Proposal Ring - Part 3

[Kkeell]

Gotta list down your priorities and see what’s possible. What’s a must have and what’s good to have. From what I see from what you’ve said so far, your SO’s priorities are:

MUST have
1. 1ct or more
2. Below $10k

Good to have
3. Diamond
4. Colour
5. Cut
6. Clarity
7. Brand

Then you try to find out or sit down and discuss with her what she’s willing to cut down on in order to hit the MUST have.

The biggest price cut is if you willing to go for another material. Moissanite is an excellent option. If she’s ok with moissanite you can easily get 1ct below 10k.

Next biggest is probably colour. Someone here got a grey diamond. Since its perceived value is lower, should be much cheaper.

Play around a bit with the balance on each item, compromise a bit on each, colour reduce a bit, cut a bit lousier, got some occlusions, etc.

But if her MUST is everything is good. Then no choice la the price sure go up mah.

Girls maybe will compare but got so many things to compare. Mine bigger but yellower, yours smaller but more sparkle. Hers very small but Tiffany and co. Ok mah each person got their own good point.

Ya fully agree it’s personal pref but I believe it’s girls pref that matters.like some ppl just care about the brand and so on.
For her is Juz the carat and bling. No mention of brand or anything else at all other then that and the settiing with side diamond

 

[Kkeell]

Soo... have anybody made the mistake of buying Mayb not what your other half wants?
What u Thnk is the best for her but nt wad she wants despite kept saying it for years and waiting for years and saying n saying for years.
Despite everybody else getting married first and she is still waiting.

But in the end you bought sumthing she didn’t like but u felt is the best of everything Juz not the correct size or not even close

 

[sugaricing83]

Have you tried looking at james allen?

Fully agree. But will u Thnk u rather get the best for her and Wan the best ? But not 1 carat.cuz u feel it’s too big. And would
U rather up the specs and down the carat bcuz ur frenz Wife actually compare it with their frenz side by side and see which is more bling. despite the fact that your partner told u she don’t it she will compare with her friends?

 

[Kkeell]

Have you tried looking at james allen?

No.. all my friends go to jp
Don’t really dare to buy online at all for so much money.

 

[havcove]

Woah sounds like u sacrifice a lot more then your Budget. During the process have u ever thought is not justifiable bcuz it has got no value. Or it did occur to you but she wasn’t gg to trade it off anyway.
She never mentioned about all the specs and she is not diamond expert in anyways. Only mentioned Bling and 1 carat.
But I thought of giving her the best and 1 carat might b too big and I’m not a high income earner so I do have the concern of ppl thnking it’s fake. However I do want the best for her.

haha if i can choose not to buy the diamond ring and just use the wedding band and get a happy wife, happy life, i will not spend on the engagement ring.. but i know my wtb is a bit of a sticker for tradition where she must have a surprise proposal from the guy, so i have to get a ring to propose and i cannot bring her to choose diamond and setting like others or even ask if she got any requirements.. this one really depends on your gf..

anyway in summary, as long as i get a happy wtb, happy life, and i can afford it, it worth it lar.. also my sacrifice not much lar.. my original budget was 15k.. additional 2k still can tahan..

 

[sugaricing83]

Mine is a 0.83 ct from jp with halo diamonds. Looks quite big lah, maybe you can do the same setting so that no need to hit the 1 ct

No.. all my friends go to jp
Don’t really dare to buy online at all for so much money.

 

[Kkeell]

haha if i can choose not to buy the diamond ring and just use the wedding band and get a happy wife, happy life, i will not spend on the engagement ring.. but i know my wtb is a bit of a sticker for tradition where she must have a surprise proposal from the guy, so i have to get a ring to propose and i cannot bring her to choose diamond and setting like others or even ask if she got any requirements.. this one really depends on your gf..

anyway in summary, as long as i get a happy wtb, happy life, and i can afford it, it worth it lar.. also my sacrifice not much lar.. my original budget was 15k.. additional 2k still can tahan..

