If confide in someone but he dunno how to listen and advice, means he got lousy EQ?

[henghengonedragon]

or good EQ means simply not getting angry?

Not everybody is a good consultant.

 

[Donnguy]

dont confide to a guy la. he will wanna solve and get over it.

gals are more empathetic if no gals wanna hear you out. then pay money for therapist or counsellor.

Girls I scare ( incl gossipy guys)
My story goes everywhere

firstly, not everyone know, or most won't know how to handle
secondly, when you confide in someone, set your expectations, are you seeking advice or just a listening ear?

empathy got diff types also, cognitive empathy which can be mimicked & learned but they dont actually feel it, like for the narcissists & sociopaths they can def mimic & mirror that.

honestly though i dont think anyone can truly understand yr plight, unless they've been thru it themselves. therefore not everyone can be confided in unless they hv the emotional capacity for it.

Not really about EQ to be accurate. It's about self-awareness.
"I'm angry!" Or "If he/she do this to me, I'll get/be angry."

Anger is a result, a symptom not the cause. It's something deeper and something more fundamental that trigger(s) the anger.

It can be:
- You feel not being respected
- You feel neglected or ignored after telling the person not to do this action a few times but he/she keeps repeating and shows a "can't be bothered" attitude


To understand more about why you and/or the other person who confides in you on the anger, ask these questions, for example:
- "Why am I/are you angry?"
- "What makes me/you angry?"
- "What happened before I/you got angry and other situations, actions etc, which escalate(s) my/your anger level?"






Not only empathy, the person who is being confided in also needs to be an active listener, just as @BunnyPancake has mentioned.

Active Listening is a soft skill which needs to be learnt and practiced a lot to reach a competent level. It isn't easy to apply because there are many components in it. In addition, the listener has to be neutral, patient, pay full (100%) attention, don't interrupt, knows when, how and what questions to ask and importantly, don't jump in to give "advice".

Reference articles on Active Listening:
1. Active Listening
https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/active-listening.html#:~:text='Active listening' means, as,involves listening with all senses.

2. Active Listening: 12 Skills to Enhance Your Listening
https://widelensleadership.com/active-listening-12-levels-to-enhance-your-listening-skills/

Image of the 12 components of Active Listening from the article

Not really on Active Listening, but on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which is 1 of the therapy/counselling techniques counsellors, therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists apply.

3. How it works - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/ta...gnitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/how-it-works/

This is good

 

[Lareina]

The key is to find the right person to confide with. Not everyone is able to listen or be understanding or able to help u sort feelings and give the right advice.
Secondly, what do you want out of it? A patient person who listens or practical advices even if give u harsh remarks that is helping u?

If you dun have anyone like this in your circle then might as well pay to find a therapist. They definitely can do the job well.

 

[Lareina]

took a 1.5 yr break, i was getting so many ntuc pts last yr, idk why. dont wanna be perm banned leh

Welcome back!! I actually miss u leh since u gone for so long

 

[dushensiao]

Heng no one hiew me so no problem. My problem is not enough money so tell people also no use.

 

[Reborn]

yes low EQ, lacks soft skills

u mia for more than 1 year. suddenly back

 

[dambio]

The key is to find the right person to confide with. Not everyone is able to listen or be understanding or able to help u sort feelings and give the right advice.
Secondly, what do you want out of it? A patient person who listens or practical advices even if give u harsh remarks that is helping u?

If you dun have anyone like this in your circle then might as well pay to find a therapist. They definitely can do the job well.

Tats y if u ask ppl how many real or bff they hv. It's always 1 or 2 Oni.

 

[dambio]

Heng no one hiew me so no problem. My problem is not enough money so tell people also no use.

Better dun say. Ppl will just think Ur own problem, u lazy, laugh, mock n look down on u.

 

[dambio]

took a 1.5 yr break, i was getting so many ntuc pts last yr, idk why. dont wanna be perm banned leh

Now better la. Just post smart.

 

[0218crawford]

simi EQIQ?

It has been proven time and again the best 4 letter place to confide whatever probem one might have is

EDMW.

guaranteed anonymity. Optimal solution.

 

[Kaylin]

Welcome back!! I actually miss u leh since u gone for so long

hey thanks! ya man been gone for 1.5 yrs. hows life for u?

 

[Kaylin]

Now better la. Just post smart.

ya manz, totally agree w u

 

[Kaylin]

u mia for more than 1 year. suddenly back

yeh, got miss me or not

 

[bakasora]

I thought EQ is something to do with the control of your emotion. What does it have to do with listening and giving advice?

 

[MangoCAT]

Are you seeking confirmation or advisory. Most men will listen de but advice - is for you to ask

 

[dambio]

simi EQIQ?

It has been proven time and again the best 4 letter place to confide whatever probem one might have is

EDMW.

guaranteed anonymity. Optimal solution.

Yea lor. As long as it's not dpx. Sure got ppl reply n give all sorts of advice from different pov.

 

[s-ghost]

took a 1.5 yr break, i was getting so many ntuc pts last yr, idk why. dont wanna be perm banned leh

wah zeh zeh is back

 

[Reborn]

yeh, got miss me or not

mmmm. Not really.

your ignore list got reset?

 

[Medicated Oil]

The key is to find the right person to confide with. Not everyone is able to listen or be understanding or able to help u sort feelings and give the right advice.
Secondly, what do you want out of it? A patient person who listens or practical advices even if give u harsh remarks that is helping u?

If you dun have anyone like this in your circle then might as well pay to find a therapist. They definitely can do the job well.

As times goes by, the best person to confide is yourself.
No one want to listen to you rant about your life all the time.
Have to find a way to release the pent up emotions first.
If you cannot jog, go for a long walk.

 

[Kaylin]

mmmm. Not really.

your ignore list got reset?

sigh so sad, broke my heart

my ignore list ah, im talking to u right? haha just kidding