover. But you find yourself go to another labor camp.

Another triggered point is always the in laws. Nobody like someone criticise or bad mouth your parents or siblings.

There are solution like getting a domestic helper or child care. Your partner already toxic, adding one more person at home, u going to hear more complaining. Child care or schooling, sending and picking them back also another headache. We know the work environment in Singapore, time is not within our control. And problem is a norm of small family, u unable to get help from parents or siblings. Everyone needs to work.

Another cause is shifts work, u don't see each other and opportunity to talk out.

All these are problems and can be sorted out. If unable just let go. Don't put yourself into another stress and develop into mental issues.

Posted from PCWX using CPH2043

I was a divorcee. Ex wife had affairs and behaved like TS's wife during one of the affairs. Didn't work out and she came back 'normal'. But I found out about her affair and she gets very innovative with conjuring excuses to make her affair the resultant of my fault.

The TS needs to understand that if he has been doing his best for his family then he must acknowledge that it is bit his fault when such infidelity happens. Cut loss and move on.

 

[Itsnotfunny]

Only 2 rules :
Rule number one - Marry the one who loves u. Not the one you love.
Rule 2 : refer to rule one.