Lol ok la lidat. Money can earn back u r rte happy wife happy life. One shot spend $17k if can afford better den kena nag and later Nid upgrade hoh

 

[Kkeell]

Mine is a 0.83 ct from jp with halo diamonds. Looks quite big lah, maybe you can do the same setting so that no need to hit the 1 ct

Woah looks this looks dam
Big.
Almst sure non of your friends wud have Guessed its 0.83 carat!

 

[havcove]

Lol ok la lidat. Money can earn back u r rte happy wife happy life. One shot spend $17k if can afford better den kena nag and later Nid upgrade hoh

well if she loves you, the ring/stone would be the one she was proposed with, she would not trade it, sell it away or upgrade it as it would hold sentimental value already which is priceless..

so as long as can meet her minimum requirement, should be fine lar.. for me, i was lucky no minimum requirement.. so anythings goes

 

[sugaricing83]

I was also like your gf, keep thinking about 1ct. During the initial months i also kept asking my husband when can upgrade but as time goes by, the 1ct doesn’t matter that much anymore. That extra $7k can be used for a holiday, house renovation or family planning.

You can always tell her that you will upgrade on 5th or 10th year anniversary.

Woah looks this looks dam
Big.
Almst sure non of your friends wud have Guessed its 0.83 carat!

 

[Despacito]

i finally settled on my ring design!! i gave up and brought my gf to JP to see the setting in the end. Went during the weekend and it was sibeh crowded. we were 1hr late for our appt and got attended to by william.

What happened was
- he gave some good suggestions on the ring design
- he gave the education to my gf all over again
- after the education, my gf change all her priorities. She actually downsized the carat because it looked better on her finger
- my gf could see the difference between the ideal and super ideal cut, so narrowed down to the super ideal one
- everything was settled with william already

My gf is very excited for her ring to be finished. Tell me no need proposal also. just give the ring can liao
anyway, future tips for bros, its ok to bring your gf along too. imo

 

[smileedee12]

Do you feel like u cannot accept it. Bcuz it’s not something you Wan and always wanted. Do you feel like u need to buy a 1carat even thou u ordy have a smaller carat bought by ur Husband?
If he stick to the 10k Budget would u buy the 1 carat?

And now that you r not wearing a 1 carat that u wanted have u thought of buying a stimulant for urself and wear that instead of the one ur hubby bought u?

It might sound hurtful but how to do deal with not being able to get what u Wan

Tbh, I've always wanted a real diamond at 1 CT, no less, because my fingers are fat. When we got our bto, I started searching on diamonds. After reading lots, I just felt it was so expensive. Then my SO mentioned about budget of $10k. But if buy from JP, $10k not enough. So that's when I decided that hey, why not we just save this $10k and just get a "fake" diamond, nobody would know. However he was insistent on a real diamond instead and that's when I asked him if can up budget. End up he lowered his budget LOL but nvm, we compromised. I didn't need a super ideal cut diamond. A high light performing ideal cut with a special number was good for us

Anyway, this depends largely on individual, if there is something I really want, and my partner gets me something which in his opinion is better / something more affordable for him, I will save by myself and buy it myself. I've heard of concerns from others where it will hurt his pride/feelings but blah, if I want it and you say you will get it for me, I give u one chance. If it doesn't meet my requirement(s), I will just get it myself because I really want it.

Back to your question(s), the real diamond was decided by us both so it already holds a special place in my heart. Besides, I'm already so thankful that he still bothered to spend $8k even after I said I was fine with a fake diamond. so nope, I will not insist on getting a real 1ct diamond. Not sure if it helps, he still went ahead and buy a fake 1ct diamond ring for me hahaha but this was before he decided that we should shop the real diamond together. He wanted to get my ring size and probably surprise me but figured better to shop together eventually so I'll be happy with my diamond and ring design

Ultimately I feel your partner and you should sit together and settle your finances. Even if she said she will settle furnitures, how about Reno costs? Your time to time paktor? How about wedding expenses? It sounds calculative la I admit but I think it's always good to sort these out before committing further. If you can't even settle small things like this, how about in future when house or even children come along? Who's going to decide on what and what money is worth?

