Are we just delusional and kidding ourselves?

krikering

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Everybody have their issues to deal with. They don't sound out doesn't mean they are okay. You should take some time off social media apps
True, social media apps skew people's perceptions at times in my opinion. Everyone is in his/her unique circumstances, some people hide their feelings well.
 

roflolmao

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Comparison is thief of joy, I know this logic.

But is hard to get rid of the feeling that you suck and I'm not asking a lot. I just wanna feel once I'm satki that all. Like at least there is 1 area in my life I'm "more superior" or above average compared to my peers, within people I know.

Be it, I'm financially richer, earn more, prettier, higher qualifications, success at work or in love etc. At least just 1 thing I can be proud of once.

But people around me win me every area hands down. And no is not caz I didn't work hard. The people I know have everything. Parents doting to them or at least rich enough to support them, rich and understand husband, cute kids, successful at work, good looking partner, ballot bto 1x tio and get awesome queue number, many more.
Don't worry, you are prettier, richer and more successful than me. I guarantee it.
 

dontwastetime

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I have always say Singapore economy is very good. I run my own accounting firm, and know hundreds of SME bosses. If economy is bad, I will among the first to know because I do their accounts and audit and tax.

So far Singapore is quite huat
OK noted. every year shall ask u spore huat or not.

What industry for an SME huat the most so far?
 

BlackWing1977

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Laneige

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I see edmw always jjww that single is the way, alone got more money and freedom etc.

But I see reality (maybe on surface) is that those who are successful at work are also the ones got lucky to bto within 1 or 2 tries, marry early, have kids and have a typical happy family life. Every year holiday with life progressing well.

Early 20s somehow did ok at work, mid 20s marry, late 20s have kids. By early 30 have house, have car, have wife, have kids and helpers le.

Is us behkan bbfa keep jjww say FIRE is best but truth is we just unwanted and behkan. (Besides some troll here but reality are hidden dragons)

Go dating kena hiam, bbfa like us can't score dates or just kena ghosted. Forever stuck in low ses loop worry about next day.

While the reality outside people all celebrating next milestones and trying to achieve next goal. Only we here being echo chamers trying to affirm each others misery nia. Correct ma?


One thing for sure
U hardly see ppl that don’t appreciate things they have
Always see the negative side of things
Always blame
Always scare this n that
N u see them vs those u said n those “just do it” attitude

Along the way those “just do it” some r really reckless n when Shi t happened is v jialat but all things gd then they risked it n get it
Eg those got chiong Q overnight for the woodleigh condo

Looking back now, u think they r stupid to Q overnight or not
 

FerloneChiow

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Well, as someone who married Singaporean girls...TWICE, TS still too inexperienced in life. His ideal of success is until age 30+. But reality in life is..by 30+, most married men exhausted by wifey who still behave like a spoilt princess and kids who follow the bad habits from their mum. End up the poor husbands usually have no social life and no personal time. Even being able to play games or hang out with old school buddies is a luxury that most cannot get to enjoy. Eventually long term suppression and obligations sets in and most become bitter and start wondering is this the ideal life they want in this one life =) I really pity those 30+ guys who havent settled into their married life despite after being married for a few years. Yes. Pity is how i feel but TS feel these poor guys are successful hahahahahaha!
 

Wu-Han Clan

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I see edmw always jjww that single is the way, alone got more money and freedom etc.

But I see reality (maybe on surface) is that those who are successful at work are also the ones got lucky to bto within 1 or 2 tries, marry early, have kids and have a typical happy family life. Every year holiday with life progressing well.

Early 20s somehow did ok at work, mid 20s marry, late 20s have kids. By early 30 have house, have car, have wife, have kids and helpers le.

Is us behkan bbfa keep jjww say FIRE is best but truth is we just unwanted and behkan. (Besides some troll here but reality are hidden dragons)

Go dating kena hiam, bbfa like us can't score dates or just kena ghosted. Forever stuck in low ses loop worry about next day.

While the reality outside people all celebrating next milestones and trying to achieve next goal. Only we here being echo chamers trying to affirm each others misery nia. Correct ma?
well.... if you put a grp of 100 losers in a conference room... after 2 hrs they will agree they are the best there is.... no one will call out their BO... bad teeth... bad looks... bad dress sense... ez link card... anime collection... becoz all are the same type....

juz like insurance agents MLMers... after some lame leaders conference to be better err leaders.... waa... say until they gt make a positive change to society.........
 

coyote

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At the end of the day, you will ask yourself did you live your life as what you here for.
You can ask your "happier and more successful" friends.
Just listen to what they have to say.
You will realize that they dun really have "everything".
And they also have their problems and headache.

"No one is happy with what they already have,
They are always hungry about what they dun have."

It is one life lesson that you have to learn yourself.
If you cannot figure it out, then you will just continue to rant and beat yourself up for nothing.
Spend the time to find a way out.
No one will hand you the model answers.

Or else be forever stuck in this forum ranting about how life is unfair to you.

Words of wisdom.👍
 

Bzzbzz

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I see edmw always jjww that single is the way, alone got more money and freedom etc.

But I see reality (maybe on surface) is that those who are successful at work are also the ones got lucky to bto within 1 or 2 tries, marry early, have kids and have a typical happy family life. Every year holiday with life progressing well.

Early 20s somehow did ok at work, mid 20s marry, late 20s have kids. By early 30 have house, have car, have wife, have kids and helpers le.

Is us behkan bbfa keep jjww say FIRE is best but truth is we just unwanted and behkan. (Besides some troll here but reality are hidden dragons)

Go dating kena hiam, bbfa like us can't score dates or just kena ghosted. Forever stuck in low ses loop worry about next day.

