Some thoughts

[Lchlch]

Anyway TS, duno what’s your religion, but wife cannot send off husband. FYI nia

husband also cannot send wife either.

 

[Monstruo^]

Update: Cannot send off means, on the last day, AKA 出殡, there will be a final ceremony at the funeral site before coffin is closed and everyone takes car or bus to follow the 灵车 that holds the deceased to the crematorium.

So at that time, the husband or wife just stay at funeral site and cannot go along with the rest to the guests to the crematorium to witness the cremation. That’s send off.

I find this cruel and wth lah. But this is the “SOP”. Reason ish because (1) Scared the dead don’t bear to leave but bring the living (husband or wife) along. (2) And also scared the living will kena minus off years of age if he or she go attend the send off.

 

[Monstruo^]

husband also cannot send wife either.

Yep correct. I’m not sure of other religions though. I’m speaking of Taoism. Hokkien and Teochew.

 

[Lchlch]

Update: Cannot send off means, on the last day, AKA 出殡, there will be a final ceremony at the funeral site before coffin is closed and everyone takes car or bus to follow the 灵车 that holds the deceased to the crematorium.

So at that time, the husband or wife just stay at funeral site and cannot go along with the rest to the guests to the crematorium to witness the cremation. That’s send off.

I find this cruel and wth lah. But this is the “SOP”. Reason ish because (1) Scared the dead don’t bear to leave but bring the living (husband or wife) along. (2) And also scared the living will kena minus off years of age if he or she go attend the send off.

yes bro, it is very very very painful and heartbreaking......the feeling is traumatic.

 

[Yuripa]

when my grandpa passed away, i sent him off on the behalf of my dad since he was the eldest child
After 9 years, i did the same thing when my grandma passed away
And after 20 years, my dad's turn to be sent off by me

Don't know what's the point
Just some thoughts


P/S, dad was an illegal immigrant and he couldn't travel back to see his mama & papa in JB for the last time

My condolences to you TS

Meaning is something that you will have to search/create

I'm not sure if there will ever be a perfect meaning but I sure hope that

We can all find a meaning that we can comprehend and accept

But of course, some of us have lived our lives without ever wanting to search/create the above mentioned and hey, it still works out for them

So...To search/create/understand/accept/don't do anything...

That is the real question that only you can figure out yourself

 

[moonlighter_sg]

yes bro, it is very very very painful and heartbreaking......the feeling is traumatic.

梁山伯与祝英台 祝英台被许配给马文才，梁山伯得知真相后忧郁成疾，不久离世。
祝英台出嫁时执意祭墓，坟墓裂开后两人化蝶

It is an ancient Chinese belief. husband cannot send wife, and vice versa.

 

[standarture]

None of the non-regulars can shoot rifles or pistol properly. We barely have any training lol. We are basically cannon fodder for the regulars to hide behind.

 

[1982-1994]

I experienced a very very difficult , heart break, grief where I cant even send off my wife.....

Wanted to ask you why...

Anyway TS, duno what’s your religion, but wife cannot send off husband. FYI nia

And vice versa also hor.

Thanks for the reminder, suddenly recalled it
My religion is taoism

Told my wife but she said no such thing back in china

My condolences to you TS

Meaning is something that you will have to search/create

I'm not sure if there will ever be a perfect meaning but I sure hope that

We can all find a meaning that we can comprehend and accept

But of course, some of us have lived our lives without ever wanting to search/create the above mentioned and hey, it still works out for them

So...To search/create/understand/accept/don't do anything...

That is the real question that only you can figure out yourself

I am replying this thread in trifold mode, you?

 

[moonlighter_sg]

when my grandpa passed away, i sent him off on the behalf of my dad since he was the eldest child
After 9 years, i did the same thing when my grandma passed away
And after 20 years, my dad's turn to be sent off by me

Don't know what's the point
Just some thoughts


P/S, dad was an illegal immigrant and he couldn't travel back to see his mama & papa in JB for the last time

I am surprise in this modern era, 2026, people still practise some very old and traditional practice.