Really got to see where each of you can give and take. Communication between both I believe is key to any relationships.

 

[throwawaygrad]

Soo... have anybody made the mistake of buying Mayb not what your other half wants?
What u Thnk is the best for her but nt wad she wants despite kept saying it for years and waiting for years and saying n saying for years.
Despite everybody else getting married first and she is still waiting.

But in the end you bought sumthing she didn’t like but u felt is the best of everything Juz not the correct size or not even close

Can I know what's the age of you and your fiancee-to-be? My ring was just 3.7k but maybe it's because my partner and I are relatively young... both 25. We prioritized financial security /settling down earlier vs waiting a few years to have a more expensive ring. My friends at the same age also didn't overspend, one hinted that hers is Orro, one got about a 0.6/0.7 JP.... none of us found it necessary to put our hands side by side to compare (Does this happen for real???! Isn't it very rude to your partner?)

I second what smileedee12 said about clarifying on how the ring's costs will be split. I believe you guys dote on gfs that's why you guys are at a ring forum, and I trust that in this case the budget is really too high as you stated (and not that you are being cheap). That makes me wonder why your FTB is so insistent on you spending above your means for her finger-trophy. You should let her know the cost of the diamond and ask if she's ok to 'rebate' half that value into other combined expenses like housing, renovation, etc. I wouldn't even mention dating expenses because this value is too high for the expenses to be so blurred.

That said, I'm a very gender-equal person so I guess I'm not really convinced by the "If you love me you will sponsor my dream!" philosophy... If a guy tried to do this to a girl I bet everyone will judge him so why are women getting a pass for this?

 

[Kkeell]

well if she loves you, the ring/stone would be the one she was proposed with, she would not trade it, sell it away or upgrade it as it would hold sentimental value already which is priceless..

so as long as can meet her minimum requirement, should be fine lar.. for me, i was lucky no minimum requirement.. so anythings goes

What if I already paid and it is no way near her requirement *

 

[Kkeell]

I was also like your gf, keep thinking about 1ct. During the initial months i also kept asking my husband when can upgrade but as time goes by, the 1ct doesn’t matter that much anymore. That extra $7k can be used for a holiday, house renovation or family planning.

You can always tell her that you will upgrade on 5th or 10th year anniversary.

I Thnk urs with the halo already looks v big.
Honestly, were you v v upset the first few months? And would you still upgrade it now if he asked? Or do u still occasionally look at urs and hope it was the one u wanted.

 

[VodkaPear]

What if I already paid and it is no way near her requirement *

So, what carat did u buy?
My understanding is JP SIC do look bigger as compared to other shop's diamond at the same carat weight. In addition, it is definitely more bling.

 

[smileedee12]

Can I know what's the age of you and your fiancee-to-be? My ring was just 3.7k but maybe it's because my partner and I are relatively young... both 25. We prioritized financial security /settling down earlier vs waiting a few years to have a more expensive ring. My friends at the same age also didn't overspend, one hinted that hers is Orro, one got about a 0.6/0.7 JP.... none of us found it necessary to put our hands side by side to compare (Does this happen for real???! Isn't it very rude to your partner?)

I second what smileedee12 said about clarifying on how the ring's costs will be split. I believe you guys dote on gfs that's why you guys are at a ring forum, and I trust that in this case the budget is really too high as you stated (and not that you are being cheap). That makes me wonder why your FTB is so insistent on you spending above your means for her finger-trophy. You should let her know the cost of the diamond and ask if she's ok to 'rebate' half that value into other combined expenses like housing, renovation, etc. I wouldn't even mention dating expenses because this value is too high for the expenses to be so blurred.

That said, I'm a very gender-equal person so I guess I'm not really convinced by the "If you love me you will sponsor my dream!" philosophy... If a guy tried to do this to a girl I bet everyone will judge him so why are women getting a pass for this?