While the reality outside people all celebrating next milestones and trying to achieve next goal. Only we here being echo chamers trying to affirm each others misery nia. Correct ma?

It's true, some are born more lucky and some are not.

If you're not born more lucky then you just have to work harder. Those who work hard and try to better themselves usually will in fact make something of their lives. At the very least, they can look themselves in the eye and say that even if the world shortchanged them, at least they did not let themselves down.

Of course, you can just keep complaining about why you were not born more lucky. But if all you do is complain, why are you surprised that your life is not getting better?

Have you started exercising, learning social skills and networking in your company?
 

krikering

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Well, as someone who married Singaporean girls...TWICE, TS still too inexperienced in life. His ideal of success is until age 30+. But reality in life is..by 30+, most married men exhausted by wifey who still behave like a spoilt princess and kids who follow the bad habits from their mum. End up the poor husbands usually have no social life and no personal time. Even being able to play games or hang out with old school buddies is a luxury that most cannot get to enjoy. Eventually long term suppression and obligations sets in and most become bitter and start wondering is this the ideal life they want in this one life =) I really pity those 30+ guys who havent settled into their married life despite after being married for a few years. Yes. Pity is how i feel but TS feel these poor guys are successful hahahahahaha!
Can understand, honestly speaking from what I think there are some aspects in life where people really need to think things through and at least have a clear idea of what you are seeking for 1st.

Obviously, things changes and sometime in future you realise what you have right now is not really what you want (and not as good as what you originally thought it would be).

Other than Finance aspects, relationships (and starting a family) is also a major one too.

At least, by thinking things through in the 1st place you can at least reduce some unnecessary mental headaches (Also, time taken alongside with efforts) and money spent in this duration too.

You filter your original large pool of choices to a small variety of choices, which in the end you will make your eventual decision.

Same for finance in some areas, if I did not do enough research like few years ago. I would have been in an ILP but now I decided to invest in low-costs UTs (mainly Amundi ones e.g Amundi Prime USA Fund) Via Endowus/POEMs.

Sometimes down the road, looking at potentially investing in ETFs e.g VWRA/CSPX, etc. (Wanted to do so earlier, but IBKR app interface and customer service is putting me off as of now).

Not to say, what I am doing now is the best option for me as a single middle-income in 30s but at the very least after doing some research personally feel that is not an overall bad decision.



Life itself is complicated, there are some people which are already in a relationships but at the same time does not know what true unconditional love is. It will Not be smooth-sailing.

Sometimes, being single give you the time to look back in retrospective about what you have done/could have done or perhaps make the results a better one. You have the personal space to slowly contemplate, what you are seeking for too to avoid further time wasted.

Well, to each his/her own. Everyone has his/her life to live. Make your own choices, and be willing to bear the consequences in the long run ba. Try to avoid making rash decisions in the heat of moment, which might potentially lead to life-long regrets and guilt.
 

Jian19

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this one very true.. need to find wife that is willing to 同甘共苦 with you... gives u motivation to work even harder to provide for the family
Now hard Liao

U ask her 吃苦 with chiu she tell u hong kan
 

IAmChiobu12M

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Yes they form family, but not always Happy family. Not everything after marriage is good. Always a group of people will regret marry.
Question is how big is this regret group
So your group who are married, how many regret?
 

IAmChiobu12M

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When I was a single, I always jjww why am I a single on Facebook
I am tall and peasant looking also mah (pun intended)
wna4RAj.jpeg



I ballot for three times and kena numbers within supply everytime
From 500+, to 300+ for non mature estate and 40+ for mature estate
So being successful at work or not, doesn't matter

Enlisted to NS at early 20s
Mid 20s got a first full time job
Late 20s worked as an office boy in some small family company
Early 30s joined the current company months after the previous job and it is coming to the 15th year
Mid 30s knew my wife at work
Been married for 8 years
No kids since our combined is not even median
Promoted twice but pay kena hentataki till 2 years back
Between first job and the current one, pay increased by 3 folds but still below median

Kee9xTM.jpeg

In my life, I only dated a chio sinkiebu once when I was a bbfa, even gave her flowers that day but she told me she likes someone else, I wasn't keen in her story and no more meetups, should have been patient

I only scored dates with plain Janes through mIRC, and also had my share of sexy fun
Got even one who ended up as my ex, we even cohabited together even when I was jobless at 25 but broke up after 5 months as I was the one to initiate it


My goal is to achieve for full retirement sum in 2029
I claimed myself to be someone with a basic internet etiquette as I don't go around posting with toxic replies

Rather use the time to cuddle with wife at home than to add misery to someone else
Chiu are not bbfa, and one that post nicely. So you don't belong to the delusional and echo chambers.

Is always heartwarming to see your post, you are the rare few here that are genuine and down to earth.
 
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IAmChiobu12M

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yups this is almost fairytale


This is the norm and most get married due to societal “pressure” and just follow the motion. Outward appearance they have attained the married badge but inner self, may not be happy.
I do try to test test ask around people who are just married and have kids. They all seems so happy and no worries one. Which puzzles me like finances really seems like not an issues with them. So I'm thinking are they that rich or am I that poor?

Despite having kids, quality of life don't drop. And will say is not expensive a lot gov subsidy. Or will say is normal to have kids ma.

I honestly think having kids very expensive. And a normal dual income won't be able to live comfortably. I know some both not working yet still can continue have a high life but I'm just curious ASK and ASB really can don't do anything and money can keep flow in meh?
 
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