Taoism and Buddhism practices always mixed up like rojak here.

 

[Lchlch]

梁山伯与祝英台 祝英台被许配给马文才，梁山伯得知真相后忧郁成疾，不久离世。
祝英台出嫁时执意祭墓，坟墓裂开后两人化蝶

It is an ancient Chinese belief. husband cannot send wife, and vice versa.

i secretly stand behind the pillar and wipe....very unbearable...

 

[Monstruo^]

yes bro, it is very very very painful and heartbreaking......the feeling is traumatic.

Yep… when my mom can’t send my dad I feel like wth. Like cruel.

When putting the urn in the sea for scattering ashes at sea, my mom also can’t do it. The company said ish let my char siew brother (elder son) did it. I feel quite angry lah. Like all these stupid traditions.

 

[moonlighter_sg]

i secretly stand behind the pillar and wipe....very unbearable...

better this way, if not the deceased will hang around few more days on earth for their love one. You dun want the 人鬼情未了story to happen to you.

 

[Yuripa]

Wanted to ask you why...


Thanks for the reminder, suddenly recalled it
My religion is taoism

Told my wife but she said no such thing back in china


I am replying this thread in trifold mode, you?

Back to zFold7!!

Still prefer the bifold

Trifold is really too heavy for my comfort in my humble opinion

I realise that I'm quite particular about weight related matters

I couldn't get a good sense of the trifold weight at samsung experience stores bcoz it was partially secured to the display stand

 

[idolcritic]

who send ts off?

 

[Lchlch]

Yep… when my mom can’t send my dad I feel like wth. Like cruel.

When putting the urn in the sea for sea burial, my mom also can’t do it. The company said ish let my char siew brother (elder son) did it. I feel quite angry lah. Like all these stupid traditions.

the traumatic still hunt me until now......
I can sense i have changed alot.
Become very very quiet and unlike the past, jovial, laugher, join whatever events...
Now, very withdrawn.
Dont mix with friends nor colleagues.
I just want to be alone.

 

[Monstruo^]

Thanks for the reminder, suddenly recalled it
My religion is taoism

Told my wife but she said no such thing back in China

Taoist funeral ish the most complicated, even if it is bare minimum package. If add in more stuff, costs much more and more complicated and longer duration on last day.

Taoist funeral I attended Hokkien and Teochew before and in both, the husband or wife also cannot send off each other de. Overseas one also (not China).

If the funeral ish held in Singapore, just follow accordingly lor based on country and dialect.

Most importantly ish treat your mom and wife nice when still alive. Aiya.

 

[Monstruo^]

the traumatic still hunt me until now......
I can sense i have changed alot.
Become very very quiet and unlike the past, jovial, laugher, join whatever events...
Now, very withdrawn.
Dont mix with friends nor colleagues.
I just want to be alone.

Takes time… most importantly need to differentiate past and now and future. Past ish she was gone but still lives in your heart. Now and future ish to take care of yourself and kids and start to get better, mentally emotionally physically. Mybfd. Treasure time with those still alive.

 

[Lchlch]

Takes time… most importantly need to differentiate past and now and future. Past ish she was gone but still lives in your heart. Now and future ish to take care of yourself and kids and start to get better, mentally emotionally physically. Mybfd. Treasure time with those still alive.

thanks bro....not easy...the feeling is like, when can I die?

 

[Monstruo^]

thanks bro....not easy...the feeling is like, when can I die?

Need to be aware of your thoughts and control your thoughts. When you are thinking of such thing “when can I die” etc, once you are aware, question and challenge your thought, “do I really want to die?”, change your thoughts to sth else. If possible, seek a psychologist to manage.

And don’t stay at home most of the times. Be around with people. Talk. Go out. Do things. Etc etc. Just force yourself to go out. Get sun.