I'm 26 this year while my SO is 31. But he was out of job for about a year yet we still went out dating so I can say his savings was so depleted start of last year.. Which also explains why I was fine with a fake diamond because doesn't make sense to stretch my partner so thin when all that really matters is just us being able to live with each other eventually. Till date he only managed to save about $4k for the ring but JP/HOH said can slowly pay after ring is ready (I think.. We are still at the ring designing phase Hahahah so hard to decide!) Anyway we're not really in a rush because our house only ready end 2020. He wants to make sure we have a proper house before starting marriage life together

Guys should also learn how to manage ladies' expectations. And it starts with the e-ring! If you can't even manage this, the ladies would think that anything and everything she wants u also will give. confirm next time will have problems negotiating with wife liao.. Unless u can find a way to say something along the lines of I will spend on e-ring but moving forward, our future expenses including wedding and house, will split! Then next time u can ownself consider whether or not to split costs or ownself sponsor hahahha

 

[havcove]

What if I already paid and it is no way near her requirement ����*

bro, this i really cannot comment since i dunno you and your wtb, think you should know your wtb better and what are her red lines and reactions.. since she is going to marry you, doubt it be too catastrophic, maybe she will be like smileedee12 and sugaricing83 and grow to love it.. after all, at least to me, the worth of the diamond is in its sentimental and significance value, that i used it to propose to her to spend our live together

but one thing i know for sure and guide me well so far, once you make a decision after considering all the options, stick with it and dun look back, there is only forward left, no what if, if i know what is going to happen, i would be the richest man on earth by now..

 

[smileedee12]

I Thnk urs with the halo already looks v big.
Honestly, were you v v upset the first few months? And would you still upgrade it now if he asked? Or do u still occasionally look at urs and hope it was the one u wanted.

Actually, halo does help to make center diamond looks bigger. I guess I will start sharing on our diamond picking process (don't mind me, pls skip if it bores u)

Before heading to JP, I couldn't decide between a cushion, octagon or heart. Then I was asked, shape or bling? My answer was bling. So instantly my heart was thrown one side. I was so sad! But looking through the ASET scope, it was akin to looking through a glass. Octagon from far looks like a round especially for smaller ones. The cushion.. Haishhhhh..... Most of the carat weight goes to its depth.. So it actually looks smaller than a round of the same carat weight. So my SO became insistent on a round. We quarreled a little bit before we were offered to get a round diamond with a cushion halo. Both will be happy and the diamond would look bigger. And beneath the halo we could design anything we'd like, and I asked for a heart shape hahaha.

Few days after leaving the shop, I was just thinking that if we remove the halo or side diamonds, we could save a few hundred dollars. I suggested first to remove halo. After all, the round would already bling well on its own. But no, SO said the diamond would look small and I wouldn't get my cushion shape while he wouldn't change the diamond to a cushion of bigger carat weight to get same size as then the number would not be special le. So OK nvm, I asked to remove side diamonds but nope, he knows how much I'd like my ring to bling and the side diamonds would help too so in the end, still have halo and side diamonds xD it sounds like a short story but man, we certainly quarreled over just this one ring! Hahaha and so many designs that came through, either I like or he likes..hasn't come to a point where both of us like the design so we always quarrel over who's wearing the ring and who's paying for the ring

Long story short, must be able to come to an agreement with your partner so both will be happy

 

[havcove]

i finally settled on my ring design!! i gave up and brought my gf to JP to see the setting in the end. Went during the weekend and it was sibeh crowded. we were 1hr late for our appt and got attended to by william.

What happened was
- he gave some good suggestions on the ring design
- he gave the education to my gf all over again
- after the education, my gf change all her priorities. She actually downsized the carat because it looked better on her finger
- my gf could see the difference between the ideal and super ideal cut, so narrowed down to the super ideal one
- everything was settled with william already

My gf is very excited for her ring to be finished. Tell me no need proposal also. just give the ring can liao
anyway, future tips for bros, its ok to bring your gf along too. imo

congrats!